This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 29, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino, along with Kennedy, Juan Williams, Jesse Waters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is “The Five.”

Fox News alert, Attorney General William Barr telling Congress it will be send -- he will send them the 400 page Mueller report by mid-April, if not sooner. Barr saying that portions of the special counsel's findings, they're going to have to be redacted including materials subject to criminal procedures and intelligence community sources and methods.

The attorney general adding that the White House will not be reviewing the report before it's sent to Capitol Hill, and this is part is getting a lot of attention. Barr saying some are -- mischaracterizing his four page summary. He says the summary was only about principle conclusions and nothing more.

Barr also said he is willing to testify before Congress after the report is made public and he gave them a couple of dates for that. President Trump reacting to the news just moments ago.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: Well, I have great confidence in the attorney general. And if that's what he'd like to do, I have nothing to hide. This was a hoax. This was a witch-hunt. I have absolutely nothing to hide.

And I think a lot of things are coming out with respect to the other side. But, I have a lot of confidence in the attorney general.


PERINO: All right, Jesse, this is getting a lot of attention because when -- this week we've been reporting that the Justice Department says it will be weeks, not months, that people will get to see this full report. But now we know it's really just a couple of weeks. It's not -- like, eight weeks.

And then the attorney general says and I'm willing to come up and explain it all to you. I will testify in front of Congress. And still Chairman Nadler, he's mad.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Right. Barr is a total pro. He's got his eyes on the road, got the hands on the wheel. And the Democrats -- yeah, the Democrats, the kids in the back, are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there? He's not even listening. He's just gonna get to the destination --

PERINO: Don't make me pull this car over.

WATTERS: Don't make me pull this car over, kids. He's doing everything by the book. I think he has impeccable credentials. And the Democrats are really setting themselves up for even more disappointment when they do see as much as they can and there still is no collusion.

I'm kind of confuse as to what they're actually alleging is going on, like Barr is in a criminal conspiracy to cover up Russian collusion with Rod Rosenstein and the rest of the Department of Justice. I just don't think that's true. Can we make a trip down what about-ism lane?


WATTERS: OK. In the intersection --

PERINO: Jesse, take the wheel.

WATTERS: -- of conspiracy and cover-up, OK? Jesse, take the wheel. How about when Hillary bleached 30,000 emails, or destroyed all of the blackberries with a hammer, or when her husband met with the woman investigating her on a tarmac and everybody pled the fifth? And everybody got immunity deals. Permission to go a little farther down the --


WATTERS: OK. How about when the IRS destroyed tons of servers, or when the A.G., at the time, Holder was held in contempt for not disclosing all the information about fast and furious? Where all the contractors of Benghazi were made to sign NDA's?

That would sounded like a little bit more of a cover up than the evidence that there's a cover up going on right now. I would just let the Democrats remind them what they've said then which was absolutely nothing.

PERINO: All right, Juan. I'm going to give you a chance to reverse from that lane if you'd like -- we're going to stop the metaphor right there. Do you think that this gets the Democrats a little bit closer to what they need? Which is they say they want to see it.

They're obviously concerned that there will be redactions with regards to material that is subject to the Grand Jury or anything that would hurt a third party that was on peripheral, and also anything that's intelligence- related? But this gets them a little bit closer to where they've wanted to be.

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Well, Jerry Nadler, the chairman, had a conversation with Bill Barr earlier this week. And he said he wasn't satisfied in that conversation because Barr indicated to him that there would be redactions in whatever is released. And he said at that time he thought it would be, again, mid-April, which is what he confirmed in this letter today.

But what's the news out of the letter for people who are looking at it as Trump critics, is that he said that people are overvaluing the earlier missive, which was simply said here's the bottom line in terms of conspiracy and obstruction. He says it was not intended to be an exhaustive report on what Mueller had found.

PERINO: Right. He says in this letter he says as my letter made clear, my notification to Congress and the public provided, pending release of the report, a summary of its principle conclusion and that is its bottom line. Of course, which we know is no collusion. And then on the obstruction piece --

WILLIAMS: Right. But the thing about that is that it has provided jest of the opportunity to jump up and down and take the wheel for the last week. So I think there're a lot of people who think you know what? Bob Barr -- William Barr, I should say, has done a tremendous service to the president and his supporters because they've allowed them now to treat this as if it's a fait accompli. It's all done. We know what the bottom line is

When in fact there may be tremendous amount of evidence -- there're maybe tremendous amount of testimony, although, again, we're not sure. We'll see grand jury testimony indicating that there was involvement. It just didn't rise to the level of indictment and prosecution. But that's, you know, a nuances at this point.

