Mandy Moore couldn’t be herself when she was with Ryan Adams.

“I wasn’t a participant in my own life for awhile,” Moore, 32, told People. “I poured so much of myself into my personal life and when that wasn’t as fruitful as I hoped it would be and I extricated myself from that situation, I was able to realize I wasn’t honoring myself and my dreams and what I wanted in life.”

It wasn’t always ugly, she pointed out, but it wasn’t meant to be.

“There was a period in my life when it was so beautiful,” she said, “and I had this really fascinating person [through whom] I got to see a completely different perspective on the world … My story deviated in a different direction than I expected. But ultimately, life is about being happy and fulfilled and sometimes that means making hard choices.”

One of those hard choices was her divorce from the singer, 41, with the custody battle over the pair’s pets proving particularly difficult.

“There are moments of being curled up in a ball on the floor,” Moore admitted. “It’s really hard. But I’ve moved on and progressed in the stages of grief and being angry and feeling the loss and all that. I do believe things happen for a reason. And I think I had that mantra moving through the trying times.”

Despite those trying times, Moore, who is currently dating musician Taylor Goldsmith, wouldn’t change a thing.

“You couldn’t pay me to go back five or ten years ago,” she said. “Having gone through trials and tribulations has brought me to this place today. I feel so much lighter. And I’m growing into the best version of myself.”

This article originally appeared in the New York Post's Page Six.