Elsa Hosk's Big News, Paris Hilton's Sad News, and Much, Much More

Here's what all the hubbub's about:

• As revealed by her modeling agency on Tuesday, Elsa Hosk has finally been appointed an official Victoria's Secret Angel. Watch the video above to see clips of Elsa from February's "Victoria's Secret Swim Special," then check out the bottomless picture she Instagrammed (below) just before the announcement. (We're guessing her new contract forbids pants, or something.)

• According to a source for People magazine, Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger are no longer an item. Poor Patrick is now just another ex on a list that already includes Nick Jonas and Liam Hemsworth; and Miley is now free to pursue a relationship with that similarly beefy dude from "50 Shades of Grey," because c'mon, he just seems like the next logical progresssion.

• Bella Hadid, the 18-year-old sister of Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Gigi Hadid, posed in nothing but a sheer lace bodysuit for Elle magazine's May issue (below). And after seeing the pic, it's clear that talent runs in the Hadid family — namely, the talent of never being fully clothed in front of cameras.

• The New York Daily News has obtained exclusive photos of Bruce Jenner wearing a dress, taken while the former Olympian stepped outside his Malibu home for a cigarette. But since we all already assumed he was wearing dresses in private, the most surprising part of this story is that he's wearing a stripey dress that clearly didn't come from his stepdaughters' DASH boutique. C"mon, Bruce! Support the family!

• Paris Hilton revealed on Tuesday that her pet chihuahua Tinkerbell died earlier this week. It's tragic news for Paris, sure, but it's also great news for the "Yo Quiero Taco Bell" dog, who once again becomes our most famous living chihuahua by default.

• Sandra Bullock has been named People magazine's Most Beautiful Woman of 2015. So in a few weeks, when we all give out Mother's Day cards praising our moms for being the most beautiful women in the world, we're all going to look like dirty, dirty liars.

• Rihanna was recently revealed as the cover model of V magazine's summer issue, where she's seen topless and wearing in a blonde wig (below). She's also brandishing her butt pretty hard, which the National Weather Service surely recognizes as the official start of the summer season. It's called the Rihanna Butt Index, we think.

• During Tuesday evening's TIME 100 gala in New York City, comedian Amy Schumer (of Comedy Central's "Inside Amy Schumer") pretended to fall on the red carpet just as Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were strolling by. We're not sure what she hoped to accomplish, because other than getting her name in all the headli— Holy crap! This is exactly what she hoped to accomplish! Well done, Amy Schumer!

• On Tuesday, Lindsay Lohan shared an Instagram post containing the Arabic phrase for "You're Beautiful" — or at least that's what she thought. As followers were quick to point out, the phrase actually translated to "You're a donkey." Lohan soon deleted the post, but we can only hope she didn't make it to her local tattoo parlor before learning of the mistake.

• Disney released a new trailer for their upcoming fantasy flick "Tomorrowland" (below), which looks to star George Clooney as a reclusive tech wizard. The preview doesn't reveal much of the film's plot, but it does appear to follow "Home Alone" and "Panic Room" in the grand tradition of having its protagonist beat the crap out of his home invaders in increasingly creative ways.

• Mila Kunis is reportedly being sued by a childhood friend from Ukraine who claims Kunis stole her pet chicken when they were in first grade together. We'd be surprised if the statute of limitations on chicken theft hasn't already expired, but then again, we can't accurately comment on Ukranian chicken law. That's a Ukranian chicken lawyer's job, and no one else's.

• And finally, after a year of that "conscious uncoupling" crap they tried to pull, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have finally filed a divorce petition with the Los Angeles County Superior Court. It's too soon to say how Gwyneth plans to a new-agey spin on this development, but we can bet it'll be annoying, however it plays out.