But nonetheless, I think today is good news. I would say this to people on the left. I don't think that you should get excited and expect that, you know, you've got to dial back your expectations. I don't think it's going to be damning even in the full report.

And people on the right, I would say, dial back the idea that you think, as President Trump says, this is total vindication because I don't think that's what's coming.

PERINO: Kennedy, are you dialing up or dialing down, dialing back, forward, reverse?

KENNEDY, HOST: I'm on neutral on most of these things because I have very low expectations of government officials by and large. And I'm never surprised by the process or the ability of either side to politicize even the tiniest piece of news. But what I will say about William Barr, I don't share your universal blanket of love for the attorney general.

You know, he's a fine pick. He wasn't my first choice. He's got some issues in his past. This must be a very different time from when he served under George H.W. Bush. I mean, he must be just overwhelmed.

WATTERS: I would say he's better than Jeff Sessions.

KENNEDY: But I don't see why he would completely undermine his own reputation by putting out a false summary of the Mueller report. That does not serve him at all in the slightest. And he's also not someone -- he's not going to seek the presidency. It doesn't seem as though he's got these grand political aspirations.

And, also, special counsel is helping with the redactions. And if this were so completely counter to what Robert Mueller and his team had been doing for the last few years they would have come out because they're done. They would have come out and said, no, no, no, that is a mischaracterization and they are working on the redactions --

PERINO: So, Greg, we gave you some time to get revved up. Ready for --

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Why would I need time, Dana?

PERINO: I don't know.

GUTFELD: Are you suggesting that there's something going on with me?

PERINO: I know that you wanted to digest this information and --

GUTFELD: You're using the word digest. It's unfair. I might have a little issue right now that is not the public's business. And I would refrain from bringing it up again. Look, all this news is basically table scraps for a bitter media where you will see redactions. They will scream conspiracy.

They'll -- Rachel Maddow will break out the white board because this is their business model. I predict not only will they find collusion and obstruction. They will get -- find the location of big foot and the lost city of Atlantis, which I believe is somewhere outside Denver.

So this is going to keep going because the media wants to keep this going because it's their business model. And who benefits from this? Russia. Because let's not forget the primary goal of Russia was to undermine our institutions. It wasn't about electing Trump. It wasn't about electing anybody. It was about screwing with our mentality. Making us question everything --

PERINO: And to hate each other.

GUTFELD: Yeah. And foment chaos. And who's fulfilling the Russian's goal? Media and the Democrats. Except Juan is correct, the ones that dial back their expectations and move on are doing the right thing.

WILLIAMS: You know what I would say at this moment? Bill Barr is so much the focus of all our attention. And Bill Barr, you've got to remember from -- at least from my perspective, campaigned for this job and said that he believed in extensive presidential power.

PERINO: I don't know if campaign was the right --

WILLIAMS: He wrote a letter, Dana.


WATTERS: Are you suggesting that there's a politician involved in this?


WILLIAMS: No, no, no.


GUTFELD: I'm going to go further. Have you ever seen Mr. Barr and Steve Bannon together at the same time? Who do you think? Bannon with glasses?

WILLIAMS: No, no, no. I think he ate him.

PERINO: Permission to make a comparison, Jesse? Permission granted?

WATTERS: Allowed.

PERINO: I think Bill Barr as a former attorney general who did not anticipated going back, I don't think he's applying for the job. Did not want unnecessary leave like his life as he had it to go back into government --

WATTERS: Yeah, to the Trump campaign. Not a lot of people wanted to do that.

PERINO: But he's a lawyer. He's a lawyer's lawyer. He's like, I've got some thoughts on this, jots them down and sends them over. It would be like -- let's say that if I -- didn't have the job that I have now, but I was in PR practice and I was like, you know, I've some advice and thoughts for Sarah Sanders. I'm just going to shoot her a little letter. Does that sound like I'm campaigning to be in a job?

KENNEDY: No. But you've written two books and one of them was largely about your time as press secretary for the president.

PERINO: Yes, and they're still available on Amazon.


GUTFELD: One about a dog, by the way, named Jasper in case you've guys have forgotten.

WILLIAMS: He wrote a letter and sent it to White House counsel that is involved directly in this matter, Dana. I think that takes it to a different level.

PERINO: Or maybe he would have to answer such a question.

GUTFELD: It goes all the way to the top, Dana, all the way to the top.

PERINO: All the way to the top.

GUTFELD: Space aliens. Big foot.

PERINO: All right. She's going to yell at me. Up next, we'll have much more on Attorney General Barr saying he's going to send the Mueller report to Congress by mid-April just when your taxes are due. Plus, President Trump's latest attack on Democrats over Russia collusion.


