There are movies that are bad. And then there are those rare movies that are “Showgirls” bad.

Add “Burlesque” to that lofty – or more accurately, lowly – company.

Here’s the film that answers the question: “What movie started and ended Christina Aguilera’s movie career?”

Aguilera plays a small-town Iowa girl in Iowa who ditches the Midwest for Hollywood – and a job in an outlandish nightclub that seems stuck in the “Cabaret” era. It’s run by Cher – and it gives Aguilera the chance to hopscotch from waitress to chorus-line dancer to star attraction. There’s a lot of silliness about Cher, as the old-time star who still takes an occasional turn onstage, and her dilemma about missed payments on the club’s mortgage. Will she lose the club? Can the new girl save the day? Does a bear poop in the woods?

The script is free of credible friction or jeopardy. The music is brassy and generic, with tame dance numbers that would make real burlesque performers snicker. The club’s shows look like post-Bob Fosse knock-offs.

There’s nary a surprise to be had, except for Aguilera’s apparent misconception that she has acting talent.

And that’s not really so surprising, is it?

* One Star (Out of 5)

Read the full 'Burlesque' review here.

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