It was a bad weekend for CNN. First -- let's go to our roly poly guacamole gossip goalie and see how bad it got on reliable fart noises. Here’s Michael Wolff delivering the smack to the hack.
Wolff: I think you yourself, um, while you are a nice guy, you are full of sanctimony. You have become one of the parts of the problem of the media. You know you come on here and you have a monopoly on truth. You know exactly how things are supposed to be done. You are why one of the reasons people can't stand the media. I'm sorry.
Stelter (laughs): you are cracking me up
You're cracking up? You should see the rest of the world. We're dying over here. That was glorious. And can I hear that chuckle again?
He chuckled like his wife just came back from the ladies room at a restaurant and noticed half of her beef wellington had been eaten. But if that was a heavyweight fight, and it is because, Stelter - it would have been stopped in the first 25 seconds. And it got worse, meaning better. Lots better.
Wolff: it's your fault.
Stelter: what should I do differently Michael?
Wolff: you know, don’t talk so much, listen more. You know people have genuine problems with the media. The media doesn’t get the story right. The media exists in its own bubble.
Stelter: that is true, I agree.
Wolff: you gotta stop, you know that last segment that I just had to listen to of all the people saying the same old stuff. (Stelter laughing) also you are incredible repetitive. It is week after week. You are the flip side of Donald trump. Fake news and you say virtuous news.
Stelter: no we just figure out what is real. I am listening
Wolff: yea figuring out what is real is not so easy. And most people don’t want to turn to Brian Stelter to tell us what is real. I'm sorry
There's that laugh again. He giggled like a guy accidentally walked in on him in the changing room at Old Navy. Now. I never expected I would ever feel sorry for Brian Stelter. Usually I feel sorry for his belt or his office chair. Oh well - why did Wolff bother going on CNN a few times this week?
Stelter: well then why did you bother coming on CNN a few times this week? (laughs)
Wolff: you know, I am a book salesman.
Stelter: (laughs) Michael I love talking to you. I am grateful you came on. And I guess let's do it again in 4 years. Thanks so much
Wolff: see ya
Yeah, let's do it again in four years. He thinks he’s still gonna be around then. Something tells me that's not happening ever again. How embarrassing. Good thing it happened on CNN, so no one saw it.
But you know Brian is going to replay that segment in his head over and over again for the next four years with different responses, and probably better ratings.
But that wasn't the only attempted murder that took place over the weekend. There was the Nationals game in DC.
D.C. - where the usual past time is dodging bullets. Yep: buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, I don't care if there’s a hole in my back.
CNN Report Suzanne Malveaux: gunfire sending fans and players scrambling during a game at Nationals Park stadium in Washington DC. A fan, one of the 3 wounded in the shooting near the park Saturday night according to DC Metro police
True. An actual shootout took place between armed factions right outside the baseball stadium. Even the bobbleheads were ducking for cover. It's a big story. But it's a bigger media story, because that's the DC media's team.
They're often shown at the games. As season ticket holders or guests of important people. For the press, the game isn't just the pastime, it's being seen in your awesome seats.
Now obviously, CNN covered the shooting, doing live shots outside the center field gate. Why is that important? Because it was refreshing to finally see CNN cover a crime story. For once.
If you watched their network you were told crime was largely made up hysteria. Just an idea, but nothing real. Like Antifa. One more time, please.
Don Lemon: Democratic cities are in chaos right now. Is this what you want from Joe Biden? And they are gonna take your country away and they are taking down the statues.
Cuomo: crime is rising as they defund police
Lemon: oh my gosh it is so bad and they are defunding police. It is like phew (lemon rolls his eyes)
That clip is a media version of a McDonald’s French fry you find under a couch cushion... It’s never going to get old. And how did they know there was never really any crime wave? They did what any journalist did—they went to dinner. One more time!
Don Lemon, September 2020: If you listen to conservative media you would think entire cities are embroiled in fights and fires. We went out and had a great dinner in NYC. People walked up and said thank you, we watch you every night.
Hope you had a nice meal in fantasy land. Don, that story's as likely as Chris Cuomo avoiding a mirror. But now a gun battle takes place outside a baseball game. A horrible situation for the players, the fans, everyone.
Last week I had said the only way the media was gunna cover crime is if it actually ended up at their door step. Or if Wolf Blitzer knocked off an armored car. Again. Until then, they would only see it as something to be mocked.
But now, it's a story, for the press. Because the press was already there. At the game. The crime problem they pretend doesn't exist is so bad it actually found them! It was now not just a big deal, it was their big deal.
CNN's Chris Cilizza: I was at the game with my wife and 2 kids and we were sitting right down the 3rd base line and in the middle of the 6th inning // you heard 6-7 loud noises // and all of a sudden in left field people started jumping over their seats and trying to get out which scared all of us. // we got under our seats, ducked under our seats // it was really terrifying, my boys were really, really scared
It sounds legitimately awful. For that to happen at a baseball game, right? Now imagine that happening, on your street. Near your front yard where your kids play. Because that's what’s happening in DC, Chicago, New York City, and many other cities. It is real. It is terrifying.
But it's not at a baseball game, so... Only Fox covers the crime that effects everyone. Michael Wolff is right. The media lives in a bubble like the ones players blow while waiting on deck.
For a brief moment that bubble popped Saturday night at a baseball game - where the true reality of our crime epidemic hit home, or rather home plate. They got a taste of how the rest of DC lives. Where policies the media supports have turned their neighborhoods into a John Wick movie.
So will they learn any lessons from this? Will they reexamine their news coverage, especially regarding crime, and how they dropped that ball when it should have been a routine catch?
Of course not. They'll forget about by tonight. And say the game was postponed due to climate change.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the July 19, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"