'Cherry Pie' girl Bobbi Brown: 'I wanted to shoot myself'
She was the sexy "Cherry Pie" girl in hair metal band Warrant's infamous music video. Bobbi Brown became an overnight pinup when the video went into heavy rotation on MTV. She even married Jani Lane, lead singer of Warrant but the union unraveled quickly. Next came an engagement to Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee who married Pamela Anderson less than a week after they split.
In a thoroughly candid and uncensored memoir, "Dirty Rocker Boys," Brown recounts it all. The drugs, the men, the rock and roll. She spoke to FOX411 about everything.
'90s music video vixens: Where are they now?
FOX411: It's pretty amazing the opportunities that you blew.
Bobbi Brown: Oh yeah, an audition with Steven Speilberg to be in "Hook," an audition to be in "Casino" with Robert de Niro, I had a record deal with Britney Spears' label. I was initially signed to the label and I screwed that up and then she got signed, all kinds of things. I was supposed to be in an Adam Sandler movie, cover of Playboy - screwed that up, it just goes on and on.
Honestly the regret I lived in for a decade was a miserable place to be. It really was, all the opportunities were just a reminder of what I could have done and how stupid I was, I wanted to shoot myself. Thank God for this second time around, I've been given this opportunity to come back, not everyone gets given that second chance, so I'm really grateful.
FOX411: Everything seemed to fall into your lap so quickly, I'm sure you thought, "Well another opportunity will come my way."
Brown: One hundred percent. I always had that mentality, that if I screw something up, something else will come along. Looking back I'm like, "What was I thinking?"
FOX411: You were engaged to Tommy Lee.
Brown: Yeah he married Pamela Anderson four days after we broke up. It devastated me for years. That ruined me. That's when I went into the biggest downward spiral of my life. Back then it was the most depressing time. Now, I look back on it as the most fun because I just didn't give a shit.
FOX411: Did you feel like you'd been traded in for a different model?
Brown: I didn't think about it from his perspective. I didn't really know who he was because everything that he had said to me, he'd just proven to be the complete opposite. I was like, "Was that a f---king dream? Is he for real?"
FOX411: Your daughter spent a lot of time with your mother growing up. Do you feel guilty about that?
Brown: Yes, I still have guilt to this day. My daughter is so smart and ahead of her time. She's always understood. She's never resented me for that, thank God. My mom was an amazing mother. It sucks that I didn't have my sh-t together all the time. I felt it was the best decision as a mom to make. I wanted what was best for her, and I never wanted her to be part of any struggle.
First I was a coke addict, then a meth addict on and off for at least a decade. I'd quit for a year then I'd relapse. It would be like that. I went to rehab several times and eventually I bottomed out. I was able to get a hold of it and say, "Oh I need to f---king quit this sh-t." I made myself prioritize my life.
It also had a lot to do with gaining weight. You get spoiled from the three day turn around you have when you're in your 20s. It doesn't happen that way when you get older.
FOX411: So you did meth to lose weight?
Brown: Yes, totally! In the modeling industry, when I had to do a swim suit job in a week and had to be eight pounds thinner, if I took meth it would come off in three days. I'd also be staying up all night and be super sleep deprived and then I would get too thin and I'd show up at the shoot and they'd go, "Whoa you're too thin." I never thought I was too thin, I thought they were crazy.
FOX411: Do you worry about your weight now?
Brown: Yeah all the time. I feel like a fat cow. People are always insulting me online. It's hard to compete with your former self. I'm not fat but compared to what I was in my 20s. I aged, it's been 24 years. I've tried to explain that to people like of course I don't look the same. It sucks but then again what am I doing about it? Not much. I talk about it every day but have I joined a gym? No.
FOX411: It seems like L.A. can be a really hard place to live in.
Brown: People are all competing. Everyone's an opportunist. I'm from a small town where people genuinely care about each other and our word is golden. It's pretty devastating that here everybody just wants something so you learn the hard way if you don't have a support team. I was here alone nobody was trying to help me or tell me what was right. I've never seen so much betrayal from people in my life. They'll steal from you, they'll lie to you, they'll f--k your boyfriend, your husband. I never encountered such betrayal till I moved here.
FOX411: You had a one night stand with a young Leonardo Di Caprio but didn't finish the deed.
Brown: From what I remember he was huge and not what I expected, maybe compared to his small teenage body it was huge and it wouldn't be that way now. He was a little too excited. I just said, "F--k it," and gave up and pushed him off me. I told him to forget about it and I went upstairs and never came back down.