WATTERS: This is a Fox News alert. We're following the breaking news out of Washington. Attorney General William Barr saying Congress will have a redacted version of the nearly 400 page Mueller report by mid- April, if not sooner. Amid the breaking news about the Mueller report, President Trump unleashing on Democrats last night for pushing the collusion narrative.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: After three years of lies and smears and slander, the Russia hoax is finally dead.


TRUMP: The collusion delusion is over.


TRUMP: The special counsel completed its report and found no collusion and no obstruction. The Democrats have to now decide whether they will continue defrauding the public with ridiculous (BLEEP)



WATTERS: And Congressman Adam Schiff who still insists there was collusion, got some special Trump treatment with a brand new nickname.


TRUMP: Little pencil neck Adam Schiff, got the smallest, thinnest neck I've ever seen.


TRUMP: He is not a long ball hitter. But I saw him today, well, we don't really know, there could still have been some Russia collusion.


TRUMP: Sick. Sick. These are sick people.


WATTERS: Nancy Pelosi is coming to Schiff's defense though saying Republicans that are going after him are just afraid.


REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF., HOUSE SPEAKER: I'm so proud of the work of Chairman Adam Schiff, in stark contrast to the irresponsible, almost criminal behavior of the previous chair of the committee. So what is the president afraid of? I think they're just scaredy-cats.


WATTERS: OK. Juan, do the Democrats risk any credibility here when after Mueller, and we're going to see the report eventually, concludes no collusion and they continue to hit the collusion narrative and Trump just keeps whacking him?

WILLIAMS: No. I mean --


WILLIAMS: Remember, one, you made the most important point. We haven't seen the report. What we've seen is that Bill Barr said that it didn't rise. Whatever evidence that Mueller collected did not rise to the point where he could point to a conspiracy. And he left open the question --

WATTERS: More coordination.

WILLIAMS: So here, to me -- but I just -- you know, two things. One is I expected a victory parade yesterday.


WILLIAMS: Instead, it looked to me like a rerun of a Trump rally from 2016, and it looked, you know, I'm going to ask you guys a question. I don't want to be come across as prudish but I don't like my president using that kind of profanity in front of a large audience and people in general.

And I think this whole business with pencil neck Schiff I think it's petty and boorish.

WATTERS: OK. Pencil neck aside, if Barack Obama, Kennedy, had used the words that Trump uses like that we just bleeped would you be offended?

KENNEDY: It's really hard to offend me. Absolutely -- but, you know, it is --

GUTFELD: I did during the break.


WATTERS: Let's not bring that up again.


KENNEDY: We're having a great time. God bless his soul. I miss you, dad. He knows, it's fine. So --

WATTERS: The language? The nicknames? What do you think?

KENNEDY: I'm not a huge fan of this nickname. I thought on the grand scale of nicknames this one was a little bit mean.

WATTERS: Did you think he could have done better? Oh, it was mean.

KENNEDY: It was a little mean because there's nothing you can do about your neck like little Marco Rubio.

WATTERS: There's nothing you can do about crooked either.


WATTERS: She's just plain crooked.

KENNEDY: Many choices about her crookedness. She could have made many choices in her past and not compromised herself completely as a human being, but she didn't make those choices.

WATTERS: OK. So Kennedy not fully satisfied with pencil neck. Dana, what do you think? You're not a fan.

PERINO: I don't like the nicknames even though -- remember the only one I liked --

WATTERS: I forget.

PERINO: -- little rocket man. That one I really liked. On the point of the Adam Schiff, nine Republicans on the House Intelligence Committee came together and all unanimously said he should step down as chairman. To me, that was significant because it wasn't like you had Devin Nunes on the committee saying, oh, he should have step down.

Or if you had somebody like Jim Jordan or Mark Meadows who are on TV, or Matt Gaetz on TV defending the president all the time. You see people who were in the intelligence community actually worked for us in the intelligence community like Will Hurd, Elise Stefanik. It wasn't hard for them to get to the point of saying, yeah, he should step down. So substantively I thought like that spoke some voluminous --

WILLIAMS: Can I quickly jump in and say nobody called for Devin Nunes to step down even though he engaged in much worse --

PERINO: I'm sure they did.

WATTERS: And Nunes got killed by the way, Juan. Killed by the Democrats and the media for doing nothing. And he was right the whole time.

WILLIAMS: -- stooge for the White House. But nobody called --

WATTERS: Schiff was a stooge for Brennan.

WILLIAMS: You missed my point. Nobody called for him to step down. Trey Gowdy, five years on Benghazi. Anybody say, hey, give it up? Step down?

