Updated

Here's what's happening out there:

Probably because she thinks we've been paying too much attention to her chest and not enough attention to her backside (for real), "Modern Family" actress Sofia Vergara re-tweeted an old modeling photo where she's displaying her favorite asset in a wet dress (below). Let's all acknowledge it before she gets too needy, OK?

Cooking Channel's Eden Grinshpan knows how to eat, so when she approached us with her signature meatball recipe, we listened. Watch the video above to see how Eden prepares this classic Italian dish.

Ireland Baldwin Instagrammed a near-nude modeling photo in which she's kneeling amid some hay bales (below), maybe because that's some kind of fantasy among male farmers who maintain social media sites.

On Monday, "Good Morning America" previewed Taylor Swift's new single "Out of the Woods" (listen below) which Swift says is about one of her previous go-nowhere relationships. But at this point, Swift has more songs about relationships than she's had relationships, so who knows what to believe anymore.

Speaking of Swift, John Cleese made fun of her cat while she was sitting right next to him on a recent episode of "The Graham Norton Show." He called it "the weirdest cat I've ever seen in my life," thus providing Taylor Swift with enough material for ten more albums' worth of passive aggressive pop songs.

Esquire magazine has named Penelope Cruz as the Sexiest Woman Alive for 2014 (below). So now, the editors at Esquire will presumably get started on the annual dirty task of killing the previous year's honoree, lest there be two sexiest women alive roaming the Earth at the same time.

On Friday, a man emerged from beneath a NYC sidewalk grate and smoke-bombed actress Rose McGowan, only to disappear back below the grates. The perpetrator has yet to be caught, but police should be wary: This man hates the show "Charmed" more than he hates living in the rat-infested underbelly of NYC. He clearly doesn't give a damn.

On Sunday at the Hamptons International Film Festival, Hilary Swank arrived for the premiere of her new film "The Homesman" wearing a striking cut-out dress that showcased her tight stomach, probably because it's hard to generate interest in a film called "The Homesman."

It was recently announced that Jim Carrey will be hosting "Saturday Night Live" later this month, but don't get too excited: He's probably prohibited from resurrecting his Vera De Milo character from "In Living Color," so we're likely to get a bunch of half-funny "Dumb and Dumber" allusions instead.

Troubled actress Amanda Bynes recently accused her father of physically abusing her, then took it all back claiming that a "microchip in [her] brain" made her say those things. So watch out, microchip industry. You may have a lawsuit on your hands.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell recently tried to tweet a congratulatory message to Nobel Prize-winner Malala Yousafzai, but due to an autocorrect mishap, she ended up congratulating malaria instead. But maybe we're the ones who are interpreting that wrong, and Campbell really was recognizing malaria for its efforts to further female education in Pakistan. Guess we'll never know.

After announcing her pregnancy just a few weeks ago, Blake Lively has already thrown herself a baby shower. Well, maybe she didn't throw it, but it looks to have been hosted by a similarly stylish home-making individual with the same taste in picturesque desserts and wholesome group activities.

And finally, George Clooney took a break from his honeymoon to make an appearance at New York Comic-Con last week, because by now, he's no longer pretending that his whole life isn't one huge honeymoon.