Jana Kramer is still feeling uneasy about placing her full trust in her husband Mike Caussin after the former NFL tight end received a topless picture from a mystery woman and proceeded to delete it without informing her.
The singer and actress said she made an attempt to contact the unknown woman and realized that it might not have actually been a real person but was, instead, a bot.
The “One Tree Hill” alum discussed the couple’s recent relationship struggles on Monday during their podcast “Whine Down.”
"Because of where I'm still at with it, it's made my anxiety worse," Kramer said about the incident when she was taken aback by her husband sharing on their show (via E! News). "It's made me feel more confused and it's just kind of, like, put more salt in the wound."
Kramer said she understood Caussin’s willingness to be forthcoming in order to help others, but also noted that the couple choosing to reveal their turbulence was a “massive lesson learned” on not always sharing personal matters in real-time.
"There are people out there who think Mike actually cheated," she said on the podcast. Caussin has vehemently promised his wife that it "won't happen again," a plea Kramer said she has "heard so many times."
"I think maybe now he sees how bad that wound is for me and the trauma of finding things – whether he did something or not," said Kramer. "I'm to the point of, like, literally a nervous breakdown, where I just can't physically handle it anymore."
However, despite Caussin’s constant contrition to his wife of over four years, Kramer told the ex-professional athlete that she doesn’t believe he can remain on the straight-and-narrow.
"I told Michael the other day, I was just like, I don't believe that there won't be another time, and that sucks too, like, have to feel that," she lamented. "How do I believe that when I've heard so many times, ‘I'll never do it again. I'll never do it again?' So, it kind of puts me in this really awkward situation, and it makes me look weak and to have to be, like, continuing to stick around, whether he did something or he didn't. I believe that he didn't. I know it wasn't a real person. I know all of those things. It doesn't matter."
Kramer maintained that the real “trauma” for her is in the consistency that she keeps “finding things out,” and drove home the point that she’s just tired of it at this point.
"I need him to understand how deep that wound is for me when I discover something, whether he did something or not," she said. "That is just like – it's painful. And I just can't physically hold that anymore."
Caussin revealed that he regretted going public with the incident, adding that he was hurt to learn of people questioning his sex addiction in social media comments made to Kramer. Caussin said he rarely sees them because he isn’t on social media.
"Right now, I mean, all I can do is be as empathetic as I can with you and understanding and do whatever I need to do [to] create safety around things," Caussin told his wife.
However, Kramer still voiced her concern that she and Caussin live in a revolving cycle of lies and despair surrounding Caussin’s pattern of behavior.
"I think, again, what's scary is the what happens the next time for me," she said, "because I just know I can't – and, again, no matter what it is. And I think that's hard, but that's my truth with it, you know?"