WATTERS: OK. Let me ask you, Greg.


WATTERS: People like Swalwell and people like Schiff rode this collusion wave to the top. It raised their profile, they've raised a lot of money off of this, and now that it's kind of evaporated don't you think they deserve to get whacked?

GUTFELD: This is a great point because that wasn't a victory lap. It was a victory butt kicking. There's a great article in the Atlantic by either McKay Coppins, or McCoffins McKay, or McKay B. Coffins K.


PERINO: I love that one.

GUTFELD: Yes, it was about the collusion business model all these guys making money and building twitter followers and writing books. A guy name Seth Abramson. All these like charlatans. And so -- I think it's going to be interesting right now. I was at the gym -- not right now.

WATTERS: You look great.

GUTFELD: Thank you by the way. I almost got sick on the stair climber watching CNN. They're running out of stuff. They did -- they reported a poll that said that Trump is seen by the majority as ill tempered. That's what they were talking about for like 10 minutes. So they went from he's a spy to, you know, he's really mean.


KENNEDY: Yeah. And Schiff did the same thing. Schiff downgraded from conspiracy and collusion to coordination, maybe communication. By the way, who got a special shout out from the president last night?

GUTFELD: Yes, Greg Jarret, I believe. You know what it is? They went from Kobe beef to like, you know, tofu dogs.

WATTERS: You've really come around, Greg.

WILLIAMS: Oh, boy.

WATTERS: All right --

WILLIAMS: Oh, boy.

WATTERS: -- giving us a preview of what's to come in the 2020 races, more from his explosive rally last night.


WATTERS: I knew that. I knew that.

KENNEDY: Jesse got the name of the band wrong, just say no.

PERINO: Gin Blossoms.

GUTFELD: Gin Blossoms.

KENNEDY: All right. It is game on for -- is it close?

GUTFELD: I don't think so.

WILLIAMS: I don't think it's close.

KENNEDY: Game on for President Trump now that collusion is in his rearview mirror. In an explosive rally the president giving us a preview of what's to come this campaign season by taking aim at Democrats and their radical agenda, watch.


TRUMP: The Democrat Party has never been further outside of the mainstream. They are being brought so far left. Radical Democrats are the party of high taxes, open borders, late-term abortion, crime, hoaxes, and delusions.


KENNEDY: Oh, the president also mocking his opponent for pushing the Green New Deal.


TRUMP: I'd rather not talk about it tonight because I don't want to talk them out of it too soon because I love campaigning against the Green New Deal. I want them to make that a big part of their platform. No more airplanes, no more cows, one car per family.


KENNEDY: All right. He even had some fun at Democrats' expense on wind power.


TRUMP: If Hillary got in you'd be doing wind, wind mills, and if it doesn't -- if it doesn't blow, you can forget about television for that night. Darling, I want to watch television. I'm sorry, the wind isn't blowing.


TRUMP: I know a lot about wind.



KENNEDY: He does. Beautiful wind. So, Greg, it looks like you want to make some wind right now.

GUTFELD: Ah, the strong wind will be coming your way shortly. He's like an arena rock band, right? And now he's got some new songs because we -- you know, build the wall used to be free bird. And lock her up was stairway to heaven. But now he's got the collusion delusion which sounds like a guns and roses album, by the way.

KENNEDY: Use your collusion one.

GUTFELD: Yeah. But not the Gin Blossoms. And Green New Deal is now kind of now replacing his lock her up. I also have to say -- I actually don't mind the swearing from before if you do it sparingly. And I think it's good to break that seal. We all swear.

So why do we pretend like we don't swear. Also, I can't stop thinking about Adam Schiff's neck. So it works. Do you know what I mean? I never thought about his neck. Now I'm thinking about his neck. The one thing I missed from this rally he should have thanked Vlad, like in the middle.

And you could hear -- you could hear Michael Moore's head explode. David Frum's head explode. Tom Arnold's head explode. And he -- just move on. I just like to thank Vlad and just move on.

KENNEDY: Doesn't Tom Arnold want to fight you.

GUTFELD: I hope so. Either that or run away together.


KENNEDY: No judgement. So, Dana, the Green New Deal -- the president -- he's not even joking about that. He would love to run against that. And the fact that all of the Democrat senators who are running for president went on the record to endorse and support it, I think has been a gift to this president.

PERINO: And Hillary Clinton's daughter Chelsea Clinton sent a tweet to the president today saying, actually, that's not how wind power works, and here's a link to your own energy department explaining it to you. But I'm pretty sure the president is not going to care about that. Can I nerd out for just one second about this rally?

GUTFELD: Just one second?

PERINO: Something --

GUTFELD: How about eight years?

