Gutfeld On The New California Bill That Would Decriminalize Psychedelic Drugs

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Gutfeld On The New California Bill That Would Decriminalize Psychedelic Drugs

Proposed law would legalize drugs like psilocybin, MDMA and LSD; reaction on 'The Five'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 3, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Juan Williams, Dana Perino, Greg Gutfeld, and Katie Pavlich. It's five o'clock in New York City and this is THE FIVE.

It's a full-blown disaster at our southern border courtesy of Joe Biden. We are learning today that over 100 illegal immigrants infected with COVID were released by border patrol and they're free to travel across the country.

Keep in mind, if an American citizen gets COVID they have to quarantine and if you are flying into America from a foreign country you have to show a negative COVID test but those same rules don't apply and there is even more.

A new report says the Department of Homeland Security is projecting, there will be 117,000 unaccompanied child migrants crossing the border this year, that breaks all records. Nearly a 50 percent increase from the all-time record and much higher than last year. The report also warning there is not enough resources to handle that surge. Everybody can clearly see this is a crisis, well unless you work at the White House.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNKNOWN: At what point does it become a crisis?

JEN PSAKI, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: Well I would say I don't think we need to meet your bar of what we need to call it, we are approaching this humanely and we are approaching this in a way where we will keep the children safe.

UNKNOWN: Did you receive a briefing about the border today?

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Yes, I did.

UNKNOWN: What did you learn?

BIDEN: A lot.

UNKNOWN: Is there a crisis at the border, sir?

UNKNOWN: Thank you.

BIDEN: No, we will be able to handle it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right, Gutfeld, I think they want this to happen, they invited this surge and then it's easier to smuggle a child across the border, they bring back chain migration, they grant amnesty or asylum to a child and that whole family gets to come up and become American citizens now. That's what they want, they vote Democrat and there you go.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Did he say God willing? Like after that, like everything is going to work. I mean, it doesn't inspire confidence when that's the last thing he said. I think that's what he said, right? God willing, you know? It's like your doctor when he's leaving, yes, is everything OK? God willing. You know? Thanks, pal.

One hundred seventeen thousand child migrants unaccompanied by adults. So I asked this last week, what happened to their loving parents since November when Trump was accused of ripping children from their parents? Now it's like I am beginning to think we were lied to about that. That there weren't parents, that it was always like this.

You know, my wife was gone for a couple months. She came home and found out all the plants were dead. And in science we call this cause and effect because I didn't water the plants and they all died. And so, what you are seeing on the border is the fastest, clearest refutation of disastrous liberal policy because its cause and effect. You remove friction, a barrier combined with a message that tells everybody it's OK to come. You get 117,000 unaccompanied child migrants.

So, if you want to follow the science, that science it's cause and effect. If you eat every day at Cinnabon you are going to get fat. Why is it a disaster for the Democrats? Because it destroys any trust people have in your ability to solve any problems, your feel-good objectives result in impossible logistical challenge, you can't take care of 117,000 unaccompanied child migrants. The Democrats have these adolescent childlike goals but they have no process because they have no parents and the party to solve the problem.

WATTERS: Juan, if Biden doesn't really want this migrant surge, why isn't he doing everything he can to keep the migrants in Mexico or in Central America?

JUAN WILLIAMS, FOX NEWS CO-HOST & POLITICAL ANALYST: I think he is, Jesse, I think that this is a spike.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Then why did he get rid of all the policies that did that?

WILLIAMS: I believe, I believe most of those policies are still in effect and I think that they -- you know, when you look at the policies --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: No, they're not.

WILLIAMS: -- of the United States has had, I go across various administrations, we have seen these spikes, they come and they go, springtime, all the rest. And we just don't have a consistent strategy to deal with high tide, low tide and especially with unaccompanied minors given our amnesty position.

