Justin Bieber's Snapshot of Selena Gomez and LAVO's Enormous One-Pound Meatball

Here's what everybody's gossipping about: 

According to Justin Bieber himself, the singer "busted" his eardrum while cliff-diving, but that won't stop him from "bringing you … new music." And it also won't stop him from Instagramming a photo of Selena Gomez's backside (below), because that's exactly what he did only hours later.

Speaking of round mounds of flesh, Italian restaurant LAVO in New York City serves up a one-pound meatball made from Kobe beef, sausage and veal. Learn their signature recipe in the video above and try making your own  — but maybe invite a friend over for dinner. You probably can't eat this thing alone.

Perhaps because we weren't taking her seriously as a purveyor of fine lingerie, Britney Spears debuted a new bob haircut during a promotional stop in Poland (below). So stop making jokes, everybody. This is truly the haircut of a woman who means business.

On Thursday in Paris, Kim Kardashian was reportedly grabbed around the legs by the same Ukranian "prankster" that tried to punch Brad Pitt and hide under America Ferrara's skirt. In related news, "assault" is apparently now referred to as "pranking."

Later that same day, Kim also rocked the blazer-with-nothing-underneath look at the Lanvin show during Paris Fashion Week. But so did Kanye, according to these new pictures at Britain's DailyMail.

Demi Lovato really wanted us to check out her butt on Thursday. The singer and former "X Factor" judge shared a photo of herself admiring her own bum (below), and giving it a look that says, "Hey, you. If I were still a judge on 'The X Factor,' I would've voted you through to the final round."

Former "American Idol" winner Jordin Sparks and her boyfriend, singer Jason Derulo, have called it quits. Perhaps it had something to do with his latest hit about having sex with foreign ladies.

Hulk Hogan has overturned a discriminatory dress code at his Hogan's Beach restaurant in Tampa — which forbade do-rags, torn clothing and extensive jewelry — presumably after realizing he'd been wearing all those things his entire life.

Earlier this week, Miranda Kerr shared a photo of her new jeans on Instagram, but neglected to mention anything about the see-through sweater she was also wearing. And if she thought we wouldn't notice, she clearly has no idea

Speaking of attractive women named "Kerr," country singer Jason Aldean got engaged to his girlfriend/one-time-mistress Brittany Kerr. It's unknown whether or not this Kerr, too, was wearing a see-through sweater at the time of the proposal.

Taylor Swift stepped out on Wednesday night in a T-shirt reading "no its becky," which is a reference to an inside joke known by only the most dedicated Taylor Swift fans (i.e. us and teenage girls).

Katy Perry dyed her hair "play doe pink" (sic) the other day, citing Animal from the Muppets as her "hairspiration" (below). But as anyone who's familiar with the Muppets will tell you, she clearly looks more like Big Bippadotta.

And finally, in a recent interview with Time Out London, Lindsay Lohan said she'd like to be married, have children, and be "at the Oscars" within the next five years. Unfortunately, that third goal might never come to fruition until the Academy recognizes achievements in the field of "Scary Movie" cameos.