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The holidays are a time to gather together with friends and loved ones to share a meal, watch sports, and remember the good things in life we too often take for granted. This year in particular, economic uncertainty, mental health challenges, political unrest, the residual effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, and more are competing to crush our spirits and peace of mind.
I have found that the best way to shift from agonizing over what is wrong with the world to celebrating what is right is to choose compassion over complacency.
Josiah Haken CEO City Relief (City Relief)
I have the privilege of leading an organization called City Relief. We go into the streets with vehicles renovated as mobile soup kitchens that are used to share delicious meals as well as essentials like socks and toiletries with the unhoused community in New York City and New Jersey.
We eat with our guests and have ordinary dinner table conversations with them that, unfortunately, many people won’t. This establishes trust, which often gives us the opportunity to connect people to resources getting them off the street altogether.
Our volunteers consistently leave these events fulfilled, experiencing the joy of seeing their neighbors in need, not as a problem to solve, but as human beings worthy of compassion.
Systemic problems as complex as homelessness often leave us feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed because any effort we make can feel futile. How will a few dollars here or a cup of coffee there improve a person’s situation anyway? In fact, many think such generosity actually exacerbates their situation by enabling people to continue panhandling, or worse, pay for drugs or alcohol.
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I’d like to suggest a different narrative this holiday season. I have a friend that I’ll call Steven. He moved to New York City after college for a job that he lost when his mental health declined. He consequently lost his health insurance, effectively halting his treatment.
Being a mobile outreach allows City Relief to set up directly on the streets of New York City and New Jersey and go directly to places where people experiencing homelessness congregate
Steven slept in the street because he didn’t feel safe in the city’s congregate shelters, an all-too-common feeling among homeless New Yorkers.
Additionally, the shame of what people would think of his mental health and homelessness forced him into despair and isolation.
When I met him on the street, he was completely alone. I invited him to volunteer at our outreach events. City Relief makes a point to include our unhoused guests as contributors, not just beneficiaries.
Volunteers from Mastercard provide the day's fresh vegan soup at one of City Relief's mobile resource centers on a Wednesday in Chelsea Park, New York.
Steven agreed, and over time, began to open up to our team. He found purpose and a sense of belonging through serving other people in a similar situation. Eventually, City Relief staff helped him find appropriate mental health care, stable housing, and a job that pays a living wage.
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Maybe you’re not sure how you can help people like Steven -- you are not alone. I have met hundreds of people over the years who want to make a difference but don’t know where to start. If that’s you, remember this: always start with what you have, right where you are.
Steven shared with me that even on his worst days, there were random people who offered him the dignity of eye contact, a short conversation, or even a cup of coffee. He insists that these small acts of compassion carried him through the most difficult seasons of his life.
Lawyers from both the New York Legal Assistance Group and BOMBAS help guests navigate their housing options during the Wednesday Chelsea Park outreach.
What if your family and friends were to dedicate an hour this holiday season to assemble what I call kindness kits? These are Ziploc bags that have essentials like travel-size deodorants, body wash, toothbrushes, toothpaste, new socks, bottled water, or a gift card for a local coffee shop.
Once assembled, you can walk the streets and look for people like Steven who might need help getting through the day. Or if that makes you uncomfortable, you can donate them to an organization like City Relief who will gladly distribute them on your behalf.
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Another idea may be to collect winter coats, gloves, and hats that are in good condition and distribute or donate them to your neighbors who will spend a lot of time outside this winter. You could also make a financial donation to your nonprofit of choice and invite your friends or colleagues to follow suit. You will be surprised by how much helping others may end up helping you.
The truth is that many of us are experiencing difficulties right now. As a result, choosing compassion over complacency may not feel natural. But what I have learned from people like Steven is that when life is taking more from you than you have to give, the best thing to help yourself is to look for ways to help someone else.
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