Darrien and Ryan Seqqoÿa don’t have what anyone would likely call a traditional relationship, but they say it works for them.
Darrien, a female meditation guide, first met Ryan, a male music producer, back in September 2018 on a dating app for “mindful people.” The two San Diegans soon agreed to meet and they “fell in love right away,” according to Darrien.
Darrien, however, said she wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend when she and Ryan connected, she told the South West News Service (SWNS).
“I originally downloaded the app to talk to girls, but before I changed my preferences, Ryan’s face popped up,” she told the outlet, adding that she made sure to let him know of her preferences on their first date.
“On our first night together, I told him that I had just got out of a relationship with a couple and that I didn’t want to limit myself to a relationship with just one person,” said Darrien, 23.
Darrien further clarified on the pair’s YouTube page that she doesn’t consider herself bisexual, either, because her preferences are harder to define.
“A term that resonates the most is ‘sexually fluid,’” she said in a video shared earlier this month, adding that she also likes to describe her preferences as “polyamory-ish.”
To her relief, Ryan, 27, told he was also sexually “fluid” on their first date.
“We decided to be in an open relationship and that we were going to see each other and other people too,” Darrien said.
They soon got married in a “spiritual ceremony” — as opposed to a legal one — only two months after meeting, celebrating their nuptials in the Sequoia National Forest in California, on a blanket covered in pinecones and crystals. (They also derived their new shared surname from the name of the forest where they were “married.”)
Then, in July, Darrien met a woman named Beth on Tinder, and the two started dating. She’s also introduced Ryan to Beth, but they’re not quite a “throuple” — Beth herself is in another relationship with a man.
Ryan, meanwhile, admitted that he does “feel jealous” from time to time, but said he’s always able to work through it. And in those times, he reminds himself that he and Darrien — and Darrian and Beth — are practicing a “free and open love.” Ryan also told SWNS he doesn’t have time for another relationship right now, but hopes to one day have his own boyfriend or girlfriend.
Darrien and Ryan are now also documenting their relationship on YouTube, explaining the finer points of their lifestyle, their “spiritual marriage,” and even their sexual fluidity.
“It’s finally time to just be who we are, to accept the gift that God has given us, which is the ability to love infinitely in all directions,” Ryan says in the couple’s latest video.
“We’re not choosing this lifestyle because there’s any ‘lack thereof’ between us. I feel like we are whole, it’s not a piece of us that’s missing that needs to be filled by somebody else. We are whole, and we also just like want to add more on top of the abundance that already is.”
Darrien and Ryan added that they would recommend their lifestyle for anyone unsure of entering into a monogamous relationship, as it immediately rules out the stigma of “cheating” on a spouse or partner.
“Most mammals are polyamorous,” Darrien added.