Jessica Simpson's Daisy Dukes, Niccole Trzaska's Avión Cherry Smash, and Much, Much More

Here's what's going on:

In the latest promotional campaign for her spring/summer collection, Jessica Simpson modeled a pair of super-short denim shorts (below), invoking memories of her turn as Daisy Duke in the 2005's "Dukes of Hazard" remake, and just generally reminding everyone of how crappy the rest of that movie was.

Any bartender can serve you a shot of tequila, but it takes a true mixologist like Niccole Trzaska of The Liberty in NYC to make a great tequila cocktail. Check out our video above to watch as Trzaska whips up her latest creation, the Avión Cherry Smash. (Or for the full recipe.)

Last Friday, Carrie Underwood and husband Mike Fisher welcomed their first child, a boy named Isaiah Michael. The couple held off until Tuesday to share a photo online (below), perhaps because they were waiting for the exact right picture of Isaiah's knuckles. But we think you'll agree, it was well worth it. Just look at those adorable knuckles!

On Tuesday, Kim Kardashian revealed Kendall and Kylie Jenner as the latest digital characters in her "Kim Kardashian: Hollywood" mobile game. However, Kim still hasn't given players what they really want: the option of encountering a digital Rob Kardashian. (Listen to the people, Kim!)

Kim's other sis Khloe flaunted a surprising set of "baby abs" on Instagram the other day (below), remarking in the caption that she plans to continue training until she sees more muscles — but such is the luxury of rich people. Also the luxury of rich people? Crystal tissue dispensers:

In related news, Khloe is reportedly gunning for Kelly Osbourne's recently vacated seat on "Fashion Police." We think it's a perfect fit, if only because she has nearly the same irrelevant fashion credentials as Osbourne (i.e. coming from a famous family; starring with said family on a reality TV show; frequently wearing clothes; etc). It's like this job was made for her!

On Monday evening, Taylor Swift spent 20 minutes chatting (via Facetime) with a 4-year-old fan suffering from terminal brain cancer. But if you need further evidence that Taylor Swift is going to a better heaven than any of us will ever see, a San Antonio news outlet has footage of the call: 

According to Britain's Daily Mail, Vogue editor Anna Wintour is trying to ban babies from attending designer fashion shows because she was "disgust[ed]" by North West's recent outburst at New York Fashion Week. If successful, babies the world over will have Wintour to thank for not being bored out of their skulls.

According to director Roland Emmerich, a sequel to his 1996 blockbuster "Independence Day" is officially happening, with "Hunger Games" actor Liam Hemsworth set for a new role and Jeff Goldblum reprising his original role. That last bit isn't all that much of a shock, though. We could've guessed Goldblum would take the work as soon as we saw his light bulb commercial:

As reported by TMZ, Chris Brown has fathered a 9-month-old girl with a former model named Nia. The two reportedly have no intentions of a romantic relationship, but will presumably raise the child as friends. In that way, they're kinda like the parental figures in "Look Who's Talking." Only in this case, they had sex first.

On Friday, a fan at one of Britney Spears' Las Vegas concerts filmed her hair extensions falling out mid-song (below). But Britney shouldn't be too upset; much of the population suffers from their hair falling out mid-life, and it's a much longer, more depressing process than Britney's latest wardrobe malfunction could ever hope to eclipse.

And finally, the star of Disney's live-action "Cinderella" film has responded to rumors that her waist was Photoshopped for promotional materials, insisting that a corset was used to further slim her naturally small waist. And now that that's settled, viewers can go back to believing that a woman with rat friends rode in a pumpkin to a fairytale ball, without any unrealistic Photoshopping to distract them from the realism.