The term "wardrobe malfunction" entered the mainstream lexicon back in 2004 following a very unwelcome cameo appearance by Janet Jackson’s right breast during the half-time show. While the dust from that media firestorm has long since settled, wardrobe malfunctions have remained as relevant as ever thanks to countless starlets who have taken it upon themselves to carry the malfunction torch.
While us regular folks don't have to worry about our malfunctions going viral on the blogosphere or becoming trending topics on Twitter, they can still cause significant embarrassment. Here, we examine common wardrobe malfunctions and provide tips to prevent them from happening.
Going braless may feel liberating and sometimes can seem like the only option in certain cases, but it puts you at a very high risk of experiencing the most common malfunction on the market: the nipple slip. While double stick tape can work for certain ensembles, it’s tough to guarantee that it will stay in place and won’t sweat right off—especially during the final sweltering stretch of summer.
Fortunately, you can wear that risqué number with confidence thanks to the innovative new styles of underpinnings on the market.
One brand worth looking into is The Natural by Coconut Grove Intimates, which features an array of solution bras that fit seamlessly under your trickiest dresses and tops: plunging, backless, cutaway, one shoulder
A nipple doesn’t need to physically pop out like Jack-in-the-Box in order to make an appearance. A crueler kind of malfunction is the one that goes unnoticed… until there’s a flash of a camera or a sudden burst of bright lighting, that is.
While not as notorious as “nipplegate” this form of wardrobe malfunction also had a moment in 2004 when Alexander Kerry, daughter of presidential nominee John Kerry, arrived at the Cannes film festival in a beautiful long black dress that would have been classy and demure had it not suddenly turned translucent under the spotlight, revealing the poor girls bare breasts and white panties (at least she didn’t make the fatal mistake of going commando!).
Even for us regular gals, it can ruin a night’s worth of amazing photos and cause great humiliation should you unexpectedly find yourself under some bright lights.
To avoid this type of pickle, it’s essential to do a thorough examination of the garment. A good trick is to put your hand inside the piece and hold it up to the light. Can you see your hand? Well then your body will not stand a chance against a potent flash and you need to saddle up with some appropriate underpinnings!
It’s the Pits
Sweat stains are a very unfortunate fact of life that even the most potent deodorant can’t always prevent. Even though we’ve all been there (even celebrities!), it’s still an embarrassing situation to be in. The best defense here is a strong offense, namely, Garment Guard. These disposable underarm shields adhere to the inside of clothing, providing a barrier to keep you stain-free. If you’re wearing something sleeveless, apply baby powder or cornstarch as an extra line of defense atop your deodorant to absorb excess moisture.
Bonus: In an attempt to avoid sweat stains, you may cause another type of malfunction: deodorant marks. Don’t waste your time drenching the area with water, which won’t work and will just leave you with splotches of water that frame the stains you were trying to get rid of. Instead, invest in this Rescue Sponge from Miss Oops (it also works on makeup and other difficult stains). Just rub the smudge with the sponge and watch it disappear right before your eyes.
When the Wind Blows…
It’s a sad, albeit slightly amusing, scenario that we’ve all encountered. One minute you’re strolling along feeling cute and confident in a breezy summer dress, the next a gust of wind comes along, sending said dress up towards the sky.Even the Duchess of Cambridge herself fell victim to the wind’s skirt-blowing wrath, which gave the world a teeny glimpse of her royal heiny at the Calgary International Airport on her last day in Canada.
While you may bask in having a mini Marilyn Monroe moment, most of us can’t pull off an upskirt situation with her playful panache. While there’s no way to outsmart the wind, you can mitigate the embarrassment of this situation by wearing bike shorts or boy shorts underneath a flowy dress or skirt. While flashing your thong or granny panties to the world is beyond mortifying, showing off your bike shorts is just revealing another layer of perfectly appropriate clothing.
There you have it. Now you can go forth with confidence and the sound knowledge that you’re privy to priceless perils of wisdom that today’s starlets haven’t quite figured out.