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Valerie Bertinelli was eager for a change before turning 60.
The actress, who celebrated her birthday on April 23, normally focuses on shedding some pounds, a decades-long challenge she has endured. But this year was different.
“Gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight — I’d never dealt with any of the emotions,” Bertinelli told People magazine on Thursday.
The former “One Day at a Time” star, who is now the host of “Valerie’s Home Cooking” on the Food Network, revealed she has always struggled with self-acceptance — even as a child.
“I was always trying to be better. Thinner. Nicer. Prettier,” said Bertinelli. “I remember my fifth-grade teacher patted me on the belly and said, ‘You might want to keep an eye on that.’ That was the first time I became really aware of my body.”
Valerie Bertinelli has been on a long journey to self-acceptance. (Dominik Bindl/Getty Images)
“My mom had me these green hot pants with a bib,” she recalled. “I was wearing green tights and a turtleneck. I thought I was stylin’. Now I think: ‘how dare he?’ At that age we’re so full of joy and then to have someone slap you for nothing. For just standing there. Now I can be angry for that little girl. It feels like so much time wasted. I don’t want anyone else to waste any time.”
Bertinelli told the outlet that it would take years, even after achieving fame on television, to learn that lesson. Even during her teen years on “One Day at a Time,” she said: “I was made to feel like I could lose a few, like, let’s see if we can get you into a smaller size.”
These days, Bertinelli said she’s trying to let go of the scale.
“I don’t weigh myself as much anymore,” she said. “I’ll put on some jeans every once in a while to see how they feel. Why do I have to know what number I am? I know it’s really about the internal work.”
Bertinelli said that watching women like Lizzo, Ashley Graham and Nabela Noor on social media have inspired her.
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Valerie Bertinelli during the 'One Day at a Time' wrap party in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)
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“It would have been nice to have had women like that when I was growing up, to look up to,” she explained. “It doesn’t freakin’ matter what size they are. They glow from within. Thank God for them.”
As for Graham, 32, Bertinelli remarked: “She is stunningly beautiful. I’m like why is she a plus-size model. She’s a model and she’s stunning.”
The star hopes that her personal journey will inspire other women to create their own paths toward self-acceptance.
“If I can help somebody be kind to themselves, hopefully, that will help me be kind to myself too. And my hope is I can connect with someone who needs to hear my story.”
On Wednesday, Bertinelli told the outlet she still has bittersweet memories from her time wearing a bikini for the first time in almost 30 years.
Valerie Bertinelli on the 2009 cover of People magazine. (People magazine)
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It was 2009 and the actress was about to turn 49 when she decided to flaunt her 40-pound weight loss on the cover of People magazine, which she credited to being on the Jenny Craig diet for nine months and “countless stomach crunches.”
“There’s a lot of pride and a lot of shame associated with that cover,” said Bertinelli. “I worked really, really, really hard. Physically, definitely. I wish to God I had worked just as hard on my mental shape. But when I don’t work on what’s eating me, I’m going to start eating.”
According to Bertinelli, 11 years later she was determined to do “the mental and emotional work” associated with her complicated relationship with food.
“… I wanted to lose 10 [more] pounds for my 60th birthday — and then it became much more than that,” she explained. “It became, ‘I’d like to lose the weight, but I may never lose the weight. How do I love me for who I am right now? Today. At this body. At this age.’”
“That means you have to do the internal work,” Bertinelli continued. “I’ve been really good at covering it up and eating through it. It’s just… I’d like to be good at something else now.”
Bertinelli hopes her story will encourage others to not struggle with the scale, but rather learn to embrace their body at any size.
“So many kind people have reached out to me, and said, ‘I feel that way too,’” said Bertinelli. “It’s overwhelming. It would be a gift to connect with people and hopefully have them feel good about themselves. Treating each other with kindness starts with ourselves.
As for that famous green string bikini, Bertinelli told the outlet she still has it. The swimsuit is tucked away in a closet drawer.
“The funny thing is, the green bikini was a size large,” she said. “Even at the lowest weight I’ve been in decades, I was still wearing a large. Everybody’s shape is what we should be celebrating.”
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