Again, and again, we told you, Joe Biden would never be the Democratic nominee. We were wrong. How did we screw that up?
Mostly because we don't think like Democrats think. The Republican Party is a coalition of business interests and conservative ideologues. At its core, it's about ideas -- the Constitution, the free market, the basic principles of Western civilization.
The Democratic Party isn't like that at all. Democrats don't fixate on ideas. Instead, their base is a constellation of aggrieved interest groups animated by their hostility to traditional Americans. They may not have much in common, but they're united in their desire to take power and redistribute the spoils to themselves.
To achieve that, Democrats know they must stick together no matter what. Group cohesion is the root of their power. On this show, we didn't see it that way. We looked at the Democratic primary field from the outside, and we thought the obvious: Is this party really going to nominate a guy with no program, no core beliefs, and by the way, who's clearly lost it?
And the answer we learned last night is, of course, they are. And why wouldn't they? It might work.
But hold on, you're probably wondering the most basic question of all, if elected president, could Joe Biden really oversee this complex nation of 320 million people?
Judge for yourself. Here was Biden's victory speech from Tuesday night, in which he mistook his wife of 43 years for his sister.
Joe Biden, former vice president: They don't call it Super Tuesday for nothing.
By the way, here's my little sister, Valerie, and I'm Jill's husband - oh no, this is the one. Hey, you switched on me. This is my wife, this is my sister. They switched on me.
So, apparently some practical joker hid his wife from him. Cruel.
Biden is noticeably more confused now than he was even last spring when he entered the race. So why is this good news for the Democratic establishment in Washington? Well, because it means they can control him.
As a smart friend said Tuesday night, Joe Biden has spent his entire life trying to succeed in presidential politics. Now, he has. Too bad he's not there to enjoy it. Pretty funny.
But to the cynical and darkly clever people who run the Democratic Party, Biden's fading intellect is not a handicap. It's an opportunity. Joe Biden is weak, and he is getting weaker. Ask anyone who knows him or who has watched him carefully over the past 50 years.
Biden is noticeably more confused now than he was even last spring when he entered the race. So why is this good news for the Democratic establishment in Washington? Well, because it means they can control him. That's one reason the other candidates were so eager to swing in behind Biden the instant he won a state.
Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn.: I am ending my campaign and endorsing Joe Biden for President.
Mike Bloomberg, former New York City mayor: We are uniting behind the candidate with the best shot to do it, and after yesterday's vote, it is clear, that candidate is my friend and a great American, Joe Biden.
Pete Buttigieg, former South Bend, Ind. mayor: That I'm delighted to endorse and support Joe Biden for President.
Former Rep. Beto O'Rourke, D-Texas: I will be casting my ballot for Joe Biden.
And it wasn't just Democrats who jumped on board. The entire so-called "resistance," angry former Republicans got in immediately -- Bill Kristol, Ana Navarro, Jennifer Rubin, that weird little guy who was Jeb Bush's spokesman back in 2016. They were all thrilled by Biden's rise. They know that Biden will greenlight their pointless foreign wars, no questions asked.
And then, because the day couldn't get more predictable and hilarious, James Comey himself sent a supportive tweet: "Voted in first Democratic primary to support a party dedicated to restoring values in the White House. I agree with Amy Klobuchar. We need candidates who care about all Americans and will restore decency and dignity to the office. There's a reason Trump fears Joe Biden and roots for Bernie. #Biden2020."
All these people are happy for the same reason: Joe Biden is fading and uncertain. Weak leaders are vessels for the stronger forces around them and no force in American politics is stronger, more aggressive or better organized than the narrow little interest groups that comprise the Democratic coalition.
There's a reason Gov. Ralph Northam of Virginia swung so far from the center after he was caught wearing Klan robes. Northam was badly wounded by that. He was on the brink of resigning, you'll remember. And then Democratic interest groups swooped in and took control of his administration. Now, the Northam administration looks nothing like it once did. The interest groups are in charge.
What you're looking at is a man willing to say virtually anything. Hard-eyed extremists in the party will use Biden as their instrument from the first day.
As if on cue, one of the first things Joe Biden did after winning the South Carolina primary on Saturday was pledge to put Beto O'Rourke in charge of his gun policy.
Biden: I want to make something clear. I am going to guarantee you this is not the last you're seeing this guy [O'Rourke]. You're going to take care of the guns problem with me. You're going to be the one that leads this effort. I am counting on you.
Beto is "going to take care of the gun problem."
How exactly is Beto going to do that? Well, O'Rourke has promised to seize the rifles of law-abiding Americans by force with armed federal agents, if necessary. And that wasn't a throwaway line; he said it repeatedly.
That is the most extreme position on gun control ever articulated in American politics. It's now Joe Biden's position because it's the position of the powerful Democratic interest groups that control him.
