Another day… another media bombshell… that lands with a thud.
Imagine a loaf of bread hitting the pavement from the roof of your house. -- That’s the New York Times’ report on Trump's old tax returns.
Oh, Pillsbury Cronkite, aka CNN's Brian Stelter, is this one of the most important stories of the past 5 years?
He thinks it is, because here's what he said about it, "This is one of the most important stories of the past 5 years. Not one of the most important stories of the past year, but one of the most important stories of the past five years.” (I'd say his hair is on fire, but too late.)
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Now, because this story involves numbers it’s hard on the media. They couldn’t tally a 20 percent tip on a dollar beer.
But sorry guys, no laws were broken. And sorry, CNN, no sign of Russia!
Because if there were either of those, that would've been the lede.
Instead, it’s Trump knows taxes.
Trump said it long ago. If you don't follow the tax laws you're stupid. Because the alternative is to make stuff up and send extra cash to Uncle Sam, who pays people like Biden to nap.
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Here's a tip: when you own real estate, depreciation and maintenance can outpace the rent you get. You deduct that. And it’s your accountant’s duty not to cure inequality, but to legally keep as much of your cash as possible.
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The media assumes you won’t know this. I didn’t -- for the longest time. I had to educate myself on taxes, mortgages, loans. I didn't learn it at school. But I did learn that “Moby Dick” had homoerotic underpinnings. (English major reference here.)
The bottom line: Anyone who pays more taxes than legally owed is an idiot.
If you want to pay more? Then write the check, sucker.
But what's the bigger story for you?
That this lame story lands a day before the biggest debate ever.
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But, as gramps once said about failed courtships, Trump stories are like buses. Ya miss one, there's another coming in 15 minutes.
Except now it's every 15 seconds. And all of them are lighter-than-air.
Adapted from Greg Gutfeld's monologue on "The Five" on September 28, 2020.
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