Mayim Bialik is learning how to be alone after splitting from her boyfriend of five years just before Thanksgiving.

“If ever there were a story that should have ended not like this, I feel this might be it. But he has his own will and much as I wish I could control his will, I cannot. And so here we are,” she wrote in an emotional post on her women’s lifestyle site, Grok Nation, on Tuesday.

“The Big Bang Theory” actress, who has never revealed the identity of her ex, continued, “There is rarely good timing for a break up. But most certainly, the worst time is now. In case he is reading this, I’m just meh with this timing. Because say what you will, the holidays are a time to not be recently broken up. I know this much is true. The air is full of clarity and possibility.”

Bialik, 43, went on to write that the holidays are the time of year when commercials remind you its time to buy the woman you love jewelry, and to get engaged.

“I would be lying if I said it didn’t enter my mind that this holiday season might hold a promise of a secure future for me,” she admitted.

In the post, Bialik suggests tips for moving on from a hard breakup, which include exercising, not listening to sad music and finding perspective.

“Chances are you’ll find someone else. Chances are having random sex with people you aren’t emotionally connected to or committed to may not be the answer, but maybe it is. Who knows? You do you,” she wrote. “As for me, I’ve got a half bottle of Manischewitz, four cats, and a wicked puzzle waiting for me. And for now, I am grateful in my tears and in my sadness for small blessings. They abound even now.”

Bialik first revealed the news in a November blog post about spending Thanksgiving at her ex-husband’s home. The actress has two children from her 10-year marriage to Michael Stone.

This article originally appeared in Page Six