But you know, the way we started talking about 100 kids, 100 plus kids who have coronavirus, you know, we have 70,000 Americans with coronavirus, right? So, I mean, why are we trying to pick on those kids? Let's look I think, more constructively and I hope all of us can agree.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: We're not picking on that, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Let's look at what goes on that U.S.-Mexico border. Because the U.S. is Mexico's largest trading partner, Mexico is our largest trading partner, people cause -- cross that border for commerce, they cross for jobs, tourism and for immigration. It's the busiest border in the world.

So, they are our neighbors, they are our business partners and it's long overdue. I think you go back to the '80s. The last time that we had some significant immigration reform and set rules for what goes on, on the busiest border in the world including handling child migrants as opposed to simply saying, we are going to separate them from our parents and we're going to beat them up or something or build a fictional wall.

I mean, this is all unbelievable. So I think for us on this show, if we are influencers, if we are voices I think all of us across political lines need to say to the Congress, stop the finger pointing, stop the blaming, get busy, let's do something significant for America and have immigration reform that does something about who crosses, when they cross, the DREAMers, the influx, let's do it.

WATTERS: Yes, we already had that, Juan, it was called a wall and remain in Mexico policy. And no catch and release.

WILLIAMS: My God.

WATTERS: All right. Dana, tell me about the communications deal, it looks like some of these Biden flacks are suffering, they are having a hard time filling questions even from the mainstream media about this issue, what's going on there?

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: It reminds me of, do you remember during the Obama years, the right and Fox News and others would give the Obama administration a really hard time because they would never say radical Islamic terrorists?

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: They would just refuse to say it. And it was like, why won't you say, why won't you say it? And then they just dug in, it was like the more you ask them why don't they say it, they are not going to say it so I think that now we are in this situation.

It doesn't matter, you can get 500,000 migrant children, they are not going to say it's a crisis because what you saw what Jen Psaki said, we are not going to meet your bar for that. OK, but that's fine. But people have their own eyes and ears.

And to Juan's point, like I also, I think about, you know, the parents that tell their teenage kids, OK, this is where we drop you off, you are on your own, Godspeed. I mean, that -- it's not that they are heartless, it's like they are heartbroken.

And the other thing that we haven't talked about is the fact that you cannot get all the things that one wants without border security. It's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You have to have security and then everything else can get you to enlightenment, but in the meantime, that base layer is security and part of that is also going to have to be really dealing with the cartels and the coyotes.

You saw what happened yesterday with all of those people, 25 people, 27 people crammed into one SUV to try to get them into America illegally. They got hit by a semi-truck, several of them die, others are like wandering around the desert, there's children there, they don't have any restraints. Like, that is not caring for the human condition at all.

But before we can -- and that is why you have to have border security that will let you do all of the other things like a temporary worker program, visas, DREAMers and things like that but until you get that base layer you are not going to be able to get those things done in Congress.

WATTERS: Yes. President Trump, Katie, did that, he threatened the Mexican president to designate the drug cartels as foreign terrorist organizations if he didn't start pleading up the surge from the south. And then the Mexicans put the army down along their Central American border and a lot of those caravans stopped. Biden comes in, Mexican army leaves and now we have this.

KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, and you have the new DHS secretary saying, basically, come right in but maybe wait for a little while. But the big scandal and the news of the day is the issue of the administration releasing 100 COVID-positive cases of people who come over the border who knowingly got on buses to go to different parts of the country.

You had one woman in that http://foxnews.com piece who said, well, I tested positive, I don't feel anything so I'm going to get on a bus with my kid and go to North Carolina. Where is Dr. Fauci to talk about the super spreader event of a 100 positive people knowingly and voluntarily moving on to different parts of the country.

Remember all these CDC graphics that they produced, one of the choirs, there is one, there are 67 people and one person in the choir had COVID and they spread it to six -- to 87 percent of the people in that room? So, if you add up the number of people, the 100 cases we know of that's thousands of people who are going to get this disease as a result of the federal government not doing a better job of making sure these people were quarantined.

And the standards here are insane. Every state had different standards. In New York you have to quarantine for 14 days, or whatever, maybe it's changed since then, just for getting on a bus. Just for traveling, not even with a positive COVID test.

