Tuesday night's Britney Spears-themed "Glee" left us with one big question: Who was better, Britney or Brittany?
The episode kicks off with the glee club clamoring to perform Britney Spears' songs, but Will isn't interested. Spears' sexy tunes aren't appropriate for high school. Christopher Cross, anyone?
Brittany is also against the idea. She reveals that her full name is actually Brittany S. Pierce, which sounds like the pop idol's name -- at least if you say it fast. She's lived her whole life in Britney's shadow.
But when Emma's handsome new dentist boyfriend, Carl (John Stamos), begins putting the gleeks under anesthesia, they all start having vivid fantasies casting themselves as Britney. Brittany in particular makes a great Spears, carrying the big snake like a pro.
Emma urges Will to reconsider his anti-Britney stance and accuses him of being too uptight. As Will is still pining for Emma -- who seems to prefer the decidedly less uptight Carl -- he begins to come around to the Britney idea. He also buys the same exact Corvette that Carl has (which doesn't impress Emma in the slightest).
Artie is also still pining for Tina, who's too busy enjoying Mike Chang's abs to really notice. But he makes some progress when Coach Beiste decides to allow Finn to rejoin the football team -- along with Artie.
Finn's thrilled to be back on the team, but insecure Rachel wants him to choose between her and football. She wants to be the only thing that makes Finn happy, or as she puts it, "The only way this relationship is going to work is if we're both losers."
Inspired by Britney, Rachel decides to parade down the halls in a sexy schoolgirl costume right out of "... Baby One More Time." She's also trying to loosen up -- perhaps too much so. We'll spare you the effect it has on Jacob.
Britney herself makes several appearances, looking very hot (as the gleeks point out more than once) and delivering a couple of great lines ("Ranch dressing is delicious on pizza; you should try it.").
Sue thinks that Britney is a "gateway drug" for the hormonal teenagers and tries to put a stop to the performance. As Will, Rachel, and the gang begin to perform "Toxic," Jacob goes a little too wild, sparking a "Britney Spears sex riot." Sue rings the fire alarm, causing even more mayhem and allegedly rupturing her spinal column. She threatens to sue Will, whom she rightfully accuses of wearing "more vests than the cast of 'Blossom.' "
Rachel asks Quinn to pretend to hit on Finn, and when he turns her down, Rachel realizes that she's been wrong to try to control him. She serenades him with Paramore's "The Only Exception" -- the only exception to the all-Britney show.