In times of unease and confusion, it helps to have a leader come out and do something bold -- to tell us life is okay, and we can return to normal. It's like what your dad used to do after exiting the bathroom with a can of Lysol. Everything was now under control.
Well, the greatest man in the history of the world is back. Yes, our former 44th president has given the middle finger to the CDC by inviting over 500 people to his 60th birthday party at his 12 million dollar Martha's Vineyard mansion.
It’s the beach house bash that shows America that there’s no reason to be worried about covid or rising sea levels. Yep -- climate change and corona are officially dead, according to this news. Although I think my invite got lost in the mail or mixed up with all those love letters from Megan Fox.
Apparently, the guests will be wined and dined by over 200 staffers. 200. Boy, I bet border patrol in Texas is green with envy. Yep, I wonder how the wall of security at this party would take to a bunch of partygoers just showing up, demanding to be let in. And I wonder if you bring a kid, you'll be let in free, just like our border!
Pearl Jam was supposed to play. But now they deny it. They really are a thinking man's ABBA. All guests will have to be tested and vaxed, and there will be a COVID coordinator to make sure people follow precautions. I guess that's how Fauci got his invite.
Now, this news comes amid an increase in the delta variant and the ensuing media panic. A panic, however, that doesn't go near Obama for holding a bash during a pandemic.
But I salute him and the message he's sending, which is - rather than shut down your lives again, it's time to throw Fauci to the wind and live your life. Death comes for all of us whether it’s the minuscule risk a vaccinated person has from covid, or the giant risk of getting murdered in Portland.
The real challenge isn't simply the virus, it's overcoming those who politicize this in order to divide a country. Too bad there isn't a vaccine to protect us from CNN's misinformation. Based on their ratings it would only take about 50 doses.
I wonder what the angry White male has to say?
Tom Shillue: Come on let Barack Obama have a party would ya? I mean, what a man decides to do in his own private island mansion is his business. Of course, I wouldn’t go to the party even if I was invited. Not because I’m concerned about covid-19 but I just prefer more solitary activities like riding ski lifts alone in the summer.
And the angry Black male?
Tyrus: President Barack Obama is throwing a party? Great, good for him, we need more parties in this country. I think it’s great that president trump is throwing rallies—which are kind of like parties. I think those are great. I love the fact that our former presidents throw parties and rallies. You know what else would be some cool parties since we are on the subject of partying? How about a "facts only CDC party?" That would be awesome. I would love to attend that, that would be an easy guest list. How about a "no free money is good money party" that would be phenomenal. We could all get back to work and pulling our own weight and back to doing the things that make this country great again. And then again there’s my favorite party, the "you must be taller than 5’9" to ride this ride party." Gutfeld, I know it’s you, sending these camera crews around me all the time. I know it’s you.
Meanwhile, other leaders are doing the same thing. DC Mayor Bowser was photographed maskless at an emergency wedding reception just after reinstating a mask mandate for her city. But can you blame her? It's very hard to breathe wearing a mask while doing the chicken dance. DC is currently averaging one covid death a week. Experts say the city has become so criminally dangerous, even COVID doesn't want to go there!
Meanwhile - who was at Lalapalooza? The worst mayor in history – if you ignore Bill de Blasio. It's Chicago's Lori Lightfoot, despite threatening new lockdowns. She's the mayor who always looks like she just walked in on a naked Jerry Nadler. It's like she just saw something she can't ever unsee.
But, if anyone should be hiding their face its her, given what she's done to Chicago. But I hope she enjoyed the music - if anything it drowns out the gunfire.
But times are different. Right now we have health experts sending more mixed messages than an MRI of the president’s brain, and the orders are violated by our leaders as quickly as they're given.
Yesterday’s censorship becomes tomorrow's fact. Which I'm good with. I love seeing hypocrites in action. For what you are truly seeing is a division between the power and the powerless, as well as a new fake justice masquerading as action.
It used to be that laws were for everyone. Didn't matter who you are. Not so, now. We now have laws and restrictions for the law-abiding only -- and then no laws at all for those who don't.
You can be mandated to do this, and do that. But no such efforts directed at the shoplifting, the looting, the homeless encampments populating the cities. So when there's a dramatic surge in crime, the instinct is not to go after the criminal, but to create more restrictions for people who already follow them.
Imagine a fire alarm, when pulled sends the trucks to places that aren't on fire. That's the new strategy here.
It's why now, with COVID, the powerful make sweeping judgments about Americans who might have good, bad, or insane reasons not to be vaccinated. Or to wear a mask. They mock them. Call them stupid. Call them killers.
But they wouldn't dare stand in the way of a man walking out of Walgreens with enough product to keep Jesse Watters' hair standing on end for eternity.
They wouldn't dare try to get the transients off the street. Or the harassing panhandlers overwhelming the subways.
That takes guts. So instead they call you names - then throw a party.
It's the Gutfeld golden rule: one enters politics to become immune to the laws one creates for others. But I say if Obama can party, so can we.
It's time to be inspired by him and get back to what Americans do best. Which is doing whatever the hell you want. And then later, if you're kat, waking up in your neighbor's tool shed.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the August 2, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"