Here's what's happening, people:
Starting on Sunday and continuing into Monday, Paris Hilton has been Instagramming photos from a recent boudoir photoshoot, where she's dressed in little more than a corset-like bodysuit. In the photo below, she also appears to be standing on her bed, which is apparently situated on a cliff over the Hollywood Hills:
Looking for lasting love in 2015? First off, you should resolve to stop dating so many idiots. In the video above, Patti Stanger of Bravo's "Millionaire Matchmaker" shares a whole bunch of advice for weeding out losers. Learn how she identifies — and eliminates — the jerks right off the bat.
Former "Saved By the Bell" actor Dustin Diamond (aka "Screech") was arrested on Friday evening after allegedly stabbing a fellow patron at a bar in Wisconsin (see his mugshot below). Diamond's hearing is scheduled for Monday, where hopefully Zack will bail him out with another one of his wacky schemes.
Miley Cyrus recently tried to share a topless photo to Instagram in support for the #FreeTheNipple campaign, but the social media site quickly deleted it. Don't think that means you won't see Miley's nipples, though. Judging by her passion for the campaign, she's only weeks away from knocking on your door and showing you her naked chest in person.
Apparently not content to collect huge paychecks for simply saying "I am Groot" in his other Marvel franchise, Vin Diesel pretty much confirmed (via the shoddily made Facebook photo below) that he's accepted a role in an upcoming film adaptation of Marvel Comics' "The Inhumans."
Singer/songwriter Alicia Keys and husband Swizz Beats welcomed their second child on Saturday, a boy named Genesis Ali Dean. And that's not nearly as weird as we expected, considering his father is named after a misspelled variety of cheese.
Shorty before Christmas, Jessica Simpson shared the following snapshot of herself on Instagram, showing off her new fringe-y dress, her bold, dark eye shadow, and the calf muscles of a young Usain Bolt.
According to Forbes, Jennifer Lawrence's films have earned more money at this year's box office than any other actor or actress, effectively making her the highest-grossing actor of 2014. However, the title of grossest-grossing actor still belongs to Mr. Michael Gross of "Family Ties." No one can ever take that away from him.
While celebrating her birthday at Disneyland, Christina Aguilera reportedly called the actor playing Mickey Mouse an "a--hole" when he declined a photo with her and her entourage (he was scheduled to take his break). The crew apparently settled on the below photo instead, without that jerkface Mickey anywhere in sight.
And finally, Comedian Chris Rock has reportedly filed for divorce from wife Malaak Compton-Rock after 19 years of marriage. It's not yet known what prompted the split, though we're guessing his wife ate the big piece of chicken before he got home.