Updated

Here's everything worth knowing about:

The date of the 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show was announced (December 9), and in celebration, VS model Candice Swanepoel (also Maxim magazine's "hottest woman" of 2014) Instagrammed a photo of herself in a butt-baring bodysuit from the 2009 show. Technically, though, it's only half her butt. But it still counts!

Anybody else need a stiff drink after that? We've got just the thing: the Immigrant cocktail from The Dead Rabbit in NYC. It's basically a whiskey sour, but with a few tasty embelleshments added by award-winning bartender Jack McGarry. Watch the video above to see how it's made.

The doctor who performed Joan Rivers' throat surgery reportedly took a selfie in the operating room while Joan was anesthetized. It was extremely unprofessional, sure, but can you imagine how many "likes" that would have gotten this doc on her Instagram page? Like, a thousand likes.

On Monday in London, Lindsay Lohan attended a magazine party with "Fifty Shades" author E.L. James while wearing lingerie (below). And not only that, but she also donned a lingerie-like eye mask (not pictured) upon exiting the club, because heaven forbid Lindsay Lohan drive home with unobscured vision.

Pizza Hut is reportedly testing new reduced-calorie offerings called "skinny slices" at select locations in Florida and Ohio. We assume they're for people who can't bear to part with their favorite Pizza Hut pizzas, but are willing to settle for crappier, less flavorful Pizza Hut pizzas. So no one.

Lady Gaga loved the bathroom of her Athens hotel room so much that she was inspired to strip down to just a pink thong and share photos of herself on Instagram (see one below). We, on the other hand, would have been content to just steal all the soaps.

The director of the upcoming "Magic Mike" sequel, "Magic Mike XXL," says Matthew McConaughey won't be back to reprise his role as that male stripper character whose name you can't remember. You know, the one who wasn't Mike. The guy in the cowboy get-up! (Rusty, maybe?)

Model/actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore a low-cut blazer-type thing (below) to a Moroccanoil event in New York City, which looked especially scandalous when juxtaposed against fellow attendee Bryce Dallas Howard's conservative schoolmarm outfit.

Due to severe morning sickness, Kate Middleton has been forced to cancel her upcoming trip to Malta, as well as any other trips that don't place her squarely in front of a toilet.

French actor Gerard Depardieu told a film magazine that he can "absorb" up to 14 bottles of wine per day. But he didn't mention anything about his ability to absorb cheesecakes, which must be equally impressive.

Speaking of which, Cronut™ inventor Dominique Ansel annouced on Wednesday that he's planning to open a bakery in Tokyo, as their lips have yet to experience a cheesecake that pretty much tastes like a cheesecake, but instead has the consistency of a moist cottonball:

<p style="line-height: 20.0063037872314px;">&quot;Dancing With the Stars&quot; judge Julianne Hough stepped out in <a href="http://www.justjared.com/2014/09/18/julianne-hough-shows-some-skin-in-see-through-lace-dress/" target="_blank">a lacy see-through dress</a> at a party for her &quot;DWTS&quot; co-worker Mark Ballas, or as he'll soon come to call it, &quot;That party where nobody paid any attention to me.&quot; </p><p><strong></strong></p><p>According to Page Six, new &quot;View&quot; co-hosts Rosie O'Donnell and Nicolle Wallace are already <a href="http://pagesix.com/2014/09/17/rosie-odonnell-and-nicolle-wallace-clash-off-air-during-the-view/" target="_blank">at each other throats both on-air and off</a> — which, let's be honest, is exactly what the producers were hoping for.</p><p>On Wednesday, Taylor Swift shared <a href="http://taylorswift.tumblr.com/post/97707702980/mosaicbrokenhearts-mosaicbrokenhearts" target="_blank">her favorite Food Network cookie recipe</a> with her Tumblr fans, but added that she uses a different chocolate, and in bigger chunks. (Take <em>that</em>, Food Network contributor George Duran!)</p><p></p><p>And finally, Lifetime television is planning to a TV movie based on 2012 internet sensation <a href="http://www.justjared.com/2014/09/17/aubrey-plaza-will-be-the-voice-for-grumpy-cat-in-lifetime-movie/" target="_blank">Grumpy Cat,</a> no doubt because her surly face and impersonable behavior has yet to wear thin after her commercials, calendars, &quot;Today&quot; show appearances, and book signings. (Yes, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/07/25/grumpy-cat-book-signing_n_3652485.html" target="_blank">book signings.</a>)</p>