Obama Invents Fake Disease To Describe Romney Policies

President Obama debuted a new rhetorical flourish Friday, creating a fake, amnesia-like disease to describe what he calls Mitt Romney's changing positions on women's issues and the economy.

The president spoke to a group of mostly female supporters during a campaign rally at a university in northern Virginia, taking Romney to task over what he called the candidate's case of "Romnesia."

"He's forgetting what his own positions are, the president said of Romney. "And he's betting that you will, too. I mean he's changing up so much, backtracking and sidestepping. We've got to name this condition that he's going through. I think it's called Romnesia. That's what it's called. I think that's what he's going through."

Mr. Obama went on to claim Romney contracted the disease between his time as governor of Massachusetts and the Republican primary.

"If you say you'll protect a woman's right to choose but you stand up in a primary debate and say you would be delighted to sign a bill outlawing that right to choose in all cases, man you've definitely got Romnesia," he said.

He suggested the disease led Romney to change policies on a list of other issues before arguing his own health care law could help rid Romney of Romnesia.

"If you come down with a case of Romnesia and you can't seem to remember the policies that are still on your website, or the promises you made over the six years you've been running for president, here's the good news! Obamacare covers preexisting conditions! We can fix you up! We've got a cure!"

Romney surrogate and Virginia state delegate Barbara Comstock said the president's failure to cure the ailing economy will keep women from voting for him.

"Women haven't forgotten how we've suffered over the last four years in the Obama economy with higher taxes, higher unemployment, and record levels of poverty," Comstock said in a statement. "President Obama has failed to put forward a second-term agenda - and when you don't have a plan to run on, you stoop to scare tactics."