Nadia Bokody, who is from Australia, posted a YouTube video on Monday to help husbands navigate their “sex-starved” relationships by giving them the tools they need to get their wives’ sex drive back on track.
Bokody said that, contrary to popular belief, a woman’s lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom is not tied to a declining libido. In fact, she said, it’s likely always because of a lack of interest in their partner.
“Male desire and female desire work in totally different ways,” Bokody said. “Guys expect their female partners to get turned on in the same way and in the same frequency that they do.
“Women get sexually bored a lot faster than men. If sex becomes repetitive, over time that woman will lose interest in having sex with that partner," she said, adding: “Women crave very high amounts of sexual novelty.”
However, the sex-positive journalist said it’s not too late for husbands to save their love lives. Bokody provided a few tips that men could apply in an effort to improve intimacy in the bedroom.
“Women need a lot more time to build up arousal than men do,” she said. “What you can do as a partner is to start the foreplay, not one or two hours before sex but 24 hours.”
Bokody said building excitement and anticipation without being physical is a sure way to get the women in their lives in the mood. One way to do this, she said, is to send text messages throughout the day.
“Recount a sexual encounter and give her little bits of that memory throughout the day. Women love it when you get super descriptive,” she said. “Just as she is leaving to go to work grab her and give her a deep and passionate kiss. It’s very effective at getting women turned on.”
Many of Bokody’s YouTube followers said her advice was quite helpful.
“You have helped me and my wife so much with your advice, thank you,” one person commented.
Other commenters began opening up about their personal battles in the bedroom, like one man who said he “struggled with being predictable.”
One commenter even said: “Sorry I didn't have this available to me 50 years ago.”
Not everyone, however, was impressed by Bokody’s advice. Another commenter expressed doubts that a man’s wife not having sex with him had anything to do with technique.
“It’s because she’s cheating on you, dummy,” the commenter said.