Gutfeld on Trump selling plastic straws

Most political campaigns sell tacky T-shirts nobody wants. What is the Trump campaign selling? An attitude. In the form of recyclable, plastic straws.In the time since the campaign tweeted, "making straws great again," the first batch of 140,000 sold out. That's $200,000 in sales.

You can call this silly or mean, but really, it's hilarious. The Trump straw targets key liberal weaknesses — their strident humorlessness, and misplaced priorities — and pokes them right in the eyes.

The crusade to ban plastic straws is more proof of how liberals try to distract us from the harm they’ve done to our cities, our law enforcement, our job markets and our border.

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Maybe no one will notice what they did to the humans of downtown Los Angeles and other Democratic hellholes if they save a turtle from a straw.

An actual headline said, "Someday a turtle may end up with a Trump-branded straw in its nose."

Wow! Who knew reptiles did coke?

So Trump saw this absurd crusade as a perfect opportunity for the new Republican Party, one that finally understands the power of fun and the muscle of mockery.

Long the turf solely owned by the smirking left, the script has been flipped. It’s now the left shrieking like nosy neighbors, and the right laughing out loud.

The paper straw is a perfect symbol: a failed soggy replacement for something that worked just fine.

A paper straw is socialism to capitalism's sturdy plastic.

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How funny is it that the straw's purpose is to suck? You'd think the left would do that well. Wrong. They even suck at sucking.

Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on "The Five" on July 23, 2019.

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