Jessica Simpson's Birthday Ensemble and Simone De La Rue's Five-Minute Workout

Here's everything that's happening:

On Sunday, a skinny-as-ever Jessica Simpson sported dark red lipstick to husband Eric Johnson's 35th birthday party (below), as well as a lacy, see-through skirt (pictures here). And if this is how she dresses to celebrate Eric's birthday, let's hope this guy has a birthday every year, amirite?

Speaking of super skinny, celebrity trainer Simone De La Rue knows how to sculpt a hot bod like Simpson's. Watch the video above for Simone's signature five-minute workout, and learn how to tone up your legs, thighs, butt, abs and arms just like the celebs!

In order to help clear himself of copyright infringement, Robin Thicke remarked in a deposition that he was "too high on Vicodin and alcohol" to have assisted with the writing of "Blurred Lines," and in doing so, has also cleared himself of any discernible songwriting talent.

On Monday, an extremely leggy Taylor Swift stepped out in New York City with her very first love: a pair of high-waisted, thigh-showcasing shorts. Funny, we always knew those two would end up together.

In a recent interview with The Telegraph, Lindsay Lohan said she once handled Whitney Houston's bodybag during a community service gig at a Los Angeles morgue. And despite this being an obvious lie, the L.A. Coroner's Office has since contradicted her claims.

Former "90210" actor Luke Perry will be joining the newest incarnation of the "CSI" series, called "CSI: Cyber." He'll be playing FBI agent Nick Dalton, and he'll probably have long sideburns, a penchant for riding classic motorcycles, and a bad attitude (that hides his softer, more intelligent side). Or so we hope.

Kate Middleton's morning sickness might keep her from jetting to Malta for a royal trip on behalf of the queen. If doctors determine she's unfit to travel, she'll just have to stay put in her palatial, newly-renovated Kensington Palace apartment while William goes to work in her stead. But such is the life of a princess!

On Monday, Lionsgate released the first official trailer for "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 1," which takes only slightly longer to watch than it does to pronounce. Check it out below:

George Clooney will accept the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the upcoming Golden Globes ceremony in January, no doubt fatter and more slovenly than ever, seeing as he'll have been married for a few whole months by then.

Former "Saved by the Bell" actress Tiffani Thiessen told an online magazine that she's "definitely trying" for a second child, probably because she doesn't want daughter Harper to experience "only child syndrome," or as she calls it, "Screech" syndrome.

In one of her last ever recordings — an ad for an off-Broadway play — Joan Rivers can be heard coughing, remarking that her voice is bothering her, and saying "I don't feel good." It's chilling audio, for sure, but you shouldn't let that distract you from the fact that this play sounds horrible, too.

On Saturday in New York, "Scorpion" star and former "American Idol" contestant Katharine McPhee wore an ombre dress to match her ombre lob, so it would be really funny to call her an ombre mess or an ombre slob, but unfortunately, she looked rather decent.

And finally, Starbucks is reportedly testing out a new, slightly smaller "mini" size (10 oz.) for their Frappucinos, presumably for customers who want to feel slightly less worse about themselves for drinking a caramel and pumpkin frappe before noon.