Former “Real Housewives of Orange County” star Kara Keough remembered her late son, McCoy, with a touching post three months after he died.
Keough, 31, shared a photo of herself cradling McCoy, who was attached to a ventilator, and her husband, Kyle Bosworth, who hugged them both.
“You would have been three months old today,” the former reality star said. “But instead, I’m three months into the deepest pain I’ve ever felt. I’ve survived three months when I didn’t think I’d live another three seconds.”
She continued: “How has it been so long since I smelled you and felt your weight? Each day since you were born has felt like the longest day a summer solstice of suffering. And yet, somehow, time is passing. Time is pushing on, moving my body begrudgingly into another day. Another day further away from the last time I held you in my arms.”
Keough also posed a few questions imagining what life with her son would have been like.
“Would you be blonde still, or bald? Would you smile bigger for mommy’s singing or with daddy’s beard tickling your belly? Would your sister be sneaking into your room and trying to lift you out of your crib even though we’ve told her not to three times already? Would she even be able to lift you by now?" Keough asked of her and Bosworth's 4-year-old daughter, Decker.
She added: "Would you track the dogs with your eyes, discovering your love for them already? Would you swipe your hands at all your new best friends, reaching out to pull hats and bows off their heads?”
“We kiss you goodnight, we say, ‘Hi baby,’ when we see signs of you, we feel you everywhere,” the former reality star concluded. “There’s a space where you should be, but each day it’s feeling less like a gaping hole and more like an invisible fullness. We love you, McCoy.”
Keough has been sharing monthly tributes on social media since April when McCoy died.
The former “RHOC” star had a home birth. They were then rushed to the hospital because McCoy didn’t have a pulse. The infant experienced shoulder dystocia and a compressed umbilical cord. McCoy also wasn’t breathing for the first 45 minutes of his life. Due to a lack of oxygen, before he could be put on a ventilator, he also suffered from severe brain trauma.
"We got some milestones we didn't think we'd get,” Bosworth said on “Good Morning America” in May. “We got to change his diaper. I got to get peed on, which is a boy-mom thing I didn't think I'd ever get. We got to hold him, we got to feel warmth in his body."
Keough’s father, Matt Keough, died less than a month after her son died.
“Daddy, please take care of my son,” she wrote on Instagram in May. “Teach him the circle changeup and how to find forever friends. You’re on grandpa duty in heaven now.”