Updated

As football fans well know by now, Bill Belichick is a curmudgeon. Somewhere along the line there was probably a time when joy was an attainable emotion, but these days he's mostly a crusty old crank. He seems pretty proud of it, too.

That was put on full display during Friday's press conference in Foxboro, when Belichick revealed that he has no use for two things -- swagger and advanced stats.

First thing's first, should it really come as a gigantic surprise that this man -- this man right here -- doesn't know what swagger means?

To his credit, Belichick marches to the beat of his own drum, but he's not exactly the poster child of swagger.

Moving on, it's also not shocking that Belichick isn't a big time advanced stats and metrics guy. He's old school. He's meat and potatoes. He loves players who lock themselves in the film room. He's about intangibles.

So, with that in mind, you can take your hip slang and your fancy spreadsheets and get off Belichick's lawn.