PERINO: Right.

PAVLICH: And for the White House today to say well, it's just a local issue. They are the ones who are about to send every American a mask. Why aren't they talking more about the idea that they are letting these people in who are COVID-positive after we've just gone through this pandemic. It's absolutely insane. It's insane.

WATTERS: Yes, you wouldn't do it in an airport so you shouldn't be doing it on foot across the southern border.

Up next, the liberal media and Joe Biden going absolutely ballistics after Texas Governor Greg Abbott fully open the state up and ditches the mask mandate.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. GREG ABBOTT (R-TX): This must end. It is now time to open Texas 100 percent.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Texas Governor Greg Abbott saying his state will open soon fully. And he is causing controversy of course, by ending his state's mask mandate. President Biden scolding Texas and Mississippi for lifting mask restrictions. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: I think it's a big mistake. The last thing you need is Neanderthal thinking that in the meantime, everything is fine. Take off your mask. Forget it. It still matters.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: And many in the media are not happy with Governor Abbott, either.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNKNOWN: Governor Abbott has lost his mind.

JONATHAN REINER, CARDIOLOGIST, GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL: This is obviously a political ploy on part of the governor.

DON LEMON, CNN HOST: The only reason I can see is because of what happened in Texas that someone dropped the ball and they are trying to change the conversation. That's it. A destruction.

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN HOST: This is part of this prevailing macho sentimentality that strong and wrong is the way to go.

UNKNOWN: The Texas governor said COVID be dead, everybody, go ahead and open up. You get some COVID, you get some COIVD, you get some COVID, you get some COVID.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Wow. This segment could've actually been the whole show. Jesse, let me start with you. So, one thing that's getting lost is that the governor was tying his decisions, and maybe didn't explain it well, to his goals for getting seniors vaccinated on vulnerable populations to a safe place before making this order.

WATTERS: Well, some state had to go first, it might as well be Texas. The same people complaining about this were the same people complaining about Georgia when they came out of the gate first and none of their predictions came true. They thought everyone down in Georgia was going to drop like flies, it didn't happen.

He's following the advice of his medical team in Texas. I trust them, that's what governors do. They are going to take the lead on this and then other governors can see how this played out.

I hate to say it Dana, I was in chart all day at the New York Times web site, Johnny's eyes were falling out of his skull, every single state had the same exact trend no matter mask mandate or not.

PERINO: Yes.

WATTERS: It went a surge in the spring and summer and then down in the fall and then super surge in the winter and then it just falls off a cliff, precipitously no matter what you do. These are some boring numbers. Last month Texas had 30,000 cases a day, today they have 5,000 cases. Deaths are cut in half, hospitalizations 15,000 to 5,000.

Texas is doing fantastic. I saw Newsom wagging his little finger at Abbott, where does he come off? Texas is beating California in pretty much every single metric and their economy is doing better. The major clusters in Texas are the nursing homes and the prisons. I'm sure people will still be wearing masks there.

If you go to a restaurant, Dana, you put your mask on, you fake it until you walk to the table and then you rip it off and guzzle wine and have some, I don't know, steak and potatoes and then you put the mask on when you walk to the bathroom and then you leave. It's a joke.

I've done this, you've done this, everybody has done this and I've never seen people complain that the government is not forcing them to do something. Texans can still wear masks if they want to.

PERINO: Yes. Yes. In fact, we interviewed someone today on America's Newsroom (Inaudible) which sounds amazing. She said that they are going to still wear masks, Greg, because she thinks that that's the right thing to do for her restaurant. It's going to be socially distant.

The word Neanderthal, let me tell you, that will get -- that's some fighting words, Greg, because that gets people in Texas to think don't mess with us.

GUTFELD: What, I mean, what a surprise, though. It's always about people with Democrats. You are deplorable, you are unsalvageable, you are Neanderthal, you are probably a white supremacist that's guilty of white privilege. They only smear populations. Whereas, if you listened to Jesse just now, he brings up Newsom. We don't bring up Californians. We talk about Cuomo. We don't talk about New Yorkers.

