The Joy of Doodling

Greg Gutfeld Draws the News

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    5/5: Greg draws how we mow the lawns here at 'Red Eye' headquarters: unicorns who push manual lawnmowersArt imitates life: Google Gets Goats to Mow Lawn at Company Headquarters

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    4/15: Greg draws Unicorn Jones when he ran his spanking seminar at the Sugarplum Motel, right off the Rainbow Expressway in Gumdrop CityArt imitates life: Spanking 'brings couples together'

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    2/27: Greg draws the only solution to workplace bullying: a three-pronged attack featuring a Melvin Manatee, Unicorn Jones and stage and screen star Craig T. Nelson Art imitates life: Bullying at office puts employees in mental jeopardy

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    2/21: Greg's pick for winner of the Anatomy Awards: Unicorn Jones, who starred in the film 'Waiting for Woodland' opposite Charlie Sheen Art imitates life: Mr. Skin's Anatomy Awards

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    2/4: Greg draws the major problem with trolling the Web for sex. Last week, he arranged a tryst with a young woman and met her for drinks. Turned out it was a manatee in drag Art imitates life: Internet sex addict has slept with 200 guys she met online

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    2/3: Unicornia Jones would come to work in a short skirt and heels and flaunt her wares like she was the hottest woodland creature in town. Sadly, her horn got caught in the shutting doors of an elevator and she was dragged 35 floors to her death Art imitates life: Solution to crisis at the Bank of England: Female staff should wear lipstick and high heels

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    1/29: Greg's illustration illustrates the importance of camera phones: They enable him to get a picture of Mr. Manatee-face Man in the Bally's locker room where he works out Art imitates life: Lawmaker Wants to Make Sure Cell-Phone Cameras Click

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    1/9: Greg draws the love potion he made in his basement, designed to win the affections of unicorns. Sadly the bottle was stolen by Charlie Sheen Art imitates life: Biologists close to creating 'love drug'

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    9/20: Greg sketches Unicorn Jones and Fluffy McNutter's trip to London. They enjoyed the city's famed open air markets, where you can get a great deal on a prayer rug Art imitates life: Sharia courts are extending their reach

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    9/18: Greg draws a piece of art he created called, 'Decapitated Unicorn Head Suspended In a Vat of Urine,' which was later purchased by Anderson Cooper for the staggering price of $20 trillion pixie dust dollars Art imitates life: Hirst buyers defy gloom to spend £100m on art

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    9/10: Greg traces Trace Gallagher Art imitates life: Trace Gallagher's bio

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    8/13: Greg draws the world's greatest Olympic athlete ever - Unicorn Phelps, who so far has won four medals at the Mythical Woodland Creature Olympics. • Art imitates life: Beijing girl was voice but not face of olympic song

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    8/12: Greg draws the greatest heavy metal guitarist ever: Unicorn Van Zepplin • Art imitates life: Study links music to teens' mental states

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    8/7: Greg's Pie Chart: What does a married man do instead of having sex? 20 percent of his time is spent discussing sofa patterns; 20 percent is spent drinking alone in the bathroom, and the remaining 60 percent is spent erasing his Internet history • Art imitates life: Happily Never After: New PTC Study Reveals TV Favors Non-Marital Sex

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    8/6: Greg has started cloning unicorns at the Magical Science Playland located in a crusty sock under his bed! • Art imitates life: Five Puppies Cloned From Dead Pit Bull

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/22: Greg draws the greatest moment in soap opera history: When Luke married Laura on 'General Hospital.' What most people don't know is that Laura was originally supposed to played by a mythical unicorn • Art imitates life: Government report: 'Use steamy TV soap scenes to talk to your kids about sex'

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/22: Greg draws Unicorn Magical Kingdom with two slides and a fire pole. Greg built it using a pre-existing outhouse and some discarded lead pipes. The neighborhood kids love it until they realize the slide is for show and they're trapped for eternity in a maze of filth • Art imitates life: Parents Say Hot NYC Playgrounds Burn Children

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/17: Greg draws Unicorn Jones' ultimate temptation: a Pegasus. Unicorn Jones often travels to Thailand to have sex with as many under-age Pegasi as possible • Art imitates life: Study: Men and Women Respond to Temptation Differently

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/10: Greg draws the creepiest guy he knows at work: He dresses smartly and has a great job that pays well, but he's always walking down the hall around 11 a.m. with a folded newspaper under his arm • Art imitates life: 7 Things Some Guys Do That Make Women Think They're a Pervert

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/9: Greg draws Unicorn Jones back when he was a plumber in the early nineties. Unicorn Jones eventually lost his 'bleavage' after going on the Keebler diet • Art imitates life: A Bra For Your Bum: Meet the Brum

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/1: Greg's favorite baby: Unicorn Jones when he was but a toddler. He was adorable, but sadly, he required a constant diet of pixie dust and Keebler feet, which Greg could not afford, so he threw him in the bushes down by an underpass • Art imitates life: Who Says Kids Make You Happy?

