The holiday of Thanksgiving reminds us that we ought to be thankful for the blessings and the people in our lives.

But what do we do when it seems that everything is going haywire? Maybe somebody recently wronged you. An unexpected expense has thrown off your budget. That new role at your job isn’t as shiny as you thought it would be. Or maybe you’ve been trying to do the right things, live the right way, but situations STILL aren’t working out in your favor.

How do you cope? How do you resist the urge to give up? How do you continue to do good even when you’re not seeing any immediate benefits from “living the right way?" And HOW IN THE WORLD can you be thankful for all of this?

I think Christians sometimes get into a bad habit of making overarching statements about this topic – saying things like, “God is in control,” and “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” While there is truth in these statements, we have to understand them in the right context.

As sinners, there are things we do or that happen to us that God might not have intended for us. Sometimes, because He has given us free will, we make the wrong decisions and find ourselves in troubling situations. This is NOT to say that every bad thing that happens to us is because of something we’ve done.

The point is, life is too complex for us to fully understand. From our viewpoint, we can only see the present struggles we’re experiencing, but God can see the full picture. And He can use these situations for our benefit in ways we can’t begin to comprehend.

Society tells us that when times are tough, we should grin and bear it. On the surface, that sounds like a noble goal. But if you look closely at scripture, God tells us something different. He instructs us to “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:18).  Yes – seriously – we should be THANKFUL even when things don’t go our way.

I already know what you’re thinking: “Ugh please – this girl’s delusional. She’s young and naïve and reading the Bible way too literally.” I get it. This passage confused me when I first read it and at times I still struggle with the concept of gratitude in the face of adversity.

Of course my life struggles don’t compare to those that others have experienced. I’m young and still have a long road ahead of me. But I’m not too young to trust God’s Word and his promises. God has helped shift my perspective on His command to rejoice in times of troubles. There’s a second layer to this that might also help you to better understand.

He says, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” (Romans 5:3-5).

It’s a commonly held belief that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” We get behind this idea when we hear it in pop-culture, singing it in songs and slapping it on bumper stickers, but when God’s attached to this idea, we often get angry and start asking things like, “How can a loving God let us suffer so much?”

Bad things do happen, but Christians shouldn’t be naive. We must remember that we live in a fallen world where things won’t be fair or easy. BUT, God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness if we stay connected to Him against our natural instincts.

We can learn to be grateful in times of trouble when we remember that God loves us too much to want us stay in our comfort zones. Our comfort zones may feel nice and cozy, but they leave little room for growth and definitely NO room for miracles.

We have to trust God as He takes us outside of our comfort zones, remembering, “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to this purpose” (Romans 8:28).

If suffering brings us closer to the perfect joy that only Jesus can give us, we can begin to understand how we can be thankful through the tough times. Talk to God and ask Him to help you adjust your perspective. He is ready to comfort you through your pain.

So no matter what hardships you might be facing this holiday season, keep in mind that God loves you and does want the absolute best for you, which is to be closer to Him. We can all be thankful for that.