We talk about Joe. We don't talk about the United States. We talk about the mayor of Portland, we focus on the actual individuals, we don't go after Biden voters, right? Or Californians.

But here's the issue with people like Joe Biden and those clones, you can't win against the wait until it's 100 percent safe argument because it will never be a 100 percent safe. That's the prism of two ideas. That's why Joe said, hey, maybe everything will be OK by next year this time.

We saw this coming. We knew this because leaders and the media both have no skin in this game. They have jobs, they have exemptions, they have kids in private schools and tutors, they can go on forever and they'll be just great.

But I want to talk about Texas just quickly. If Texas were a person, it's the person who leaves the lost group of hikers to go and seek help, it's the person who assumes the risk first on behalf of others. The state actually stepped up. You need of Texas in a world of leaders who have no problem shutting down things indefinitely. And the media, the media is that person in every disaster movie that needs to be slapped by the hero. Stop panicking. Like Gene Hackman in the "Poseidon" adventure is Texas and the media or the people going, I don't know what to do. And yet, (Inaudible).

PERINO: Pull yourself together.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Hey, Juan, there are 14 other states I believe that didn't have a mask mandate either. Are they do you think that they are going to get the Neanderthal label?

WILLIAMS: I don't like the label like you don't but I must say, I think in those other states they have not done away, they haven't said we are open, you know, in that way. So, what -- to me, look, I think this is a sign of progress that Texas thinks, so, yes, we can do this now. It may be premature.

I think it's, you know, to my mind it's a sign of impatience on the governor's part but I think it's a sign of progress in the sense that we are. They see declining rates of infection in the country right now --

WATTERS: Yes.

WILLIAMS: -- in Texas. New COVID cases, you know, right now they're down. I think at 70 percent since inauguration day, since Biden took office if you want to put it that way. But that's true for us all. So, I think a lot of people are like optimistic. They're saying, hey, the spring is coming, you know, the sun is out.

PERINO: Yes, OK.

WILLIAMS: The numbers are going down. And so we can do it. But I think, you know, look, a lot of this is left over from Trump, he mishandled the pandemic. His own pollsters said he thinks that's why he lost the election. And now, you have people saying, hey, look, things like, you know, Biden took the bull by the horns, maybe we can just do what we want to do. But I think that's a mistake.

PERINO: Katie, I hope that reopening states so that economies can get back going and businesses can open is not going to become the political like everything else.

PAVLICH: Yes. Well, the media is already making it political as if they know better. You know, unless they are going to start covering the fact that the Biden administration it's allowing COVID-infected migrants, illegal immigrants to get on buses to spread this disease to other people, they have no business talking about any of this.

And also, why is Joe Biden still wearing a mask? He's been vaccinated. Like this virtue signaling that continues on is just really getting tiresome and states start opening only because cases are going down, they are opening because people are demanding that their government be representative of them and stop infringing on their ability to make money and to make a living. So, it's a combination of all those things.

PERINO: OK. Next up, here's a phrase I never thought I'd say. Dropping acid can soon be legal. Decriminalizing psychedelic drugs in big blue states is gaining momentum and Greg has a monologue on that.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: California lawmaker might have discovered the only reason to stay in California. Scott Wiener is introducing a bill to decriminalize psychedelic drugs like Psilocybin, LSD, NMDA, Ketamine, DMT, among others. The bill will focus on their medical benefits regarding PTSD, depression, and other ailments. But these drugs are also known for making people love people more. Right, Dana?

PERINO: It will make you fall in love with your fellow humans and your fellow citizens all over again.

GUTFELD: Well, another satisfied customer. See, we were raised to believe drugs were evil by the same media who got everything else wrong, too, the same media that let us on politics, religion, nuclear power, the coming ice age, gun data and law enforcement. They also demonized drug use because it attracts eyeballs.

