As you know, Hillary Clinton is on her "please don't forget me tour," showing up on a late-night show to make wisecracks about the guy who shellacked her in 2016 like a driftwood sculpture.
Yes, President Trump is her meal ticket. Her "Free Bird." Her "Stairway to Heaven."
She brought Chelsea because she's also unemployed, and Bill wanted both of them out of the house before his 5 p.m. showed up. Her name is Crystal.
"If anyone should be telling Trump jokes, it's me," Hillary said.
Chelsea added: "Fifty percent of Trump's tweets have been attacks on people. One-hundred percent have been attacks on the English language."
Wow, those jokes really killed, according to the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein.
But, as usual, the gags seem sad. It’s like a chump dumped by a girl three years ago who keeps joking about his ex to let you know he's all right, but still dying inside.
Yeah, it's good to laugh, but also maybe to move on. Isn't there a Walmart that needs two greeters?
Maybe this is a new thing for James Corden. It's an open mic night for losers.
He hands the set over to people to work humorously through their humiliations. After Hillary, maybe he should invite CNN President Jeff Zucker.
But I enjoyed it. Ponder the alternative.
Four years ago, you were given two choices: Trump loses, and Hillary becomes president; or Trump wins, and Hillary does stand-up comedy.
Every time Hillary cracks a joke, it's a reminder which one you got. She's welcome to overstay her welcome, because it's fun to be reminded that Trump didn't just win. He put an exclamation point, finally, at the end of the Clinton sentence.
She may kill onstage (and in prison), but he killed a dynasty.
So enjoy the jokes. When they're coming from the Clintons, they write themselves.
Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on November 6, 2019.