PERINO: Something different about this rally than his rallies in 2016. Does anybody know what it is?

KENNEDY: He sweated more.

PERINO: In 2016 they did not have a mechanism on the Trump campaign to gather information on anybody who wanted to come in, right? So now what's different is that Brad Parscale at the Trump campaign has a system where if you want a ticket to the rally you've got to sign in, you've got to register.

And what do you get from that? You have the ability then to contact them throughout the campaign whether small dollar donations, getting people to volunteer, put up a sign, maybe make sure your neighbor gets to the voting booth because they only won Michigan by 11,000 votes.

And so, I think that something that -- looks like a hidden story of last night and kind of nerdy but really important, I think. Think how many people -- 25,000 people wanted to get in, they have all that information now.

KENNEDY: That's a great point. But that's a political application of something like -- say metrics in baseball.

WATTERS: Can I continue to nerd out with you?

GUTFELD: Oh, geez.

WATTERS: Because I had Brad Parscale on my show and he told me exactly what he told you. And now that we have the numbers from Michigan, they said about 30 percent of these people at the rally were Democrats. And a massive amount of them were independents and a lot of them were also new voters who had never voted before. And so, they get their cell phones and then they can make those kinds of determinations and he actually said, they are harvesting a million new votes per week in each key swing state across the country. It's a phenomenal job that they're doing out there and they actually said, they're going to start expanding the maps of the Democrats aren't necessarily going to be playing defense in the Rust Belt.

Brad was talking about having them play defense in states like Minnesota and New Mexico. So, I don't think the Democrats are even going to realize what hit them. And to be honest with you, they didn't even really deserve to win the midterms elections, because if you think about why Juan, they had the clout of the Russia hoax hanging over them. They had Republican members of the House retiring early. The base of the Democratic Party was all jacked up from impeachment because of the Russian hoax. If they had settled this thing before the midterms, it might have been a different outcome.

WILLIAMS: Well, to me again what struck me last night is, he spends a whole--

MONTGOMERY: You're jealous.


MONTGOMERY: You're jealous.

WILLIAMS: Jealous of what.

MONTGOMERY: Republicans have someone they really want to--

WILLIAMS: Come on, it's like world wrestling or something. People just say, hey, the spectacle, it's in town, the circus is here. Let me go. That's why I say, for a victory lap, I was somewhat disappointed.

MONTGOMERY: Vince McMahon is worth $3.2 billion.

WILLIAMS: Fine. But I'm just telling you, people will be attracted to a spectacle. It doesn't mean that they're offering political support. We see polls now says like 56 percent of Americans say, I'm not voting for Trump. That's a big number. But let me just say--

MONTGOMERY: Didn't they say that last night?

WILLIAMS: No. He says, I am building the wall. Last night, he went on a larger how he his building the wall, the press won't give him credit. And so, I'm thinking what is going on here. The reality is, there is no funding and he is not building a wall, but he tells people this like it's true. And then he says this in a way that distills his failure to keep his campaign promise. And it's not only on that. You know--

WATTERS: Next week, he's going to Southern California to watch new all construction being built. We watched that on the show Juan, I want to apologize.

GUTFELD: I just I want to talk to Juan's point about the people that come to see Donald Trump. This is a different kind of President. When you talk about President Obama, there was much passion for him from the media. They looked at him with reverence, not because they wanted to hug him but because they wanted to kneel before him.

WATTERS: A Messiah.

GUTFELD: What you're seeing here is the exact opposite. You're actually seeing a human response to a human being. These are people that when they see Donald Trump, I know - they want to hug him because they tell me that, because they actually have a genuine affection for him. So, I wouldn't dismiss this as purely a spectacle. When you see those people there, they're not there because it's a circus. They're there because they like that guy.

WILLIAMS: No. They're there because he pushes the fear button in particular, but says - uses profanities--

GUTFELD: Can't dismiss him like that Juan.

WILLIAMS: Obama was a bad uplift.

MONTGOMERY: Dana, updated to button this up with a nice bow.

PERINO: Ok. So, I was just going to add one thing about these new people that they're finding to nerd out at the end. In El Paso, do you remember when the President went there about like three or four weeks ago and he had a big rally down there.

MONTGOMERY: Had and Beto had a big rally.

PERINO: I think it was saying like 30 percent of the people that came were Democrats. They are union members and they're Hispanic. And now I don't know if they mean they come to the rally and they all of a sudden become dedicated Trump followers, but they're curious enough to come and they've registered, so now they have the information and they're going to be able to talk to them--

MONTGOMERY: And they're going to get more information--


MONTGOMERY: And they will have appeals for donations.