Meanwhile, the war on drugs produced more casualties than most real wars, forcing consumers to purchase drugs on the street and that's how people die, diverted to the ill-measured concoctions mixed with truly deadly crap sold on the streets that lead to O.D.'s. Those mass numbers of opioid overdoses weren't from prescriptions but street drugs laced with fentanyl.

I wonder how many other drug overdoses were due to that same pattern. Illegality sending users to deadly substances. Look, the media narratives have of always gotten the big threats wrong, whether it's terror or the pandemic, instead they focus on fears that are easily marketable and understood, drugs are evil. But they aren't. The desire to obstruct your right to relief is.

How is drug control any different than gun control? It's about your right as an adult to make educated decisions. Give us that freedom and fewer people will die from the unscientific decisions of others.

Well, Dana, that was a brave stance you took.

PERINO: I just have a question. If we can now do drugs legally in California, can we also do indoor dining? Is that a risk that were worth -- that is worth taking?

So, you know, we're talking about Dr. Seuss today and things like that, and I always wonder, what are we doing right now that in, you know, 50, 70, 100 years from now people will look back and like, wow, they were crazy. How could they possibly have thought that? And it really could be that this is one of those issues that they look back, and they're like, wow, why would they have done this? The war on drugs didn't work.

Now, the Just Say No Campaign, it worked for me. And I'm perfectly happy with that. But if there -- if there is relief to be had for people who are suffering from drugs like this, and they're comfortable with it, and they're making good decisions, and maybe it's even under a doctor's supervision, if they -- if that's needed, hey, so be it.

GUTFELD: Yes. Somebody tells me if it was a just say yes, you still would have said no.

PERINO: Absolutely.

GUTFELD: Katie, you probably know more about guns than anybody at Fox. You have to spend like at least half your time correcting the data whenever you're in a debate, right? It's like they come in, they don't know what an AR 15 is or whatever. Everybody gets the wrong thing backwards. So, how can you trust the media or the last 40 years on the -- on drug data is what I'm saying? That's what I -- that's my epiphany.

PAVLICH: Yes. So, this is an issue that I don't know much about. I think that it would be better if we allowed a well-managed red state to take this on first, rather than California, because I don't trust that California will do this well or be fair to the experiment.

I think if you did it on a very small scale and had an open debate about it and more information on the other end of the spectrum about it, we could have a conversation about moving forward to maybe changing some things rather than sticking to the status quo and the same narrative.

But you've also seen this on the other side of things where people who are in a lot of pain can't get legal drugs, meaning like painkillers, and they end up committing suicide because they have such a horrible, horrible living situation. So, we've overshot on that in terms of not getting people the things that they need, and then maybe legalization of these things is also a little bit of a stretch too far. But I am open to being convinced.

GUTFELD: I will -- I will convince you. So, Juan, if I rent a small private plane for both of us to go to California, will you go to the desert with me and drop acid?

WILLIAMS: Why not. Didn't Buckley sail off the coast so he could get high?

GUTFELD: Yes, he did. He did.

WILLIAMS: I bet that's right. But, you know, look, I think you're onto something. I'm not sure we agree, but I think you're onto something because here in the District of Columbia, this was on the ballot last November. It was also on the ballot in Oregon. And in both places, the voters legalized it and said it's OK.

So, you know, I mean -- you know, I don't get it in some ways. I voted against it, by the way. But this to me is an extension of marijuana legalization. You know, but to me psychedelics are much more serious than smoking pot. And, you know, I agree with you guys. Everybody said, war on drugs was a mistake. It put people in jail unnecessarily.

But to me, you know, when you think about psychedelics, I think psychedelics are different not only than marijuana, they're different than cocaine, they're different than heroin. I think psychedelics are not cocaine and heroin in terms of addiction, but they are serious drugs that could damage mentally ill people in significant ways.

GUTFELD: Jesse, that's why it is important to control the purity and dosage of these substances, which is what we do with caffeine and cigarettes.

WATTERS: True, but you never know what you're getting.

GUTFELD: But then, you will.

WATTERS: Although I do want to join you with Juan. Are they going to have government-regulated labs in California to give you the perfect ounce? I'm not so sure.

