Moments after getting endorsed by Democrats who were fleeing this slow-rolling disaster, former Vice President Joe Biden quickly inspired confidence in their decisions.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women are created, by the, go, you know, you know the thing," Biden said.
"Look, tomorrow’s Super Thurs… Tuesday. And I want to thank you all. I’ll tell you what, I’m rushing ahead, aren’t I?"
As always, he could blame it on the Russians!
I wonder if President Trump noticed?
"Tomorrow voters in states all across the nation will head to the polls for Super Tuesday. Not Super Thursday. Oh, he said, 'Super Thursday.' You can't do these things," Trump said.
"He's constantly naming the wrong state. 'It's great to be in the state of Ohio.' 'No, no, no. I'm sorry. You're in North Carolina.'"
"I honestly don't think he knows what office he's running for."
Trump added, "They're going to put him into a home, and other people are going to be running the country, and they're going to be super-left radical crazies."
Now, everyone makes gaffes, but Joe's multiply faster than rabbits. And while sometimes Trump's words are shocking, they don't hint at an underlying decline.
Biden's words remind you that he's not getting any younger, let alone wiser.
And it makes you wonder about the endorsements from Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-Minn., former Rep. Beto O’Rourke, D-Texas, and former South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg really mean.
Is Biden really leading a parade of enthusiastic support? Or is this a gurney race to push him across the finish line on a stretcher?
He also faces a bigger challenge though. He is moderate by today’s loony-left standards, but his one and only idea is, "Get rid of that orange meanie."
That’s not a vision. That's a complaint.
Meanwhile, Bernie is the outsider whose vision is strong — despite being wrong. It’s why he attracts the youthful, the mad and the crazy.
In a world where we idealize the bold, a radical is just sexier than a bumbling moderate. Even a radical with ear hair.
It’s not fair. It’s not smart. But it's life. Maybe if Democrats hadn't thrown all their weight behind the fantasy of impeachment, they would have seen this coming.
Instead, Democrats are stuck with three voting choices. Two are cranky old men, and one who is sleeping in.
I put my money on the "snooze" button.
Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on Mar. 3, 2020.