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/26: Greg draws the secret to Matthew McConaughey's success: Whenever he gets down, he thinks of unicorns. When he stops thinking about unicorns, he descends into relentless self-mutilation as he flings his own feces at friends and relatives • Art imitates life: Matthew McConaughey in surfers-vs.-paparazzi brawl in Malibu

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/19: Greg draws the most famous Victoria's Secret model ever: Unicornia Jonesy, a 19-year-old Estonian unicorn discovered by 'Entourage' star Jeremy Piven • Art imitates life: Woman sues Victoria's Secret for injury from defective thong

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/18: Greg sketches his typical Saturday night, where Unicorn Jones puts on his Spartacus outfit and chases Greg around the apartment screaming, "I promise you, a new Rome. A new Italy, and a new empire."

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/17: Greg draws one of the hottest women he's ever met: One of the natives from Unicornia, located at the end of the Sugar Plum Rainbow in Gumdrop Village• Art imitates life: Stockholm girls come out on top

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/14: Greg sketches the spot where Unicorn Jones lost his virginity: The gingerbread house found in the delightful world of CandyLand• Art imitates life: The 8 Places You Probably Lost Your Virginity

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/12: Greg recreates that rough period in the 1990s when Unicorn Jones was an alcoholic unicorn, living on the streets of Gumdrop Village in a crusty sock under Greg's bed• Art imitates life: Nectar of the Broke: The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/11: Greg remembers Unicorn Jones when he first met him at Gold's Gym in Venice Beach back in early 90s. He was heavily into the juice — which isn't actually steroids, but a potent mixture of ground up Keebler Elf• Art imitates life: The Nine Most Obnoxious Habits of Gym Rats And the winning title is: 'Spot Me Fluffy and Watch the Horn' from Jeff Palaferri, San Diego, CA

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    6/7: Greg draws the hottest Hooters waitress he's ever met, a Hooters in Unicorn Valley, located off exit seven in Rainbow Village, which exists under his bed inside a crusty sock• Art imitates life: Hooters jumps aboard Big Brown with sponsorship deal And the winning title is 'Hooters Unicorns Are Horny' from Pete Postma, Alexandria, VA

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/30: Greg recalls the summer when he forced Unicorn Jones to play lacrosse so he could wear the cool uniforms at home during playtime• Art imitates life: Lacrosse fans in one B.C. community ordered to stay silent during games

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/29:Greg's interpretation of who Woody Harrelson believes his real parents are: a unicorn and a magical puffin that lives inside the armpit of character actor Ernest Borgnine• Art imitates life: Woody Harrelson: I want to starve for 40 days

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/20: Greg draws the first couple that met on the unicorn online dating service, e-corn.com. Unfortunately, the date ended badly: Turned out he was bipolar, had forgotten his medications and threw her off a cliff• Art imitates life: Chicago couple blazed the trail for Internet love

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/16: Greg recalls an awkward period when Unicorn Jones developed 'man-boobs' back in his late teens. It wasn't until he found a qualified plastic surgeon that he was able to roam shirtless along with the other woodland creatures• Art imitates life: Boobs vs. 'moobs': British court ruling sparks censorship debate

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/15: Everything Greg learned about women, he learned from Unicorn Jones (pictured aged 2). For example: Women smell like wondrous rainbows and can turn coal or dirt into magical tasting pixie dust. Also, they can break your spirit and turn you into an empty shell of a man• Art imitates life: Everything I know about women...