GUTFELD: That would be great.

WATTERS: Yes, possibly.

WILLIAMS: Boy, that is going to be something.

WATTERS: Listen, you and I disagree on blanket legalization. I'm not into your crazy stuff with a hardcore narcotics like heroin and meth and crack. That's addictive and dangerous and destroys lives. Just ask the addicts about it.

GUTFELD: You have no evidence.

WATTERS: But therapeutic properties -- therapeutic -- well, ask an addict, Greg. There's one sleeping on the sidewalk right outside my van right here.

GUTFELD: They're hooked on impure substances.

WATTERS: I'm talking about -- I'm talking about people that are suffering from PTSD. If you want to try something like MDMA under a doctor's supervision, that's fine. Or if you're just an adult that wants to take acid, go wander around California and enjoy the weather, no one is going to stop you. What I worry about is high school kids, Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: What about the children?

WATTERS: If you're going to dabble in it, and you're set on it, just don't do it every weekend. A lot of people just can't handle it. You know, you don't want to be one of those kids that's doing it every single weekend.

GUTFELD: That's for them to decide though, Jesse. You could say that about firearms -- you could say that about firearms, you could say that about alcohol, and almost anything that is safe can also be dangerous.

WATTERS: Exactly. And I'm just saying kids in high school don't have the wherewithal to determine am I going to drop six tabs on a Saturday and do it again next weekend for the rest of the year, or are they going to take it once, enjoy it, and then maybe never do it again? It's a different kind of experience, OK. You know it and I know it.

GUTFELD: Yes. But individuals in a free country should have the right to seek their own oblivion --

WATTERS: Not my child.

GUTFELD: -- whether it's a martini after work or (INAUDIBLE) heroin. All right, up next, Andrew Cuomo speaking out for the first time about harassment allegations and begging for forgiveness.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: New York Governor Andrew Cuomo speaking out publicly for the first time on his sexual harassment scandal. He also addressed the growing calls to step down. Take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. ANDREW CUOMO (D-NY): I'm not going to resign. I acted in a way that made people feel uncomfortable. It was unintentional and I truly and deeply apologize for it. I never touched anyone inappropriately. You can go find hundreds of pictures of me kissing people, men, women. It is my usual and customary way of greeting.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Jesse, he's not resigning. Could this buy him time and then by the time the investigation concludes, it's all old news?

WATTERS: Yes. He's trying to ride it out. But listen to what he just said. This is my usual customary way of greeting. This is what politicians do. They live in a world where they work a room. You go in there, you backslap, your handshake, you hug, you kiss, and people come up to them, and they do the same thing to them. They're fans, they say, I love you, Governor, you're the best. So, you get this familiarity with this closeness and this warmth by the way you interact as a politician with crowds.

But slime balls like Cuomo or Franken or even Joe Biden, who's been accused of doing the same thing, they take advantage of access to these types of people, fans or colleagues. So, it can very quickly go from consensual arm around to that arms going lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, until the woman say what are you doing.

And it's so shocking for the woman because she generally usually admires this politician. And she can't believe that it just gone from a normal friendly interaction to this guy's putting his hands in places that I can't believe it's happening.

So, I would suggest that women -- and I've gotten in trouble for saying this before, you slap the man in the face, and you do it immediately. Because if you wait too long, then the politician feels like he can keep doing this. And it doesn't matter if it comes out a year, three years later. Do it immediately when it's fresh.

WILLIAMS: Wow. OK, Katie, the governor said he didn't know he's making people uncomfortable. Can you buy that in 2021?

PAVLICH: I don't know. I can't get inside of his head. I would rather have him apologize for shoving people's elderly parents and grandparents into nursing homes and then having them die and have him not care about any of that and cover up the numbers, and of course, not cooperate with the federal investigation or any kind of local investigation or turning over information to Democrat and Republican lawmakers in New York.

I wish that he would apologize for that kind of behavior, in addition to apologizing for making a number of people uncomfortable.

