The anonymous woman, who shared her story to the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum at Mumsnet, said she was aware her now-husband had a habit of drinking to excess — albeit an infrequent one — so she had asked him before the wedding to refrain from getting drunk.
“It's something we discussed before … so he agreed not to get really drunk and seemed fine with this,” she wrote in her Mumsnet post. “He also knows he upsets me when he's like that,” she added, saying that he has always apologized in the past, even though “he can never remember what he actually did.”
According to the woman, the groom kept disappearing during the reception, only to be found hanging out with his friends. Because of this, she kept having to retrieve him to say goodbye to some of the guests, and he “missed lots of people leaving.”
She claims she wasn’t fully aware of her husband’s condition until it was time to leave, when she realized he’d “clearly continued drinking.” The couple then went back to their hotel in a taxi, even though the driver initially refused to transport the groom unless he hung his head out the window for the duration of the ride.
“We then got to the hotel and he couldn't remember how to get to our room,” she added. And once inside, he allegedly passed out on the bed instead of helping his new wife take her dress off.
“What was worse was the way he looked at me when I said I needed him to help, realistically I know it was the effort of the dress that he was thinking of[,] but the look of disgust on his face at helping me won't leave my mind,” she said.
“I was really looking forward to us having a drink in the room and talking about our day especially as we hadn't seen each other much apart from photos,” she added.
But now, six weeks after the wedding, the bride says she’s still “struggling with this being the final memories of our wedding day,” and also “struggling to forgive” her husband.
“I spent my wedding night in tears on the sofa in our hotel room,” she said.
Commenters were largely sympathetic to the woman’s woes, with some sharing their own less-than-ideal wedding stories, or slamming the groom for his behavior.
“How old is he? He sounds about 19 carrying on like that,” said one commenter.
“Nothing less attractive than a man who doesn't know when he's had enough to drink,” added another.
“I spent my wedding night with another member of my family as my ex was another binge drinking idiot,” said yet another critic. “Personally, I’m not sure you should be trying to get over this… I suspect he’s not going to stop.”
Others said it was possible to forgive the groom, especially if he was apologetic.
“I know countless happy marriages which have started with a very, very drunk groom,” one Mumsnet user wrote. “The point is that he needs to [apologize] and he needs to know what he's done wrong. Do you think he does?”
“It's the biggest party of both of your lives with all your friends and family together in the same place with probably a relatively large bill to pay at the end of it; you have your whole lives together, let him enjoy the most expensive party you both will ever throw,” said another commenter who admitted to “going against the grain” with the advice.
The bride, meanwhile, has yet to confirm whether or not she plans to forgive and, maybe one day, forget.
“My worry is that if he can't stick to something which was important for me on our wedding how likely is he to do it another time?” she asked in her post.