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Instead of carving duck calls and shipping orders at Duck Commander headquarters, the crew on A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” were busy spending their time on the Internet--a lot of their time on the Internet--- fiddling with their phones and tablets. But ever on top of things, CEO Willie Robertson had wisened to their ways.
“I shut it down,” WIllie told the crew of installing a firewall to block Facebook, Twitter and MySpace on the Wi-Fi at the warehouse. “I did a little research and I found out all the crap y’all been lookin’ at.”
“How we supposed to do anything?” asked Jep. “Yeah, what’s the password?” inquired Godwin.
“Get back to work,” answered Willie.
“Is that capitalized?” deadpanned Godwin.
“It’s not the password,” said a frustrated Willie. “It means, ‘Get back to work.’”
The Duck Commander crew took Willie’s order as something of a challenge, and took it upon themselves to introduce Uncle Si to the wonders of YouTube, one of the few website that Willie forgot to block.
“Trying to explain technology to Si. It’s impossible,” said Jase. “This would be like teaching calculus to a bunch of toddlers. The only difference here is that you can send the toddler to his room and he will leave you alone for a while.”
Nevertheless, Uncle Si was quite taken with the video sharing site. “Look, I could really get into this YouTube,” he explained. “They got everything on this thing. They got flaming goats, sneezing pandas, double complete rainbows, all the way. Charlie bit my finger–pow, pow, wham! Where’s the Internet been all my life?”
“You have to be extremely careful when introducing Si to new technology,” warned Jase. “He becomes obsessed with new fads. It’s like eating potato chips: Once you crunch on one, you’re ready for the next one.”
Uncle Si was so enthralled with YouTube that he decided to share some of his many talents with a series of “instructional videos.”
“Look here, people need to be taught everything,” reasoned Uncle Si. “How to walk, to talk, how to eat a hard shelled taco without all the good stuff falling out, tea refills, bathroom breaks, how to ‘Dougie,’ OK?”
Eventually, Uncle Si settled on making an instructional golf video.
“Si, you don’t play golf,” noted Jase. “Since when have you become a professional golf instructor?”
“Hey, I worked as chief greenskeeper for three years,” countered Uncle Si. “I don’t need wooden teeth to teach about George Washington.”
“That actually makes sense,” agreed Martin.
Armed with an old video camera, the Duck Commander crew headed over to the local driving range to film Uncle Si’s “instructional video.” Uncle Si took his role seriously, emerging from the club house sporting a bright yellow vest worn over his camouflage shirt, plaid pants and argyle socks.
“Look here,” Uncle Si said of his getup. “The first step in instructing, you’ve got to look the part. Some people might say I look goofy, but what I say is I look like a professional golf instructor.”
Across town, Willie was dealing with the aftermath of his son John Luke totaling his truck.
“John Luke, I prayed this day would never come,” said Willie upon seeing his smashed pickup.
“Yes, Sir. It’s a bad deal for everybody,” replied a contrite John Luke.
At the Chevrolet dealership, Korie and Jessica have to leave for manicure and pedicure appointments, so they leave Jessica’s kids with Willie as he waits to pick up a loaner truck.
“Hey, I love kids, and kids love me,” reasoned Willie. “This will be fun.”
Instead, the kids attacked him with a toy sword, spilled ice cream all over the loaner truck, which happened to be a brand-new 2014 Silverado, and generally wreck havoc on the short ride back to Miss Kay’s house.
As always, Willie managed to put things in perspective.
“Part of being a parent means letting your kids make their own mistakes,” reflected Willie. “Handing over your car keys to your teenager is never easy, and hearing that they’ve had an accident is even harder. And though you may want to be mad at them, the truth is, you’re just thankful that they’re OK. Because possessions like my truck are just things, even if they are awesome, one-of-a-kind, mud-digging things. And things are replaceable. Family isn’t.”