Wishes, Predictions and Resolutions for Caroline, Bloomberg and Bush

By Leonard JacobsWriter/Arts Critic

My 2009 Wish List

1) An end, or at least the beginning of the end, to the recession. My fear, though, is that 2008 is a mere prelude to the real pain of 2009. But this is a wish list, so I'm wishing.

2) The media, particularly print media, finally discovers a way to satisfactorily monetize the Web to compensate for the shortfall in declining advertising that is being driven by the fast-changing habits of readers, and to generate a cessation in the slow and agonizing death of journalism that 2008 will be remembered for.

2009 Predictions

1) An economic stimulus package that will top $1 trillion -- and get the American economy moving again.

2) The left's growing dissatisfaction with certain domestic and foreign policies of the Obama administration. File this under T for "Told You He Was a Centrist."

3) The right's dissatisfaction, most likely expressed through obstructionism that will yield no dividends for them politically in 2010, with certain domestic and foreign policies of the Obama administration. File this under T for "Told You He Was a Centrist."

4) Unemployment tops 9%.

5) Housing bubble continues to collapse. McMansions now at near-parity with bubblehead dolls of Mayor McCheese from the 1970s. eBay will confirm. Favorite Moment of 2008 aka Best/Worst Moment of 2008

1) Favorite Moment:Sarah Palin's acceptance speech, for giving Tina Fey such inspiration.

2) Best Moment:Watching the greed of Wall Street, a quarter-century in the making, begin to receive its comeuppance.

3) Worst Moment:Realizing that when Wall Street receives its comeuppance, the nation as a whole suffers terribly.

New Year's Resolutions for Public Figures1) Caroline Kennedy:"I resolve to eliminate, um, "you know" from my, um, vocabulary."

2) Mayor Michael Bloomberg:"I resolve to publicly acknowledge that overturning term limits through the New York City Council and not by public referendum was a total subversion of democracy and will long be remembered as the most shameful, and shameless, moment of my otherwise sterling mayorality."

3) George W. Bush:"I resolve...let me get back to ya."

The Most Important Story Everyone Missed in 2008

1) The coming financial collapse of Broadway after seven extraordinary seasons. Leonard Jacobs is a freelance journalist living in New York City. He is, among other things, theatre critic for The New York Press, author of the new book Historic Photos of Broadway, and he writes The Clyde Fitch Report, a blog that sits at the nexus of arts and politics.