Here's what's going down:
Supermodel and former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit beauty Petra Němcová couldn't have been wearing a shorter dress at Prague Fashion Week on Saturday. (below). Well, we guess she could have worn something shorter, but then she's just be wearing a shirt. And no pants.
Publicist Jaime Primak Sullivan of Bravo's new series "Jersey Belle" moved from New Jersey to Alabama to be with the love of her life — and she's bringing a little Jersey along with her. Watch the video above to hear her thoughts on how Jersey girls differ from Southern belles.
Kira Kasantsev of New York was crowned Miss America at the 88th annual pageant in Atlantic City on Sunday evening. She definitely earned it, but we suspect Miss Ohio would have taken the crown had she not enlisted the services of a second woman during the talent portion (below). That's cheating, Miss Ohio.
Martha Stewart told Net-a-Porter magazine that if Gwyneth Paltrow were "confident in her acting, she wouldn't be trying to be Martha Stewart." So it sounds like Martha is trying to start beef with Gwyn, and knowing her, it's probably a much more succulent, flavorful beef.
Selena Gomez shared a picture of her brand new haircut on Instagram this past Sunday (below). Apparently, Bieber likes his lady with bangs.
Speaking of new haircuts, Kanye West got several chevrons shaved into the top and sides of his head. And they all point forward, probably because he thinks we're not paying enough attention to his perpetually pissed-off face.
In other Kanye news, the rapper reportedly stopped a concert in Australia because two people in the audience declined to stand when he asked. Of course, one had a prosthetic leg and the other was in a wheelchair, but Yeezus still waited to perform until his security could confirm as much.
A head writer for the Netflix series "Orange is the New Black" is leaving her husband for one of the actresses on the show, presumably because he doesn't look as good in a bright orange jumpsuit.
On Friday of last week, Taylor Swift invited an entire fraternity to her upcoming concert after they demonstrated their impeccable lip-synching abilities in an online video (below). Fakery will get you everywhere, kids.
Miley Cyrus called her father Billy Ray Cyrus "the most magical hillbilly wizard of all time," which is a bold statement considering that Willie Nelson still walks the planet.
Candice Swanepoel shared from the set of an upcoming Victoria's Secret photoshoot this past Sunday (see one below), thus fulfilling her September duties as Maxim's "hottest woman" of 2014.
On Sunday, a statue of the late Amy Winehouse was unveiled in the Camden Town section of north London. The occasion marked what would have been the "Rehab" singer's 31st birthday, and probably her 50,000th menthol cigarette.
Cindy Crawford Instagrammed a selfie in front of Machu Picchu on Sunday (below), proving that — without a doubt — she's aging much, much better than the 600-year-old ruins of the Inca civilization.
After denying that she had a sex tape just last week, Iggy Azalea's lawyers have admitted that a tape might exist, but it was filmed without her consent and made when she was underage. The tape's male talent, however, contends that Iggy was willing and legal, because he's looking to score big by Iggy's admirable physique for a second time.
And finally, a Los Angeles pizzeria called Stoned Oven Gourmet Pizza's (sic) is now selling frozen pizzas containing the "world's strongest" dose of marijuana extract. They're also available for personal catering, should you want to get Grandma really stoned at her 80th birthday bash next month. She's got glaucoma, after all.