In other words, don't expect a Biden presidency to be moderate, not because Joe Biden himself is some kind of wild-eyed extremist. He's clearly not that. He is a doddering old man who grins a lot.
But Biden is infinitely malleable. He assumes the form of whatever surroundings he finds himself in, like an invertebrate. Here he is revealing that actually he's just a southern as old Col. Sanders -- just give them a white suit and a string tie.
Biden (invoking a southern accent): If the Democrats nominate me, I believe, we can beat Donald Trump.
We can beat Donald Trump -- that's the talk in Delaware.
What you're looking at is a man willing to say virtually anything. Hard-eyed extremists in the party will use Biden as their instrument from the first day. And not just on guns, on every issue -- immigration, health care, taxes, judges -- esoteric social issues so bizarre you didn't know they existed.
Joe Biden is 77-years-old. If elected, he'd be 78 on Inauguration Day. That's almost 10 years older than Ronald Reagan was when he was first sworn in.
Joe Biden is fading and uncertain. Weak leaders are vessels for the stronger forces around them and no force in American politics is stronger, more aggressive or better organized than the narrow little interest groups that comprise the Democratic coalition.
Biden is acutely aware of this. That's why he's always talking about pushups and challenging other men to fistfights. He's insecure, and that insecurity makes Biden susceptible to the worst people in Democratic politics.
Now, you may be afraid of the 28-year-old nihilist currently trying to reorder American society -- and you should be. But Joe Biden is absolutely terrified of them. He doesn't understand exactly what they're saying, but he knows they are the future, and he is not.
And for that reason, he's willing to do whatever they ask. You can expect Transgendered Samoans Week to become a federal holiday in his first term, and a whole lot more after that. Biden doesn't care about the details of policy. He doesn't even know the difference. He just doesn't want to fall behind.
So what are the political lessons of what happened Tuesday night? Well, the first is that the Democratic establishment is far stronger than the Republican establishment, not to mention far bigger. It's in a different category from what the right has. It extends far beyond four cable news shows, a cluster of D.C. think tanks and a few low circulation magazines.
We're almost through the first term of the Trump administration, and Democrats still operate virtually every lever of power in this country. They control finance, big business, the tech sector, the news media, of course, academia, the vast federal bureaucracy, and we're including in that, unfortunately, the Pentagon and the intelligence and law enforcement agencies.
Every power center in America is arrayed against Donald Trump, and we would add to that list the government of Communist China, which would badly like to return to the compliant American leadership of yesterday.
All of these groups will be working tirelessly for Joe Biden. They'll use whatever tools they possess, some of them public, many not. Above all, they'll have the media, which, needless to say, is already playing its prescribed role.
Don Lemon, CNN anchor: What a night it has been for Joe Biden. What a race it's been. Unbelievable. I took a nap because I knew that I would be up late, and I woke up and I thought I was still dreaming.
It was like a dream. Like a dream, like a beautiful dream.
By November, they'll be telling you that Joe Biden is an internationally-ranked chess champion who can cure baldness. Many people will believe them because that's the thing about propaganda -- it works. That's why they do it.
Republicans should be very concerned about this. Look at the Democratic turnout numbers from Tuesday night. They were historic. In some places, they seem to defy physics.
What does that suggest? That there are an awful lot of infuriated Democrats out there. They're not in the mood for compromise. They're apt to believe anything, including that Joe Biden can beat Orange Satan and solve their personal problems.
Don't expect Bernie Sanders to stand in the way of Joe Biden, not for long anyway. Sanders plays the maverick, but it's pretty clear he doesn't have the stomach to buck his own party. Hillary Clinton's DNC rigged the primaries against him four years ago, but Sanders still dutifully endorsed her, campaigned for her, when she inevitably won the nomination.
On Wednesday, just two hours after he lost his final chance at the White House, Sanders refused to call Joe Biden what he is -- a corporate shill tasked with dragging the party back to 2009. Instead, Sanders went out of his way to praise the longtime puppet of the credit card companies as a man of high character.
Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt. and 2020 presidential candidate: I like Joe. Joe is a decent guy, and I do not want this campaign to degenerate into a Trump-type epic where we're attacking each other, where it's personal attacks. That is the last thing this country wants.
Yes, that's not how you get elected president, and it doesn't look like Bernie will be elected president. Like so many true believers, Sanders is more comfortable losing than winning. It's hard to imagine him throwing a scene at the Milwaukee convention to prevent the Obama restoration, which is what this is.
With Bloomberg out and Elizabeth Warren humiliated, there is nothing left in American politics to stop Joe Biden's ascent to the Democratic nomination and domination of the party.
So get ready for Joe Biden. He's more threatening than he looks.
Adapted from Tucker Carlson's monologue from "Tucker Carlson Tonight" on March 4, 2020.