Surefire ways to get kicked off a plane

We all know by now that stupid comments like joking about bombs can get you booted from your flight. But it turns out that plenty of other things can you tossed, as well.  From taking pictures to wearing your politics on your sleeve (literally) --here are things you should avoid if you want to make it to your destination on time.

1. Take a picture

Once inside the plane, policies vary on taking pictures, depending on the airline.  Some will allow snaps, but only of your friends, family and fellow passengers.  Other carriers say no pictures at all. Generally the “no photos” rule exists to eliminate the chance someone is doing surveillance.

Booted:  Recently, Mathew Klint on a United Airlines flight from New York to Istanbul, was ejected after taking pictures of the cabin with his iPhone.  Klint says he was writing a review of the business class service.  The cabin crew told him that photos or video was prohibited without getting permission first.

2. Wear offensive clothing

That irreverent t-shirt with the swear words might help you pick up the chicks in Bushwick, Brooklyn.  But TSA and airline staff vet people for clothing that may make passengers nervous or upset.  And it doesn’t have to be just swear words.

Booted: In August, a 31-year old PhD student was prevented from boarding his plane to Buffalo by Delta Airline staff and TSA agents for wearing a t-shirt mocking the Department of Homeland Security.  The red t-shirt featured a mock-up of the Department of Homeland Security’s seal, surrounded with phrases such as “Bombs ZOMG,” “ZOMG Terrorists” and “Alert level bloodred — run, run take off your shoes.”

3. Don’t shower

Skip the soap and you could be skipping your flight.

Booted: In 2010, an American man on an Air Canada Jazz flight to Montreal was kicked off the plane because of his strong body odor after passengers complained about a foul-smelling odor. An airline spokeswoman said that "the safety and comfort of our passengers and crew are our top priorities."

4. Board with a squirming kid

Travelling with kids can be a nightmare, especially if they’re tired, hungry or out of sorts.  While it’s hard to predict if they’ll act up, boarding with a kid in mid-tantrum is risky.  Bottom line, if you can’t get them to buckle up, be prepared to catch the next flight.

Booted: Last year Alaska Airlines ordered a screaming, squirming toddler, and his parents, off a plane over Memorial Day weekend when he would not stay buckled in his seat.

5. Refuse to turn off your gadgets

Love it or hate it, rules are rules. If you blatantly refuse to turn off your mobile device, like an iPad, cell phone or Kindle during take-off and landing, especially when asked by a flight attendant, you will get kicked off.

Booted: Actor Alec Baldwin was famously tossed from an American Airlines’ flight for refusing to stop playing the interactive game Words With Friends, when instructed by an American Airlines flight attendant to shut down electronic devices. Angry his game was stopped in mid-play, he went into the toilet where he tried to continue playing the scrabble-like app.

6. Be too fat

“Customer of size” policies in the U.S. vary depending on the carrier, but most airlines’ rules state that if you can’t comfortably fit into a single seat with the arm rests down – you’ll need to buy two seats, or else.

Booted:  In 2010,  Hollywood director Kevin Smith (Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy) was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight from Oakland to Burbank because the airline said he couldn’t fit in the seat. Smith actually purchased two seats to comply with Southwest’s seating policy, but then took an earlier flight which had only one seat left.

7. Try to join the mile high club

Frisky business on a plane can be risky business.   Not only can you be ejected from the plane, you may even be charged with public indecency.

Booted: “The L Word” star Leisha Hailey was escorted off a Southwest Airlines flight after what she said was simply kissing her girlfriend onboard. Hailey claims she was discriminated against.  Southwest say other passengers were complaining about her “excessive” behavior.

8. Have a coughing fit

It's embarrassing enough to have an uncontrollable coughing fit, but worse when it happens on a plane. Not only is everyone looking at you wondering if you'll give them some contagious disease, but you may be deemed to risky to fly.

Booted:  A16-year-old girl on a school trip was taken off a plane after suffering from a bout of the coughs. The flight attendants gave her water, and a doctor on the flight said she would be OK, but the captain returned the aircraft to the gate to drop off the girl and one of her teachers.