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Holly Madison's book reveals she contemplated suicide

"Peepshow" star and former Playboy model Holly Madison arrives for Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Year celebration at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, Nevada May 15, 2010. Hope Dworaczyk, 25, is Playboy magazine's 2010 Playmate of the Year. REUTERS/Steve Marcus (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT SOCIETY) - RTR2DXTQ

"Peepshow" star and former Playboy model Holly Madison arrives for Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Year celebration at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, Nevada May 15, 2010. Hope Dworaczyk, 25, is Playboy magazine's 2010 Playmate of the Year. REUTERS/Steve Marcus (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT SOCIETY) - RTR2DXTQ

On E!’s series “The Girls Next Door” Holly Madison’s appeared to lead a wild and fabulous life.

But the former girlfriend of Hugh Hefner reveals in her new memoir, “Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny,” that living in the infamous Playboy Mansion wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. (Yes, Madison did eventually name her daughter Rainbow but that’s beside the point.)

"Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare," the promotional material for the book states, according to Us Weekly. "After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide."

Us Weekly reports that the book will detail the "oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and [her] battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies."

The 35 year old, who has since married and had a daughter, told Us Weekly she is looking forward to fans discovering the truth about her time at Playboy.

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"I’m excited to finally share my story and what I’ve learned from my personal experiences both inside and outside of the Playboy Mansion," Madison said. "I think my stories will surprise people and I’m looking forward to lifting the veil of mystique and clearing up the misconceptions so often associated with my life."