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America Ferrera wasn't able to enjoy one of her career's biggest moments.
In 2007, Ferrera bagged an Emmy for her performance in "Ugly Betty," becoming the first Latina to win the award for outstanding lead actress in a comedy series.
While the win was historic, Ferrera said that self-doubt made it difficult to appreciate the moment.
In a chat with Dax Shepard on his podcast, "Armchair Expert," the 36-year-old star recounted the evening of her win.
America Ferrera won an Emmy in 2007 for her role in 'Ugly Betty.' (AP, File)
"When I won the Emmy, I can't bring myself to go back and watch that because the only thing I remember about being on that stage, accepting that Emmy, was the feeling that no one in the room thought I deserved it," Ferrera said. "And that's a shame."
Ferrera recalled feeling that people thought: "She doesn’t really deserve that."
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"'What is she really doing in that role? That role is not interesting enough, it's not dark enough, it's not edgy enough,'" the actress said she assumed people thought. "Like, you know, all of the bulls--t of like, 'Oh, she got it is because it's a good story, not because she deserves it.'"
Despite any doubt or backlash, the actress would go on to win the Golden Globe and Screen Actor's Guild Award for the same category.
Ferrera said that she had people in her life that reinforced those ideas as well.
"There were people in my life perpetuating those narratives and making me feel like I hadn't earned this moment," the "Ugly Betty" star said. "When I look back at that time, my heart aches for that 22-year-old girl, who didn't get to really enjoy those moments."
The show becoming the massive hit that it was also led to some personal turmoil for Ferrera, who noted that her "whole life changed" after she'd been dating the man she'd later marry for only one year.
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"At the time we'd been together one year and then, boom, everything changed, so that was crazy,'" she remembered.
"It's like, this guy that I really like, but I don't see him for three days on end and he's working. 'Is this gonna survive this?'" Ferrera admitted she wondered at the time.
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