WILLIAMS: One last thing before we go.

MONTGOMERY: More just a moment.

WILLIAMS: I was going to say.

MONTGOMERY: Here's Juan. Yay.

WILLIAMS: All right. I won't say it.


WILLIAMS: President Trump now threatening to shut down the southern border. He says, it will stop illegal immigration. The President, explaining why earlier.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: We have the weakest, the most pathetic, the most laughed at immigration laws anywhere in the world. They're the Democrats laws. And I got stuck with them. We have two brand new caravans coming up if you can believe it, two big ones. We've run out of room. We have this ridiculous catch and release program where you catch him, and then you're supposed to release him. Mexico is going to have to do something otherwise I'm closing the border.


WILLIAMS: Wow. This is what I wanted to talk about Kennedy. So, he says he wants to shut down the southern border. Now, I don't think we're that kind of country. I think maybe after 9/11 we might shut it for a few hours, but we've never done something like this. And it would have tremendous impact on commerce. Remember there are huge trading partner in Mexico. It would have a huge impact--

MONTGOMERY: Oil, strawberries.

WILLIAMS: Well, I don't know what else, but I think there is lots of commerce. And secondly, on workers and American industry again. So, what do you think?

MONTGOMERY: I think that if the President does this by executive fiat that he will be challenged in the courts and he will probably not succeed, as President Obama didn't. And I think this also adds to the confusion which is why so many people are coming over the border and trying to get in, because they're convinced that the border is going to be sealed at some point. And he's absolutely right. Congress has not done their job and they have created so much more chaos and so many more uncertainties.

And if you talk to individual members of Congress. Oh! Yes, well I really want to do something about it, but my colleagues they certainly don't, because they're lazy and they only work 12 days a year. But when the President is forceful and makes these declarations, it only makes more people come over worrying the door is going to shut for good.

WILLIAMS: So, Jesse, we were discussing and going back and forth on the wall, no wall and his rant last night, but here remember he said he didn't have to do the wall, because he just thought if he declared a national emergency, he might do it more quickly, but he didn't have to do it. Now he's saying, I'm going to close the border. Does that strike you as a little bit much?

WATTERS: Well, we have a hot economy. People want to come here, and Mexico is doing absolutely nothing to stop all of these family units from Central America just coming right across their country up north. And you know because of the loopholes, people want to be here because they know they can get amnesty and their kids can get in. And you know they can live a much better life.

But the Democrats are lying about the border just as they were lying about the Russia hoax. We now have Jeh Johnson, who is the DHS Secretary under Barack Obama saying, it's a crisis. You had today on CNN, the Chief of the Customs and Border Patrol Deputy who's Hispanic say, it's an absolute crisis. They don't have the capacity. They don't have the manpower or the infrastructure. They can't handle it. Right now, they're projecting over 100,000 illegal entries this month alone that is over a 10-year high. And if Congress doesn't do anything about it, the President has to act.

WILLIAMS: Well, that's a good point because I think our asylum laws are such that people say that if you can apply for asylum in the United States in terms of fleeing violence or even in terms of saying that you are politically oppressed that you have a right to be in the United States. And secondly, of course there are the laws that say that people coming from Central America as opposed to Mexico are to be treated differently, Dana.

So, from what I'm hearing from both Kennedy and Jesse is, hey, America could solve this problem if we did something about our laws.

PERINO: Absolutely. There's just no question. You could actually do a lot and it probably - they could probably work it out in a weekend, if they were willing to and everyone is going to have to understand, nobody is going to get everything that they want. That's what a compromise is going to be about. But I don't think the President is suggesting shutting down the border because he wants to. I think he very much does not want to. But I think that they're leaving him no choice, because the Homeland Security Secretary is pleading for help. She is saying, I cannot guarantee who is coming into this country. I need help. I don't know what else she can do to try to convince people that she has absolute has to have some help.

Remember what happened with Angela Merkel saying, I'll take a million refugees here in Germany and then we all look at that and go wow that was - ultimately was a terrible decision. They had 100,000 try to cross in March. OK. So, you do 100,000--

WATTERS: We're on pace for over a million this year.

PERINO: Overnight in one year. And what they're saying also is that we want to take care of them. We don't have enough beds to take care of the child.

MONTGOMERY: Poor judges.


PERINO: And Congresswoman Shalala today on the daily briefing said, well, they haven't even staffed up at the border enough. Right because they're in total crisis mode over there and you can't make good decisions when you are in a crisis. And maybe the way to have to get everybody to focus is the President might have to do something as drastic as shutting down the border. I don't think he wants to do it, but I think they're leaving him no choice.

WILLIAMS: But Greg I think part of the problem is, it's become so highly politicized.


