Emilia Clarke reflects on recovering from second brain aneurysm: 'I lost a lot of hope'

Emilia Clarke is reflecting on her long recovery after suffering from not one but two brain aneurysms.

The 33 -year-old "Game of Thrones" actress told Wonderland Magazine that she was fighting for her life but was even more scared that someone would recognize her and expose her illness before she was ready to share it with the world.

'[With] the second one, I lost a lot of hope; I lost a lot of optimism. That’s insane bad luck," she admitted about battling the same diagnosis twice. Clarke had to undergo two life-saving surgeries over the course of eight years.

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"But there I was in a f---ing American hospital with drains coming out of my head, fully swollen, full of all the drugs they give you, and all I could think was, 'Please don’t recognize me, please don’t recognize me, please don’t recognize me,'" Clarke confessed, adding it was the most vulnerable time of life.

The "Last Christmas" star said she battles with fame and how overwhelming it can be when out in public.

"This is where you very quickly sound like a complete f---king d--k because we signed up for this, we asked for this, it’s part of the job," she explained of being an actress.

"And then you’re in a shopping center with your mom who is crying over your recently dead dad and someone comes up and asks you for a picture and you say no and they’re like, 'I expected better from you, I thought more of you than that."

Clarke went on to describe what it felt like to suffer from the brain aneurysms. She said she knew immediately that damage was occurring.

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"As I was throwing up I knew I was being brain-damaged, but I didn’t know how I knew. And I was like, no, f--k this, not today, it’s not happening," she recalled. "I was wiggling fingers and toes, thinking of lines from the season, trying to do everything I could to keep myself conscious because I could feel myself slipping into a coma."

In fact, during her recovery, Clarke's "Game of Thrones" character Daenerys Targaryen helped her overcome her health obstacles. "For me, the show became my escape from all of it. If I was changing, I wasn’t really aware of it. All the change was done for me. Because she did it. Daenerys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons. F---ing Game of F---ing Thrones," she said.

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Following her health battle, the entertainer founded the charity SameYou, which "aims to provide treatment for people recovering from brain injuries and stroke."