Troy Aikman is selling 'fire suites,' which are exactly what they sound like

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Former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman still makes a pretty penny hanging out in the broadcast booth, but that doesn't mean he's without some off-field business ventures.

And one of them has me extremely upset.

Not because it's bad, but because I didn't think of it.

Former NFL quarterback and current broadcaster Troy Aikman is a shareholder in live entertainment company Venu. (© Jay Biggerstaff-Imagn Images)

Do you like concerts? Of course you do.

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Do you like sitting around a fire with some pals? Who doesn't?!

Well, what if you could sit around a fire at a concert, and all it would cost you is $480,000 for a suite with four seats and a fire pit, but you can rent it out for some sweet, sweet (suite?) passive income?

Now you can with a genuine "Luxe Fire Suite" from the folks at Venu... who run venues.

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Take it away, Troy!

I am so disappointed in myself.

The last time I went to a concert, I had the chance to say, "Hey, what if there were a bunch of fires in the audience like it's Woodstock '99, but we toned it down so it's nothing like Woodstock '99, and we charge people about half a million dollars and up for it."

That's why I'm just a very handsome writer and not an entrepreneur.

But good for Troy for throwing his money behind this endeavor, because I think it's brilliant.

ESPN commentator Troy Aikman walks the field before the NFL game between the Kansas City Chiefs and Washington Commanders at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Mo., on Oct. 27, 2025. (Brooke Sutton/Getty Images)

We've had fire since the first caveman rubbed two sticks together as a goof and accidentally became one of history's greatest visionaries.

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Now, someone is taking his idea and running with it, and they've got Troy Aikman giving it his stamp of approval.

People will eat this up.

Taylor Swift probably would have loved a fire pit in her suite at Chiefs games. (Ed Zurga/AP)

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Think how much you can one-up someone who owns a suite that you can't light a fire in?

"...Oh, you have a suite as well, eh? Tell me, where is the fire pit in yours? ...Ah, I'm sorry, I was under the impression you also had a genuine Venu brand Luxe Fire Suite. Well, we all need something to aspire to. Uh, Jeeves, another round of cognac, please. Here's to open flames at concerts..."