5 Fictional Characters Who Were Absolutely Terrible at Cooking a Turkey

Did your turkey come out a little dry? Maybe a bit tough? Don't sweat it. Your guests have seen much worse on the silver screen.

Think of it this way: For every flavorless turkey you've served over the years, some bumbling buffoon from a popular holiday film has basted his bird in aftershave, or lost his wristwatch inside the cavity. (Granted, those are fictional cooks roasting fictional turkeys, but you get the idea.) As long as you don't burn down the house or drop the turkey in the toilet, you did just fine!

So pile on some extra gravy, choke down a few more forkfuls, and just be glad YOU were on kitchen duty instead of…

Mr. Bean from 'Bean'

We can pinpoint Mr. Bean's first problem without even watching the video. When cooking a turkey, you should never — under any circumstance — shove your entire head inside the cavity. So if you didn't shove your head in your turkey, you've already cooked a better bird than Bean.

Walter Fielding from 'The Money Pit'

It wasn't technically Walter's fault that his oven launched his turkey out a window, but then again, he's the idiot who bought this dumb house in the first place. So if you own a working oven, congrats! Your turkey probably came out much better!

Cousin Catherine from 'Christmas Vacation'

No matter how try and tasteless your turkey is, Cousin Catherine has got you beat. As long as yours didn't make an audible wheeze/fart noise when you sliced into it, it was perfectly fine.

The Three Stooges from 'Husbands Beware'

As they've proven time and time again, the Three Stooges are just awful at preparing any kind of meal. (In fact, it's a wonder they didn't kill everybody with their turpentine-basted bird.) So if none of your guests needed to call Poison Control after tasting your turkey, consider it a win.

Charlie Brown from "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving"

So what if your turkey was a little bland this year? At least you made a turkey. The same can't be said for Charlie Brown, who enlisted his dog Snoopy to whip up a banquet of What a blockhead.

Honorable mentions: Crawl (Pauly Shore) from "Son in Law," who accidentally gave the turkey a heart attack days before Thanksgiving; Hanson (Chris Elliott) from "Scary Movie 2," whose vulgar actions with the turkey are far too awful to describe in this space; and Wednesday Addams (Christina Ricci), who eschewed the turkey and roasted the Pilgrims instead.