We’re watching the lunatics in charge of our country spiral even deeper into madness, and as we watch that, we feel a duty to keep track of their decline. We do this to assemble a permanent historical record of the craziness, if only for the amusement of future generations. Last night we thought we’d reached an all-time high water mark when we told you that Willie Brown’s girlfriend has decided that she knows more about COVID than the physicians and nurses who treat it.  

That would be Kamala Harris — a person with no adult skills, who can’t figure out how to pronounce her own first name — is now issuing medical directives to medical doctors, and demanding they obey. The media, meanwhile, seem to think that’s perfectly normal. That’s how bonkers things have become. And yet, it all seems to be accelerating.  

Today, the secretary of defense appeared in public wearing a costume: That’s Mr. Lloyd Austin, ladies, and gentlemen, the man in charge of our weapons systems. What’s he got on? Is that a welder’s mask? A dental visor? Has Lloyd Austin been cleaning teeth this morning? Nope. It looks like Austin is just terrified of COVID. So why doesn’t he lose weight? Quite a bit of weight, actually. Good question. That would be the rational response, so of course, he hasn’t even considered it.  

Lloyd Austin got the vaccine, but he’s still so petrified of corona that he’s put a windshield over his face, and demanded that all of his dutiful little minions do the same. An entire army of dental hygienists. Watch out, China. If you move against Taiwan, we’ll scrape the tartar off your molars.  


And yet, even after all those comically elaborate precautions, Lloyd Austin still looks scared for his life. He bumps people’s hands instead of shaking them. How long before Lloyd Austin is wearing surgical gloves in the shower and zip-tying garbage bags around his feet? The United States Military is being run by a neurotic cat lady. 

Our entire government is at this point. Today, 81-year-old Nancy Pelosi announced that anyone caught without a paper obedience mask in the House of Representatives will be subject to arrest. Finally, a crime Democrats plan to punish. The science demands this response, Pelosi explained. It’s straight from the CDC. 

Really? No offense to Nancy Pelosi, but we figured we should check for ourselves. So we did. And this is what the CDC said: "Thank you for your request. The first publication of this data from CDC is coming tomorrow. " 

So to be clear: You can now be arrested for violating scientific guidelines that scientists have not explained. Your kids will suffocate in class for ten hours a day, all next year, and no one will tell you why it’s necessary. By this point, you probably had some sense of what’s going on: The teachers’ unions want this to happen. Therefore it is happening. In other words, government by the single worst people in the country. Someone’s going to write a bitterly hilarious book about all of this someday. Too bad Evelyn Waugh’s gone.  

When that book is finally written, Rep. Jerry Nadler of New York will likely play some role in it. He’ll be a character. On several different levels, Mr. Nadler is — as we say in the epidemiological community — "at-risk" from COVID. He’s old and he likes donuts. Now, we don’t judge either one of those things for a second. On the other hand, we’re not the COVID cops. Nancy Pelosi is. She’s the chief of the force, except when she’s at the hairdresser’s, and yet somehow Chief Pelosi is letting Jerry Nadler skate. Montana Rep. Matt Rosendale just footage of Nadler lumbering through the Capitol mask-less. His face is naked to the world. A felony in progress. But no arrest. The perp got away.  


It’s all enough to make you wonder if Democrats might be using COVID for political advantage. Why wouldn’t they? The pandemic has been awfully good to the Democrats so far. Their allies in the federal bureaucracy helped to create the virus in the first place, with ghoulish taxpayer-funded experiments in China. Once the virus came here, they rode the panic all the way to the White House and control of Congress, not to mention to a socialized economy. Now they’re betting coronavirus will help them keep power forever. Could that really be what’s happening? Let’s see. Go to a quiet place for a minute and think carefully about the last 18 months. All of it. Including the part where they told you BLM riots couldn’t spread riots. 

What do you conclude? Yes. That’s exactly what’s happening. The question is, why are Republicans in Congress still playing along with it? Because they’re afraid of being called science deniers by people who think men can have babies? Because they worry Willie Brown’s girlfriend will say something mean about them on MSNBC? Seriously? What is going on here? 

Today, Rep. Chip Roy of Texas, who increasingly looks like a hero, confronted the Republican leader, Kevin McCarthy, about this. Why are we letting Nancy Pelosi politicize science to create a one-party state? He asked. According to Politico, McCarthy didn’t have much of an answer. He said he plans to become speaker of the House himself one day.  

Maybe he will. But what’s the point of running a country that no longer functions like America?  

Today Joe Biden announced that the COVID vaccine — which, we remind you, still hasn’t been approved by the FDA —  is now, nevertheless, mandatory for all federal workers, as well as federal contractors and the armed forces. That's many millions of people. Meanwhile, companies like Google, Facebook, Netflix, and the Washington Post have all announced identical mandates. None will give exemptions to the millions of Americans who’ve already recovered from COVID, have active antibodies, and don’t need the vaccine — and by the way, possibly shouldn’t have it. What’s the justification for this? Joe Biden explained. 

JOE BIDEN: And I hope all Americans who live in areas with substantial or high case rates will follow the mask guidance that’s being laid down by the CDC. I certainly will, and I have because this is one of those areas in Washington. And at my decision, my direction, all federal personnel and visitors to federal buildings will have to do the same thing. 

Washington, D.C. is a COVID hotspot says the credit card shill turned epidemiologist. What does that mean? We checked. It turns out the District of Columbia has recorded a total of two COVID deaths over the past two weeks. How many is that? In the same period, considerably more people in the city have been murdered. The crime epidemic is far more dangerous to human beings in Washington than COVID is. 


But Biden isn’t sending the National Guard to protect poor neighborhoods in D.C. to keep people from being murdered. He’s mandating injections of an experimental vaccine. This isn’t normal. People should never be forced to take medicine they don’t want or need. That’s a foundational principle. It’s not just a preference. Everything is based on it. And the overwhelming majority of Americans agree with it. Overwhelmingly in both parties. And here’s the amazing thing: suddenly you can no longer say that out loud. 

Charlie Kirk of Turning Point USA sent out a message on social media recently noting that Americans have the right to choose which drugs are injected into their bodies.  


"Let me call my own shots," Kirk’s message read. Facebook immediately censored it. "This is false," Facebook wrote. "Independent fact-checkers say this information has no basis in fact." 

It is no longer factually correct to believe you can control what the government injects into your body. Do you want to live in a place like this? 

This article is adapted from Tucker Carlson's opening commentary on the July 29, 2021, edition of "Tucker Carlson Tonight."