New 'Jersey Shore' Trailer Makes Previous Seasons Look Like 'Sesame Street'
“It took a day for someone to see my goods!”
Such is the first line uttered by Deena Nicole Cortez, the newest member of the lewd, crude MTV hit "Jersey Shore," as she takes off her bikini in front of a wide-eyed "The Situation."
And with that, "Jersey Shore" announces its rank return for Season 3 in a new extended trailer just released.
Cast member Sammi describes Deena thusly: "She's four feet tall, short little meatball, exactly like Snooki."
Which should make New Jersey beach-goers shudder, as several lowlights from the show feature Snooki in various states of drunken beach cluelessness.
Exhibit A: Snooki is so drunk she can't find the beach, when she is standing on the boardwalk, looking at the beach.
Exhibit B: Snooki is so drunk she can't walk on said beach without falling flat on her face.
Exhibit C: Snooki is so drunk on the beach, she's yelling at cops as she gets arrested, arms twisted behind her back, as she's led off to jail.
But this isn't just the Snooki show (yet). In the trailer, J-Woww and Sammi get into a serious fist fight after Sammi disses new girl Deena, at the end of which Sammi takes her leave from the show.
"The dynamic definitely has changed," says voice of reason Vinny. "It's not one big happy family anymore."
Shakespeare he is not, but right he is.
A lot has also changed off camera since the stars of the show went from no-name partiers getting blasted by Italian groups for perpetuating Italian stereotypes (though several are not even Italian) during Season 1.
Now "The Situation" is on the cover of Men's Fitness and employs Brad Pitt's publicist, J-Woww turned down $400,000 to pose for Playboy, and Snooki is so famous, her poof hairstyle may some day be remembered as fondly as Farrah Fawcett's feathered 70s 'do.
Because with Snooki, anything is possible.
And, too, with lookalike Deena?
We shall see how the worm turns.
Click here to see the extended trailer, if you dare.
"Jersey Shore" premieres Jan. 6 on MTV at 10pm EST.