WILLIAMS: And it's been politicized for a long time going back to George W. Bush who tried to do something, but now after Trump talks about an invasion, these people are gangsters, they're terrorists, they're rapist. People are like well jeez this is too political.

GUTFELD: He was talking about that within large groups of people there can be unsavory people within it. That's what he's talking about. Trump is - I think Trump is frustrated over that point. The stalemate is purely political. He blames both parties. That's what I think fueled his anger. And I think the Merkel decision is the thing that changed the framing for our country.

Look you can't - Democrats liberals have to understand, you can't have a no fuss border and great government programs. You can't have them at the same time. Right. Because if you want an awesome safety net, you've got to seal the border. The whole country is going to crumble because everybody is going to want to be in the place where there is lots of free stuff.

WILLIAMS: So, to that point.


WILLIAMS: Don't more people in fact I'm thinking here of terrorists come across the northern border. He's not talking about sealing the northern border.

WATTERS: Well, he's not a huge influx of Canadians Juan.

MONTGOMERY: What do Canadians do, if you go to Canada, if you go to some of the border towns, there are people from Mexico and Central America working so what do Canadians do with illegal immigrants who make it all the way through the United States?

GUTFELD: OK. The Dems are Jekyll in hiding this. It's a crisis, it's no crisis, it's a crisis, it's no crisis, only when it suits their needs. I'm with Kamala Harris who tweeted today that this is a humanitarian crisis.

WILLIAMS: Right. I would agree.

GUTFELD: OK. There we are.

WILLIAMS: All right. We have agreement on. Fan Mail Friday, it's up next on THE FIVE.


GUTFELD: I wouldn't say that's Tiki music. I would ask for Tiki music. All right, Fan Mail. First question from Carl Smith. What's the worst thing you've eaten out of politeness? Juan?


GUTFELD: Horse. You eat horse.

WILLIAMS: I didn't want to. It was out of polite.


WILLIAMS: Look at you, you're supposed to be my friend. You're laughing at my - because I ate a horse. This is too much.

WATTERS: I was going to say, a crow. A single show.


WILLIAMS: Serve cold brother. You're going to try some shortly.

GUTFELD: Where did you eat horse?

WILLIAMS: I was in Japan and I was the guest of some fancy Korean people.


WILLIAMS: I had no choice.

GUTFELD: Oh, my goodness. All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: I had Ethiopian food with my hands like sitting Indian style on a mat, like that. And it was horrible. But I was polite.

GUTFELD: Well, that's good. That's good. Dana, you probably--

PERINO: I think lamb.

GUTFELD: You don't like lamb?


GUTFELD: Too gamey.

PERINO: And it's usually rare.

GUTFELD: Too cute. It's hard to eat cute animals.

PERINO: Also, I hate horse, but I didn't know I was eating horse and they did it to see how I would react and then they told me later and I was furious.

WILLIAMS: These are your friends?

PERINO: I'll never forget it Peter and David Hagel.

WILLIAMS: Oh! It was your husband.

WATTERS: By the way, Greg Gutfeld thought veal was an animal.

GUTFELD: Yes, I did.

WATTERS: Like a veal was good. You didn't know.

GUTFELD: Yes. I told you that in the break a while ago.


GUTFELD: That's not for public consumption. Oh, my goodness. I just thought that a veal was like a little smaller version of a lamb or something.

WATTERS: Smaller lamb.

GUTFELD: I didn't realize what it was. I don't eat veal. Anyway, Kennedy.

MONTGOMERY: I eat weird stuff. I like weird stuff. I've eaten pancreas, brain, intestines in Japanese soup. In Japanese culture, they love shocking you with their culinary delights. As long as, it doesn't have gluten, I'll eat.

WILLIAMS: Where did you eat pancreas?

MONTGOMERY: At your house. Beans and a nice canteen.


MONTGOMERY: Sweetbread, that's a sweetbread is.

WILLIAMS: I thought sweetbreads was brains.

MONTGOMERY: Yes. I've had testicular delight.

GUTFELD: I once ate puffin. Do you know what a puffin is?

MONTGOMERY: Yes, they're so cute. Manafort have a coat made out of that.

GUTFELD: Yes. Not anymore. What did your parents want you to be when you grew up, Dana?

PERINO: Out of the house.

WILLIAMS: That's Dana's corny joke of the day.

GUTFELD: Yes. Jesse.

WATTERS: They just wanted me to have health insurance.

GUTFELD: Very good. Kennedy?

MONTGOMERY: I think my dad secretly wanted me to be a lawyer, but he was such a Fox fan. I've told Dana this a bunch of times, when Dana came on my Fox Business show, my dad called me he could not believe that I got Dana Perino to be in my show.

