This is what's happening out there, everybody:
Jessica Simpson debuted a new ad for her signature fragrance (below), and just like the perfume itself, it's airy, woodsy, and probably most effective when centered around Jessica Simpson's cleavage. (There's a whole lot of cleavage in this ad, is what we're saying).
Now that we all feel sufficiently worse about our own bodies (thanks, Jessica), it might be time to consider a new workout. Watch the video above to see how Jackie Dragone of Flex Fitness tones and strengthens her core in four simple moves.
Kim Kardashian Instagrammed a photo from her latest Mexican vacation, the focal point of which is her ample butt in a bikini (below). Because to hell with Mexico's incomparable scenery and world-renowned landmarks! Her followers can hop on a plane and see that stuff themselves.
Lindsay Lohan told the Daily Mail that she's planning to stretch her upcoming memoir into a trilogy, probably because even she's aware that Lindsay Lohan is not done doing crazy stuff to write about.
Don Pardo, the golden-voiced announcer of "Saturday Night Live" who managed to stretch Kevin Nealon's name into five syllables, died on Monday at his home in Tuscon, Arizona. He was 96.
Demi Moore gave her daughter Rumer Willis a birthday cake in the shape of a gun (below), possibly obtained through some kind of Cake Boss who also moonlights as mafia boss on the side.
Former Batman actor Christian Bale and his wife Sibi became parents to their second child — a little BatBoy — on Monday. Here's hoping he's not nearly as hideous or mischievous as the BatBoy discovered in a West Virginia cave (as reported by the Weekly World News) back in '92.
The Screen Actors Guild is planning to honor Debbie Reynolds with the Lifetime Achievement Award at the SAG Awards in January — or so they say. We're pretty sure this is just a rumor they started to throw off the award's actual recipient, Meryl Streep.
On Monday afternoon, Taylor Swift debuted her latest song and music video for "Shake It Off" (below). It couldn't possibly be less country, but we're betting that won't stop her upcoming album from winning all the awards at this year's ACMs, CMAs and AMAs.
Speaking of Swift, she also eschewed pants on Monday, instead opting for the comfort and freedom of an oversized flannel shirt-dress. Or, as we've decided to call it, a Snuggie with buttons.
Once he's fulfilled his duties to the "The Late Late Show," host Craig Ferguson will possibly begin hosting an evening talk show at the much earlier hour of 7 p.m. But despite his new time slot, viewers will still have to decide between watching Ferguson or a rerun of "Seinfeld."
Now that Nicole Kidman has a new haircut (and hair color), she and husband Keith Urban are slowly becoming each other's doppelganger. It's only a matter of time before they ask us to begin referring to him/her as Nikeith Kurbman.
Katy Perry shared a video of herself goofing around at a water park while on a break from her Prism tour, but the whole thing feels like a flimsy excuse to show us her amazing bikini body (near the end of the clip, below). Either that, or that idiot near the back just wanted to show off his new "YOLO" sunglasses:
Fresh off her cheating scandal with her former "Smash" director, Katharine McPhee was spotted kissing her co-star on the set of her new show "Scorpion." So if you, too, want a shot with McPhee, start working on a pitch for an hour-long network television series that starts with an S, and just sit around and wait until "Scorpion" gets canceled.
And finally, a Japanese designer named Akihiro Mizuuchi has begun crafting chocolate Lego sets, which are not only functional as toys but completely edible. He's also begun to make us feel kind of stupid for eating all those inedible Legos as kids.