Here is my list of five things you should not say to a pregnant woman in ascending order:
Number 5: Don't tell us how fat or out of shape you feel. We're packing at least 25 extra pounds as we deal with nausea, back pain, swelling, and a host of other unmentionables … and frankly, we just don't want to hear it.
Number 4: Don't tell us "it looks like we're having a girl." We all know what that means -- they say "girls steal your beauty." Well, they don't steal your hearing!
Number 3: Don't "kid" us about our condition. "Wide load coming thru!" is not funny. "Waddle on out of here" does not amuse. Ellen DeGeneres has a good rule on kidding. If we're not both laughing, you're doing it wrong.
P.S. And please don't joke that the pregnant meteorologist is blocking the weather map. Turns out, that's insulting.
Number 2: And I cannot stress this enough. … don't guess the due date. “Is that a Christmas baby?” Ummm, no -- April. “You sure? It looks like New Year's at the latest.” Please stop talking.
You see, pregnant women -- especially the second time around -- get bigger faster and we don't want to play the guessing game.
If you ask me when I'm due and I'm vague, just be quiet. We both know you're wondering how I got so big so fast. You see, I would be smaller, but I have another human being developing inside of me.
And the number one rule in dealing with a pregnant woman…
Don't comment on our bodies. Ever. Really. But especially when we're pregnant. What is it about a baby bump that makes people feel it's okay to say things like "God! You are big!!!"???
And don't say we look small either. That just makes us worry that something's wrong with our baby.
Whatever our bodies look like, it's our business. As for your thoughts? Keep them to yourself.Consider this age-old chestnut instead: "you look great."