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/10: Greg's favorite political figure: Senator Unicorn Jones, just days before she won a state seat in Vermont. She had just posed topless for Uniboy, a skin magazine for unicorns, sprites, elves and other woodland creatures • Art imitates life: Berlusconi's babes ruffle a few feathers

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/8: The day before Unicorn Jones gave birth. The child belonged to former New York Met, Keith Hernandez• Art imitates life: Wife: A-Rod fainted at daughter's birth

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/6: Did you know Unicorn Jones was a hula girl in Maui? Greg met him on a business trip and they shared some mahi-mahi in Greg's hotel hot tub• Art imitates life: Hawaiian sovereignty seekers take over palace grounds

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    5/2: Unicorn Jones' prom picture back when he attended Happy Forest High in Woodland Creature Village, located under Greg's bed, in between his shoebox full of crusty socks and a worn out copy of Blue Boy. Unicorn wore a Raffinatti tuxedo and his date, Fluffy McNutter, donned a glamorous evening gown by Jovani• Art imitates life: Lacrosse players disciplined for bare-bottomed prom invite

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    4/30: Greg draws the time when Unicorn Jones used to play for the Boston Rainbow Unis and he fell for country music singer Fluffy McNutry, when she was only seven• Art imitates life: Report: Mindy McCready Confirms Affair With Roger Clemens

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    4/24: Greg recreates when Unicorn Jones ran his own polygamy compound, where he had 16 wives. He was later excommunicated when it was found out that unicorns are mythical woodland creatures and cannot bear human children• Art imitates life: DNA Testing of Polygamist Sect Children Completed

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    4/24: Here's what Unicorn Jones looked like before he entered Yale as an incoming freshman and how he looked after just two semesters. He went from a vibrant, muscular unicorn/Pegasus creature to an angry fat feminist with ankles the size of tree trunks• Art imitates life: Yale Pulls Student's 'Abortion Art' Project From Exhibit Opening

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    3/20: Greg's favorite gas station: Unee-Cal in San Mateo, run by an authentic unicorn. For every full tank of gas you pay for, you get a My Little Pony theme glass, along with an ounce of fairy dust• Art imitates life: Alleged sex-for-gas agreement ends with man stabbed

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    3/7: The two most recent UFOs Greg saw: They were circling above his bunk bed, inviting him to visit their happy planet, Unicornia• Art imitates life: Spooky Site Steven Spielberg to Launch Paranormal Social Network

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    3/6: Unicorn Jones, aged 11, was an avid skateboarder, but also suffered from acne, which made him unpopular among other unicorns in Heavenly Unicorn Village• Art imitates life: Study: British Think Age 11 Is Cutoff for Childhood

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    2/26: The last flight that Unicorn Jones and Fluffy McNutter went on. They were on Southwest, on their way to a bachelorette party in Boca Raton, dressed provocatively in miniskirts, along with two other of their girlfriends. On the flight, Charlie Sheen hit on them repeatedly• Art imitates life: 'Decent looking' teens tossed from Southwest Airlines flight

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    2/23: Two animals that are medically proven to make your life better: unicorns and cat/dog hybrids. Here Unicorn Jones and Fluffy McNutter are dressed as doctors because, of course, they can cure you of all your ills• Art imitates life: Study links cat ownership to lower heart attack, stroke risks

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    2/12: Greg's ideal draft pick: He's No. 34, Unicorn Jones — 6 foot 10, not including horn. He plays tight end for Magical Cloud Kingdom College, located in a box under Greg's bed• Art imitates life: College recruit's lie a tale gone horribly wrong

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    8/9: Greg's ideal fireman: half firefighter and half unicorn. Greg would call him a Fire-corn or a Uni-fighter. Or just call him, Toby -- which is actually his real name• Art imitates life: San Diego Firefighters Claim Harassment

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    8/5: Greg's ideal 'American Idol' contestant: a unicorn in a cheerleading outfit who, instead of using pom-poms, employs the severed heads of Rosie O'Donnell and Barbara Walters • Art imitates life: Thousands Line Up in San Diego for 'American Idol' Season 7 Auditions

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/29: Unicorn Jones sports Harry Potter pin telling everyone not to spoil the ending! • Art imitates life: Harry Potter Author Talks About Ending

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/21: Who better to be romanticized in a movie about his life than Mike Baker? 'Baker's Dozen' would tellthe story of how Baker saved 12 teenage orphans from a brutal sex slave trade… only to employ them as his own personal sex slaves • Art imitates life: Benicio del Toro Set to Play 'Che' Guevara

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/19: Who could be impersonating Bigfoot? Why none other than actor and director Gael Garcia Bernal. Gael speaks five languages, including the language of Bigfoot. He also is quite hairy and likes to dance• Art imitates life: Team Arrives in Michigan's Upper Peninsula to Begin Bigfoot Search

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC
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    7/17: Greg's perfect dating service: one that matches singer/songwriters to shapely unicorns• Art imitates life: Hello stranger, are you sick enough for me?

    Greg Gutfeld/FNC

 

 

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