Here's what's happening, people:
"Walking Dead" star Lauren Cohan posed for a sultry photoshoot with GQ magazine, posing in a swimsuit, a bodysuit, and what appears to be a wet t-shirt (below). Cohan also participated in their "How to Date Me" featurette, which, surprisingly, didn't reveal her affinity for dudes with terrific crossbow aim.
Speaking of hot dishes (see what we did there?), nothing satisfies like a hearty bowl of pasta, and it doesn't get much heartier than a big plate of country-style rigatoni à la Carmine's restaurant in NYC. Check out the video above to see how chef Glenn Rolnick prepares their signature dish.
Ashton Kutcher and Kila Kunis have named their newborn baby girl Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher, which makes a ton of sense if they're hoping she grows up to be a gunfighter in the Arizona Territory circa 1881.
On Thursday night in Beverly Hills, "Shameless" actress Emmy Rossum wore a plunging black dress to the Claiborne Swanson Frank's Young Hollywood Book Launch, presumably after she figured out what the heck that was.
According to his lawyer, former "SNL" and "30 Rock" funnyman Tracy Morgan may never perform again due to the injuries he sustained in his June automobile accident. From now on, we may just have to imagine his Astronaut Jones character objectifying female space aliens.
Earlier this week, Miranda Kerr Instagrammed a photo of her own rear-end from the set of a recent photoshoot, perhaps because she took the term "behind-the-scenes" a tad too literally.
In other pretty-people news, "Guardians of the Galaxy" actress Zoe Saldana revealed on Wednesday that she and her husband Marco Perego are expecting twins, apparently because God saw how attractive they both are and figured the world wouldn't mind a few more.
Supermodels Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel and Lais Ribeiro posed for a topless Victoria's Secret photoshoot in the November issue of British Vogue, no doubt driving up demand for Victoria's Secret's new line of drapery-length skirts that double as picnic tablecloths:
Prince William and Kate Middleton are reportedly taking legal action against one specific photographer for "harassing and following both Prince George and his nanny." But before they proceed with any lawsuits, we'd like to address the Duke and Duchess: We're sorry. It'll never happen again, OK?
After posting a bikini photo earlier this week, Kylie Jenner Instagrammed yet another bikini photo (below), this time from even farther away from any actual body of water. We expect her next swimsuit photo to be shot in the drive-thru lane of a Fatburger in Burbank.
On Wednesday night's episode of "The Tonight Show," Jennifer Garner jokingly theorized that she wasn't invited to George Clooney's wedding because she had contracted head lice from her kids right before they first met, and didn't make a good impression. Or perhaps that's just what she tells herself so she can sleep at night.
Sometime over the past week, Kristin Cavallari chopped a bunch of her hair off into a lob. But it's actually a little bit longer than a lob, so we're gonna start calling it a llob, with a double-L (and pronounced yob, to avoid any future confusion).
Taylor Swift will be debuting a new fragrance called Incredible Things in the coming month, and if it doesn't reek of baked goods and the unmistakeable stench of cats, it will be a sore misrepresentation of the Swift brand.
And finally, Lady Gaga recently got herself a new upper-back tattoo of a lace-gloved hand, which she displayed on Instagram in the most roundabout, butt-flaunting way possible: