Oregon just decided that reading, writing and arithmetic are racist. It was written in a bill, which makes this bill inherently racist because someone had to write it.
Yes, the worst state in history (you’re welcome, New Jersey) has decided to drop the requirement that students demonstrate that they’ve mastered those skills.
Crap, I said, "mastered." That’s racist too.
According to activist Ben Crump, the phrase master, as in "master bedroom," is racist.
I can only wonder what he thinks of my sheets.
You know, there’s another joke I can make involving master, but why bait the audience.
So, for the next five years, Oregon students will get a diploma without the necessary skill base, making that rolled paper as meaningful as a pink belt in karate.
Venezuelan currency is more valuable.
You get more respect if you showed up in a job interview with a tear-drop tattoo from Rikers.
Or, in Joe DeVito’s case, when he applied for this job with a Curious George book and a mesh T-shirt.
So this is new. The state is mandating schools to become diploma mills. Oddly, the governor signed this Senate bill into law almost a month ago but didn’t brag about it.
There was no signing ceremony because again, writing is racist.
The state legislature had publicized other past laws but not this one. They hid it like a cold sore on prom night. I remember that.
It’s weird. Progressives have happily trumpeted a lot of crazy s---. They’re even still bragging about defunding the police.
But maybe here they actually feel some shame about this particular travesty.
The governor won’t talk about it. Why should she? That’s like asking Andrew Cuomo how he feels about misogyny in the workplace.
So is this new bill racist?
Well, according to one of the government lackeys, they dropped the requirement in order to benefit "Oregon’s Black, Latino, Latina, Latinx, Indigenous, Asian, Pacific Islander, Tribal, and students of color," effectively turning their degrees into a participation trophy.
So to answer your question: hell yes, that’s racist.
You couldn’t do worse if you named the bill "minorities are stupid."
Because now, expecting them to learn is viewed as oppression rather than providing knowledge and opportunity.
Apparently, in the progressive mindset, minorities aren’t up to the task, which sounds kind of racist, as opposed to the education, for they assume these groups are hopeless.
But tell that to Serge Brynn or Elon Musk or any other immigrant who came here and hit it big.
I wonder what the Angry Black Male thinks.
Tyrus, Angry Black Male: What, you’re following me home now? What is it now? What? No reading, writing or arithmetic? (to daughter) What if I told you you didn’t have to do reading, writing or math at school anymore?
The soft bigotry of low expectations has now become law. Except it’s not soft, it’s as hard as a two-week-old bagel.
Yet we can’t get these damn kids to pass the most basic exams, so just ditch the exams.
True, we could try harder and overhaul our own education, or check out why these students are having problems, but it would cut into our three-month summer vacations.
Instead, drop the requirement. Problem solved.
Which actually punishes talent and hard work. It’s academic communism.
Meanwhile, parents can’t tell how bad the schools are really doing.
So, could we try it elsewhere?
Med school is hard. So, we’re dropping the requirements on diagnosis and surgery.
The good news, if you like your clown, you can keep your clown.
Engineering is not only complex, it’s also racist for it expects minorities to absorb mathematical data and use that to build things like planes, trains and automobiles.
So we’re dropping the requirement on industry-relevant skills. Meet the guy who designed the latest jumbo jet.
You know, law enforcement is challenging. You have to deal with constant stress and your own secret racism.
Plus, you have to run with all that stuff around your waist, that's got to chafe, especially when you don’t wear pants like me.
So, we decided to drop all requirements related to crime prevention. Here’s your new police force.
Bottom line, it’s not the requirements that are racist.
It’s the assumption that specific groups can’t meet the standards.
If you don’t think a Black kid can read or write, you’re the racist.
You’re also the same ones who happen to hate Clarence Thomas and Thomas Sowell.
It’s not us. No wonder the left hates school choice so much because parents would choose schools that expect kids to learn math.
If you think it’s too hard for Latin, Latino and Latinx to do sophomore level math, well first, congrats on using the most woke classifications, but you’re still a racist, you jacka--.
Hell, even Tony Montana had to learn the metric system, something us White Americans quit on.
The fact is, every arena in life where standards are being dropped is racism. It’s the ultimate condescension. We make the rules so only idiots can follow them.
But maybe they don’t know they’re being racist because they’re too busy calling everybody else, and everything, racist.
Maybe we start pointing it out to them with the same tenacity they use to point us out.
It’s boring and it’s repetitive, but someone has to do it, and it sure beats doing math. Racist.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the August 11, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"