GUTFELD: Wow. Juan, what did your parents want you to be?

WILLIAMS: Well, both my brother and sister are a big-time lawyer and they wanted - they said, why don't you go to graduate school and they really look down. Even my wife's parents thought ink stained wretch you work at The Washington Post; can't you get a job.

GUTFELD: My parents just didn't want me to go to prison.


GUTFELD: And I think I have so far been pretty good except for that brief time in Mexico.

WATTERS: You'll get the Smollett treatment if you ever get busted, don't worry Greg.

GUTFELD: Oh! Thank God. I'm that important. One More Thing is up next More Tiki.


PERINO: Time now for One More Thing. Jesse.

WATTERS: Here's an edition of mom texts. All right. Stop, stop, stop, you're screaming. This President is devious and dishonest and dishonorable. Of course, he needs to be investigated. All right, next one. You are actually throwing out accusations of illegal activity to the Obama administration. You're in a position to do that. Who are you, CIA?

PERINO: Yes, Brennan.

WATTERS: Jesse, please remember that you have spent months defaming and delegitimizing and trashing the efficacy and integrity of the Mueller investigation. So, does it not strike you as just a tad disingenuous and unethical to now embrace its conclusions with glee?

WILLIAMS: Go mom go. Thank you, mom. Mom, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

WATTERS: All right, all right. Dana corrected you about your Michelle Obama statement. You said, she quote called in a favor. That's slander. And when you make incorrect statements like that you are liable.

MONTGOMERY: She's going to sue you.

WATTERS: And this one's hot off the presses from today's show. Nunez was an unethical threat.

WILLIAMS: Thank you.

WATTERS: And then my last one, and Honey speak with the English majors in your family. Your analogies are wretched, and they missed the boat. Thanks Mom.


WATTERS: Also, tonight are Saturday night Brad Pascale, Lara Logan and George Papadopoulos, not Stephanopoulos, Papadopoulos on Watersworld.

GUTFELD: One of those removed.


PERINO: All right. I'm going to go next. So, I am very excited about this. Utah State University, they have an amazing speech and debate team. They have just win and win and win. There they are. Their coach is Tom Morton. He says that they compete against universities with large budgets paid coaching staff and students on scholarships and yet with none of these things we consistently come out as tournament champions. They just recently won the Pi Kappa Delta National Tournament. They defended their title. They are amazing. They all run by volunteers.


PERINO: It's amazing. Congratulations, Utah State University.

GUTFELD: You won't find that on CNN. You won't find it anywhere actually, but here. Sorry. The Greg Gutfeld Show tomorrow 10 PM. Emily Compagno, Jim Florentine, Kat is going to be a great show. OK. Time for this real quick. All right. This is from Boston Dynamics. It's their new robot. It's called the Handle. They are making some creepy stuff at that place. And the thing is they don't return anybody's calls. So, I think Boston Dynamics could be evil and run by actual artificial intelligence. You never see many humans around there. Anyways, it could do back flips by the way.

WATTERS: It looks great.

PERINO: Yes, smashing One More Thing, Greg.

GUTFELD: Thank you. Sorry, that's the whole speech.

WILLIAMS: It doesn't look good for workers.

PERINO: Go Juan.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, this little lady packs a punch. Folks take a look at 93-year-old Bernice Blouch. Ms. Blouch has seven grandchildren, three great grandchildren live in a senior's community in Seattle and there she's taking up boxing. Now my dad trained boxer, so I grew up around fighters and I can tell you boxing is great exercise, strengthens your upper body, incredible aerobic exercise and of course for the elderly it improves your balance. Blouch says it also makes her brain stimulated.

And it's not only the elderly whose strapping on gloves. Here in New York, models and actors that put boxing in position to challenge yoga as the fitness activity of choice. So, Bernice at 93 years young, kid you are a champ. Go for it, Bernice.

PERINO: In Seattle, she's protecting herself from hobos.

WILLIAMS: Is that it? OK.

PERINO: Kennedy?

MONTGOMERY: Oh! My Gosh. Prom season is upon us.


MONTGOMERY: Couple, high school couple in Georgia. They were taking prom pictures and notice the zombies in the background because Walking Dead shoots around there. These are not extras from the show. These are people who are paid to put on makeup as a tourist attraction. Their Photographer Stephanie just kept shooting and it turned the zombies into prombies and then they ate their faces and brains. And now the young people will be living a miserable life forever.

PERINO: That's a great show, a great Friday.

WATTERS: That's a good one.

PERINO: We hope you have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. "Special Report" up next.

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