WILLIAMS: So, Dana, do you think this is a maturation of MeToo due process and an apology?

PERINO: Well, no. I think it just is -- you know, it continues and he is trying to buy time. This is what some of the other men have been accused of this stuff try to say to try to, like ride it out. You know, Joe Biden had a similar thing. He's like, I didn't know. I didn't realize.

But here's the other thing that gets to me. He kept saying in this press conference. I didn't touch anyone, like, oh, is that the new standard of exercising power over a subordinate in the workplace? Someone alert the H.R. department because that's not -- that's certainly not how the sexual harassment training goes that we all go through that he put in place as governor.

WILLIAMS: So, Greg, we see some Democrats at least one calling for him to get out. You think if he was a Republican governor, Republicans would be calling for him to resign?

GUTFELD: Probably, I don't know. It's a tough -- it's a tough question. My problem is why this and not that to Katie's point. You know, Cuomo could have kissed a thousand nuns on the lips every day for a month and it's still not as bad as the rest home massacre.

So, I -- you know, I thought -- to me, I felt that the apology was pathetic. It was groveling. It was painful, because he's so serious and devastated for these accusations of three women saying that they made him uncomfortable, but that's -- but it's not about the rest homes. It's like - - it's like he's -- it's like you're guilty of armed robbery, but they're charging you with double parking.

It makes no sense to me. And I just can't get past that. When I'm watching how -- like that apology should have been for the rest homes. When you're watching how he's choking up, that's what -- I'm like -- going like, how is this possible? Is this -- is this 2021 that it's far worse to do that than to do this? I don't know. I'm at a loss, Juan.

WILLIAMS: All right. OK, "THE FASTEST," it's up next here on THE FIVE.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PAVLICH: Welcome back. It's time for "THE FASTEST." First up, men who are horrified by their Zoom call appearances are now buying makeup in drove. And sales of male cosmetics are booming. So Jesse, do you have any tips for people as a professional male makeup artist? WILLIAMS: I just think -- yes, men who wear makeup are so narcissistic. I mean, I think what you want to do is just be comfortable with your flaws and own it. And that's what makes a man a man.

PAVLICH: Juan?

WILLIAMS: I think this is great. This is a conversation among men wearing makeup about men wearing makeup. I think that's pretty crazy. I think all the men here wear makeup.

PAVLICH: Greg?

GUTFELD: Not just on the face either, Juan. I have it all over my body. It's disgusting. You know what I noticed though? I noticed, and I bet you everybody will agree with me, people are way better looking now than when I was younger. And I think it's because of YouTube instructions have made everybody hotter. Like people now know how to do stuff.

Like when I was a kid, I had to live with my pimples in my funky hair. But now you just go on YouTube and you get all the answers. And if you're a five, you go to a 10. That's all I got.

PAVLICH: You know, Dana, the funny thing about working in television is that you see all kinds of men getting makeup like the President of the United States, the CIA Director, all these -- you know, the Defense Secretary, all these men, these manly men.

PERINO: Well, I'm not --

WATTERS: Katie, don't tell our enemies that the Defense Secretary wears makeup. That's going to be used as propaganda.

PERINO: I think -- I think --

PAVLICH: You know what, Vladimir Putin also wears makeup.

PERINO: I think most men I know don't actually like wearing makeup, but they know that they need to. Richard Nixon taught them that. I really see this as a great business opportunity for you, Jesse. What about a line of Jesse Watters and "WATTERS' WORLD" makeup at Sephora?

WATTERS: I mean, why am I -- Greg is the one that enjoys putting his own makeup on, and that's a direct quote.

GUTFELD: It's true. I will not lie.

PAVLICH: Well, Zoom has done a lot, that's for sure, including introducing a number of men to the world of makeup that Jesse, Juan, and Greg know very well. "ONE MORE THING" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: All right, time for "ONE MORE THING." So, unlike many people on this show, I actually admit when I'm wrong, and I think that gives me a lot of credibility for when I'm right, which is pretty much all the time. So, roll the tape.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Take a look at this. German Shepherd --

PERINO: German Shepherd?

