Gwyneth Paltrow to start selling vitamins

Gwyneth Paltrow is launching a vitamin line as her website Goop’s latest branding scheme at the same time US sales of dietary supplements soar in the billions.

For the March 27 issue of The New Yorker, writer Sheila Marikar gained access to a Goop meeting about the vitamin line in which it’s revealed that Paltrow’s quietly taken over as Goop CEO after Lisa Gersh left last year.

The actor turned lifestyle guru — whose site sells necessities like a “vaginal muscle-toning egg made of jade” — whines to staffers, “I mean, the board did make me CEO. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my decision.” She says during a debate over whether to refer to her as CEO in a newsletter, “Ugh, you guys are giving me agita.”

The vitamin line includes concoctions with cheeky names like “Why Am I So Effing Tired” and “High School Genes” — which Paltrow says one top Goop exec wanted to name “The FUPA Blaster.” That proclamation leaves one meeting attendee — Dr. Alejandro Junger, a “Uruguayan cardiologist … whose help Paltrow enlisted for her vitamin business” — looking “puzzled,” the piece reports. The erudite mag elegantly describes “FUPA” as “an acronym for a fat upper pubic area; some people substitute a different ‘P’ word.”

When the topic of selling vitamins for intravenous use comes up in the meeting, Paltrow muses, “I think mainlining vitamins might be going a bit far, even for us.”

This article originally appeared in Page Six.