10 Ways to Become a Better Lover

There’s no doubt about it: Sex is more satisfying and fulfilling when both you and your partner are thoroughly enjoying it. You don’t have to turn to tantric sex or read the Kama Sutra in order to rock her world in bed. In fact, there are some very simple things that every man can do to step up his game when it comes to pleasuring his lady.

Here is AskMen’s list of the top 10 simple ways to become a better lover.

10. Clean yourself up
Our natural scents are part of what attracts us to each other, but no one wants to get busy with a guy who reeks of body odor. Maintaining good hygiene in general is a good idea, but especially so when sex is on the horizon. If at all possible, have a shower or at least give your undercarriage a quick rinse before you slip between the sheets. She’s more likely to want to get near you if you smell and taste clean and fresh. Also, don’t forget to keep your hair down there neat and trimmed.

9. Talk
Communication may be the most important aspect of good lovemaking. Ask her what she wants, how she feels and how you could possibly improve your skills. Starting up a conversation about sex can be excellent foreplay as well if you start sharing your fantasies and turn-ons with each other.

8. Slow down
Quickies have their place, but most often a woman will appreciate you slowing down and taking the time to really get her in the mood, while also giving her room to reach orgasm at her own pace.

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If you need a little help putting on the brakes, Durex® Performax™ condoms, which contain a special lube called Benzocaine, will work wonders for you by allowing you to control your climax and give her the time she needs to catch up with you.

7. Master the basics
Before you get into experimenting with new positions, techniques or scenarios, make sure you’ve mastered the basics. Don’t take for granted that you’re hitting the right spot in the missionary position, for example. Do your homework and find out what has worked for others, then try it with your girl. Of course, the best way to perfect your performance is to ask for her feedback directly.

6. Don’t pressure her
A good lover knows the difference between proposing new and exciting things in the bedroom and pressuring his partner into doing something she doesn’t want to do. Pushing each other’s boundaries in bed can be exhilarating and rewarding, but you must learn to recognize when no means no. Trying to force her into something that doesn’t turn her on will very quickly kill the mood.


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5. Make time
Spontaneity is an essential part of any good sex life, but so is planning. Setting aside some time to enjoy each other in the bedroom and leaving all distractions at the door could result in some mind-blowing sex and an excellent opportunity to increase your intimacy. It’s not necessary to pencil it in to both of your schedules; just let her know on a particular evening or morning that you’d like to spend some quality time in bed with her.

4. Use props
Props like toys, lubes and massage oils can make your sex life better if both of you are comfortable using them. You don’t have to rely solely on your own body parts for pleasure-giving. Durex® has a wide variety of massagers, lubricants and textured condoms that can take your next encounter to a new level. Try the Play Warmer lube, which creates a warming sensation that gets more intense when you blow on it gently.

3. Don't hesitate
A woman always loves a compliment. So if your partner is looking good, let her know. Your words of praise will help get her in the mood. You could also show your appreciation for her beauty without using any words at all. An unexpected passionate kiss can really get things started

2. Pay attention to all her erogenous zones
Don’t limit yourself to her breasts and the area between her legs when it comes to giving her pleasure. They may be the most obvious of her sensitive spots, but there are other erogenous zones on a woman’s body that beg to be spoiled. Pay a little attention to her earlobes, the back of her knees, her inner thighs, her feet, and, of course, her mouth.

1. Be unselfish
Every once in a while, a good lover will devote all of his attention to his partner’s pleasure without thought of reciprocation. Naturally, you don’t want to make a habit of one-sided stimulation, but treating her to a night that’s totally about her satisfaction will make her feel special and show her that you truly want to make her happy. The added bonus is that she will probably want to return the favor one night in the future.