WATTERS: -- he's been bullied by a Doberman.

PERINO: It's a Golden Retriever.

WATTERS: Wait, I thought that was a German Shepherd.

Here is a -- what is this thing, a cocker spaniel? Here is a Labrador looking at himself in the mirror.

PERINO: We need to get Jessie a 365 dog book.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: So, I've been brushing up on my breeds because obviously, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Katie Pavlich sent me, it's called Every Dog, a book of over 450 breeds. I learned a lot about Rookie in here, like his lifespan, which was a little unsettling. But you know, there's stuff here about Chow Chow, a Chinese dog that migrated into China from Antarctica. It tells you everything, exercise requirements --

PERINO: Wow, yes, books do that.

WATTERS: So, get this book. Yes, a lot of books. I'm reading a lot.

GUTFELD: It's like he discovered there's a book on dogs.

PAVLICH: I want you to have the facts, Jesse.

GUTFELD: And there's a dog in China.

WATTERS: Yes, Greg, there's 449 more breeds in here. I'll send you a copy too. Dana Perino who needs no book.

PERINO: Well, here's a dog breed. I don't know if you've read about this. It's in the B's for boxer. In case that's alphabetical book there. And this boxer reminded me last weekend. I was so tired, I was yawning so hard at the Landers house for dinner. This was me at the table. I mean, he just doesn't want to go to bed. He's like I'm trying so hard to stay awake. It's just very difficult when it sneaks up on you.

WATTERS: I might fell asleep doing that.

PERINO: Is a boxer.

WATTERS: Greg.

GUTFELD: At the Landers house you're having dinner.

PERINO: Yes, the Landers.

GUTFELD: The Landers. Well, wasn't that delightful.

WATTERS: One of the fan.

PERINO: You know the landers.

GUTFELD: Right. My podcast is with Doug Brod. He's got a new book out called They Just Seem A Little Weird. It's all about Cheap Trick, Aerosmith, and how they made rock in roll. It's a great book. I enjoyed it.

Now let's do this. Greg's Celebrity Sightings. So, I was jogging down in -- where was I? I was in Central Park jogging and who did I run into, but my dear friend, Alec Baldwin. And he was getting an outdoor massage. He was completely relaxed and also naked. He's a very, very hairy man. And look -- just look how happy he is getting that little massage and his little hairy coats.

PERINO: Scratches.

GUTFELD: Yes. And that is it for me.

WATTERS: Well, he deserves it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: He just had another child --

GUTFELD: Six now.

WATTERS: So, it's time to unwind.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: That's right. He's making America great again. Juan, go ahead.

WILLIAMS: All right, President Biden, Jill Biden, President Trump, Melania Trump, and now real royalty. Yes, take a look. Dolly Parton getting her COVID shot.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DOLLY PARTON, SINGER: Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, I'm begging you please don't hesitate. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: As you heard, the 75-year-old sang a song. She changed the word of -- words of Jolene to vaccine. My queen of country music waited until the vaccines becoming more widely available. She said she didn't want anyone to think she was jumping the line before now. She thought, you know what, she didn't want to create any confusion.

But it would have been alright with me if she'd gone first. Parton donated $1 million to Vanderbilt Medical Center last year to help with the development of the Coronavirus vaccine.

WATTERS: Yes, I think a lot of men that were on the fence about getting the shot after they saw Dolly, I think they're going to get it now. Katie, go ahead.

WILLIAMS: All right.

PAVLICH: You got to love Dolly. All right, it is National Anthem Day. We're celebrating our great national anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner. Of course, it was written by Francis Scott Key many, many years ago, but was adopted as the national anthem through a Congressional Resolution and signed by President Herbert Hoover in 1931. So, happy National Anthem Day.

PERINO: All right. That's a good one.

WATTERS: That's right. Don't kneel for it. You got to stand, right, Juan?

WILLIAMS: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

WATTERS: That's it for us. "SPECIAL REPORT" is up next with Bret.

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